Wait: There are membership cards for lesbians? Does the Lesbian Alliance charge membership fees?

“Content to remain a les-bro...” Content? You should be ecstatic. You’ve hit the jackpot.

First of all, stop worrying about coming on to your friends. They already know you’re attracted to them. And they’re good with that. Not surprising. Hardly anyone minds being adored. They also know that you fantasize about one or both of them straying off the same-sex farm. They don’t mind that either. All you need to do is avoid getting all starry-eyed and talking about True Love and Destiny. Don’t push it – ever. Don’t push it even if one (or both) of them come on to you. Most opposite-sex friends test the waters a little, usually when they’re wallowing in self-loathing and self-pity. Don’t expect a “When Harry Met Sally” ending, though. At best, you might be able to salvage the friendship. Try ice cream and chocolate and “Better than Chocolate” before you unzip anything.

Secondly, listen to Amy. You can learn a LOT about what women are thinking. That won’t help you catch females, but it might make you aware that you are not the hunter, and they are not prey. Might also help you shut up long enough for some woman to get comfy with you. Then when you finally do unload all your backed-up BS, she won’t run for the door. She might just tell you what Amy’s telling you – you worry too much. And she might just show you that you really have nothing to worry about.

Thirdly, you should realize that your unavailable women friends have other women friends who are NOT averse to a heterosexual relationship. Cool women friends, who are not into Barbie makeup or games or suburban houses with picket fences. Really, really interesting women.

I know they are not interested in men, yet I continue to have prurient thoughts about them, and find this continuing attraction to gay women confusing.

Not sure what there is to be confused about. Frustrated might be a little more understandable, since they clearly don't have any romantic interest in men, and they're hot. On the other hand, even if a guy looks like Matt Damon, has a great personality, and loads of money, only a small percentage of available hetero hot women would be romantically interested in him anyway, so I'm not sure how much difference LW's friends' sexuality really makes.

Gosh, I hope that my "Good friends" don't go thinking and talking about me like I'm little more than a sex object!

Just sayin. Get a grip, dude. That's why they invented porn.

Anyone know the evolutionary explanation for why guys dig girl-on-girl?

A hiker who gives hugs and uses phrases like "lunched with them" and "prurient thoughts"? This guy is oozing so much betatude that he'll never get ANY hot women, never mind a couple of hot lesbians. Sack up, man.

Anyone know the evolutionary explanation for why guys dig girl-on-girl?

Cause some part of their brain figures two for the price of one

Cause some part of their brain figures two for the price of one

From what I've read, the most popular porn is many men with one woman. Makes sense, in a way. Two women is twice the amount of work for the same payoff.

"Anyone know the evolutionary explanation for why guys dig girl-on-girl?"

um 2 words there...

girl.
and
girl.

interesting MonicaP I've heard this is actually less interesting, and is a niche. What you are talking about is competition and who wants that?

Evolution wise, we want them all, a herd. We aren't talking about a payoff, we want to spread genes and other parts as far as we can. It's not like our reptilian brain wants to actually keep them.

as for LtW... Beta may be high praise.. what are you chaste, dude? You are having purient thoughts because you are closer to them than anyone in your bed [which sounds like no-one ATM]

Let 'em know you are lonely, and maybe they know a hetro friend to set you up with, elsewise they's friends...

and you need to find someone for yourself... maybe not hunter, but you need to INTENTIONALLY search for and go meet someone who is good for you.

I know they are not interested in men, yet I continue to have prurient thoughts about them, and find this continuing attraction to gay women confusing.

Not sure why you're confused. As Amy pointed out, "you're attracted to extremely attractive women, some of whom happen to be gay."

Now, if you were attracted only to attractive lesbians and not also to attractive straight women, that would be something to be confused about.

Wait: There are membership cards for lesbians?

For Costco, yes. But not for Chick-fil-A.

Gosh, I hope that my "Good friends" don't go thinking and talking about me like I'm little more than a sex object!

Lori, first of all, just because a guy finds a woman attractive and would like to sleep with her doesn't mean he thinks of her only (or even primarily) as a "sex object." Take the LW, for example. He's attracted to these two women but he also seems to like them and appears to be friends with them.

Second, if you have good friends who are men and they aren't attracted to you, then it's not very likely they're thinking of you sexually. If , on the other hand, they are attracted to you, then they may very well be thinking of you that way.

You had me at 'kale chips'.

Also at 'lesbians'.

as for LtW... Beta may be high praise.. what are you chaste, dude?

No I'm not, except involuntarily. And how did I get roped into this SwissArmyD? I'm not chasing lesbians. Flirty married women I'll admit to.

/tongue in cheek

Perhaps I should post under my actual name to avoid confusion.

You hit the jackpot for other reasons. They can help you pick up other hot straight women. If you are hanging out with a hot woman other hot women will want you. Google "woman wingman."

What you are talking about is competition and who wants that?

I first read it in "Sex at Dawn," which is a fascinating read on evo psych that challenges many of the current explanations for why we behave the way we do. Not all of it is persuasive, but it's thought-provoking.

I read the book quite some time ago, so I might be wrong, but if I remember correctly, the authors hypothesized that competition is precisely what appeals to men in gang-bang porn. The more desirable a mate a woman is, the more men will compete for her. With girl-on-girl porn, the visual stimulus is appealing, but most men aren't having more orgasms; they're just putting in more work. One male friend who has admitted to a threesome told me that it wasn't as much fun as he expected. He was still getting off only once, and then the women had sex with each other.

They cited a number of things as evidence, including the shape of the human penis (designed not only to inseminate but also to compete with other sperm) and the fact that women are more vocal than men during sex, which could be a way of signaling the status of her mate to competitors. They also cited the fact that women can have multiple orgasms, while men are usually one and done, and men are more likely to fall asleep right after sex, giving women the chance to leave and find other mates.

I definitely recommend the book if you haven't read it already.

"Anyone know the evolutionary explanation for why guys dig girl-on-girl?"

Personally, I think it's overrated. But I think there's two factors, with very different concerns:

(1) The fantasy about being the meat in the sandwich, so to speak.

(2) There seems to be less blatently bad acting in girl-on-girl scenes. Less mugging for the camera, less moaning through the nose, less changing positions every five seconds... in general, less of the stupid cliches that ruin the fantasy. I'm not sure why this is, but it's been my observation.

Ha, yeah, I was going to mention Sex at Dusk too, but I'm glad Amy beat me to it.

Monica: if I remember correctly, the authors hypothesized that competition is precisely what appeals to men in gang-bang porn. The more desirable a mate a woman is, the more men will compete for her.

I'm not one of those guys who likes MFM porn, but that idea seems plausible to me. After all, I doubt most straight men watching that kind of porn are getting off on watching the hairy dudes.

With girl-on-girl porn, the visual stimulus is appealing, but most men aren't having more orgasms; they're just putting in more work.

How would a guy watching girl-on-girl porn be putting in more work? He's just watching, not participating.

One male friend who has admitted to a threesome told me that it wasn't as much fun as he expected. He was still getting off only once, and then the women had sex with each other.

Now, in an actual FMF deal, the guy may well be putting in more work, and I'm sure that some guys are disappointed that the reality doesn't measure up to the fantasy. A woman I was with for two years was bi. She'd tease me about having a threesome with another woman but would never actually agree to it, because it would have made her jealous (we came close to doing it once, with a friend of ours who wanted to sleep with both of us, but she backed away at the last moment.) But I did get to hear about her escapades with other women and always found that to be incredibly hot.