Besides not getting why she's into this...

She likes the attention.

I find myself resenting guys for not respecting our relationship, or worse, not even noticing it.

I'm curious why you'd expect straight guys to know that you're a couple. What are you and your girlfriend doing that is supposed to make it obvious to straight guys that you're not just friends?

It's really simple. Get yourselves Engagement Rings and then wear them. If guys don't get that you are together, them at least most guys will see you're with someone.

"I find myself resenting guys for not respecting our relationship"

Attagirl! Blame the straight man for not knowing you're a gay couple instead of your partner for flirting RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. IN PUBLIC.

Buttons. Ya got 'em, she'll push 'em.

I can understand how this situation would get really old, but please don't take out your frustration on the poor waiter who is a) flirting because that's part of the job, b) way too busy to analyze the dynamics of your relationship, and c) quite possibly gay himself--(it's a pretty common demographic in the restaurant industry and often the gay guys are the biggest flirts). Lighthearted flirting with the customers goes hand-in-hand with waiting tables, and nothing is more annoying than when a customer takes it too seriously.

Girlfriend, step up.

It's not some random guy's job to recognize your relationship, and he's not the first waiter to flirt for tips.

My partner and I wear matching rings, and we get hit on even by people who know we're partners. Some guys see two women as a starter-harem. It happens.

You might be screwing up the opportunity to move through the world as an attractively smart, funny, charming couple.

If you're jealous and controlling, cut it out. Get help. Do the work.

That said, claim the territory you've been relinquishing to random men. Hold hands over dinner, call her sweetheart (or whatever works for you) and by all means ask your sweetie if she thinks she can can flirt up a free dessert or other upgrade.

If she is goading you for drama or spite, if there's really no way you can have this work for you, then consider politely bowing out of dinner early every single time your girlfriend ignores you for the waiter, until one of you gets the message.

Your GF is the type who will dump you eventually because she's tired of play with girls and wants a baby.

Get ready for it, because it's gonna happen.

If your partner's flirting makes you uncomfortable, you should tell her. It's really as simple as that. You should not be mad at the people who DON'T know she and you are together, and you should not be mad at her if you've never told her that it bothers you. Butch up and tell her, or turn into a big steaming ball of resentment who's absolutely NO fun to be around, and lose her because you're a chicken.

Oh, for Pete's sake. As others have stated above, waiters flirt. They do that. They've flirted with me, even with my wife and daughters around. It's nothing to take seriously.

Now, I've never waited tables, and I understand a little bit of flirting goes with the job, but I wonder: Would a waiter flirt with a customer if there really was a possibility of being taken seriously? The reason I bring it up is, I'm thinking the waiter might have picked up on the LW's relationship, and figured it was probably safe to flirt just a little.

If your partner's flirting makes you uncomfortable, you should tell her. It's really as simple as that. You should not be mad at the people who DON'T know she and you are together, and you should not be mad at her if you've never told her that it bothers you.

Exactly. Try to get over yourself.

Would a waiter flirt with a customer if there really was a possibility of being taken seriously?

Well, some do and some don't. I've been out to dinner with friends who have ended up going home with the waiter, but that was only occasionally. Most of the time, it's harmless flirting. And only once did the flirting lead to a long-term relationship. But that was back in the day (B.C. Before Children. Heh. That could also be read as Before Cellphones, in this case!)

My partner and I wear matching rings, and we get hit on even by people who know we're partners. Some guys see two women as a starter-harem. It happens.

Oh, please.
First off ALL guys see two women together as a starter harem, most are smart enough to understand that its not possible, and even if possible not ultimately worth it, "some" guys are stupid

Waiters who flirt well get bigger tips. It's all about the Benjamins. Quit taking it personally.

Lujlp, I don't fault your claim that some guys are stupid.

Some men see women who are a couple and approach us as if we were a two-for-one special.

Although it's not done by *most* guys, I've had it happen often enough to think that it's worth mentioning to anyone who thinks that announcing her status as part of a lesbian couple is going to prevent either or both from being hit on by men. Some guys just use it as fodder for bolder and cruder propositions.

My husband is an outrageous and very charming flirt. It doesn't bother me - in fact, I enjoy watching him do it because I know we're solid and he's coming home with me. It's just his form of humor. My advice to her is that your girl's flirting isn't aimed at you. Just enjoy the show and don't take it personally.

Well, everybody told all the most important!

my add:
Why don't you sit back, enjoy the show, and try to learn one or two tricks!

I'm feeling cranky so I'll give evil advicve

Flirt harder make it seem like the guy has a shot at banging both of you so when your girlfreind is forced to pull the plug she looks like the bitch

This is an old post but.

Hmm...LW, your GF is acting like a STRAIGHT GIRL and you want to blame and hate the STRAIGHT BOYS for treating her like a STRAIGHT GIRL...and one who is engaging or reciprocating their attentions.

You are angry that these men assume that your GF is um...only 95% likely to be heterosexual. Horrors!

And you are blaming the MEN for HER actions.

There is this stereotype of Lesbians being reflexive and obsessive man-haters and boy howdy, you are working overtime to make sure this stereotype does not die.