Sorry, Amy, you wrong about this one. Men require certain levels of respect from each other, and they especially call each other out, if there is a mate involved. This has nothing to do with virginity, and everything to do with ongoing protection. AND ESPECIALLY the respect for both her, and him as mated people, by an interloper.
Certainly drunk guy may not have known, or chosen to ignore the rings, but setting him straight is what the husband is there for.
I dun mean a brawl.
All he has to say is: "dude, that's my wife."
Most men will be apologetic to both him and her on the spot, and anyone who isn't will be looked on with suspicion, by every other guy around.

An honest mistake is easily cured, even now, months later.

I know a woman might not make much of a big deal... Or may harbor a remembered slight that he didn't do anything about it no matter what she said.
She's supposed to say it wasn't a big thing, and he is supposed to make sure it IS resolved.

Anything else IS actually emasculating.

If, after he sets things straight with the interloper, she never again would tell him... that's all on her. She knows what kind of man she's got. The kind that will defend her.

I agree with Swiss if the husband knew for sure that the drunk guy knew his wife was married. If the drunk guy didn't know the couple previously, he wouldn't know she was married (yeah, she'd have a ring on but the guy was drunk, so checking her out for a ring probably wasn't his paramount concern.)

By the way, great title for the post.

Had the hubby been there when it happened, he should have said something. Now it's too late and he needs to let it go unless it becomes a pattern. If my hubby went back and demanded an apology for one comment 2 motnhs later, I'd be pissed at him too. You are making yourself someone she feels she can't talk with, and that's NOT good.

This is a messy situation. Though really I don't think we have the detail to really say what the proper course of action....well...since enough time has passed for him to email Amy and it get posted clearly there is nothing he should unless it happens again.

What was the lewd comment...a coarse compliment (you fill out that Christmas sweater well) or really lewd . How did the wife respond? How did respond in turn? I mean if the wife set him straight and he apologized or even just said he didn't know she was a married woman or something then probably nothing should be done. If he blew her off (Yeah, whatever bitch. You know you like it.) then I think it is up to the guy to say something then at the party...not days later.

But telling him and then telling him not to do anything is the worst. He feels like he is supposed to do something and yet can't. And a lot of women I have dated would have expected me to say something...Why is she telling him actually?

Dammit, "disrespect" is a noun, not a verb. It was once used as a verb back in the 17th century, but in modern English one properly uses it only as a noun.

As near as I can tell, using "disrespect" as a verb is a recent contribution from the ghettos: "Yo, don't you disrespect me man".

Yeah, I agree with M4 and others here -- it's really a little late to be confronting the guy about this. Right now, there's one jerk we know about for sure, the drunk guy. But if the husband decides to make something of it, he stands a pretty good chance of winding up a jerk, too. So maybe husband needs to dial back on the jealousy a little bit.

I wonder if SwissArmyD knows how often women have to field these sorts of comments. Unless he wants a full-time job tilting at windmills, it's time to let an old event go.

I think everyone is missing the point. OP Hubby feels disrespected. What he is doing is disrespecting his wife.

His wife should’ve set him straight. The fact that she didn’t indicates that he’s pulled this macho drama queen act before, and she’s tired of it.

Honestly, if I ever went all Alpha when some drunken bonobo hit on my partner, I’d get an earful and a dope-slap. I can hear her now, “What, you think I can’t handle a drunk? You think I need your protection? You think no man has ever talked to me like that before? You figure I’ll just bend over and let him do whatever he wants if you aren’t there to protect me? Izzat what you think, tough guy?”

Seriously, what’s up with these “It’s all about ME” prima donnaisms? She took care of it. Respect that. She’s just alerting you to a situation she’s already handled, but that may not be over. She doesn’t need you to take charge. Tell her you’ve got her back, if she needs it, and then let it go.

If the guy is a close friend (or even just someone OP sees every day), you might want to cool the friendship, but that’s about it. Sack up, dude, don’t say anything. If the offender remembers any part of what happened, that’ll make him more nervous than an angry confrontation.

I'm with M4; the event has long since gone cold and it does no good to re-open it at this point. However, having been notified, that guy is someone that you want to keep an eye on in the near future. It may have been a one-time thing, or it may be a pattern.

I've only had to do that sort of thing once that I can think of. At a company function, a co-worker was blatantly and repeatedly hitting on my then-girlfriend. This particular guy was known around the company as a provoker with an incredibly short temper, and it was pretty evident that he was doing it to start something with me. I told him that if he wanted to go, we'd go, but that I would make absolutely sure that everyone observed that he was the one who took the first swing. He made some smart-ass remark, which I ignored, and slunk away. He never bothered me or her again.

Back atcha, Amy. I'm a sucker for a redheaded gal in an eventing gown weilding a flyswatter and a bad pun. Apologies to yer SO, but if you were 30 years older, I'd give him a run for his money. Um... also your advice is well rounded and atractively packaged.

Don't want to be too much of a bonobo.

So if I'm drunk, and only do it once, taking two of your parking spots is OK?

Guys say a lot of really silly (and sometimes lewd) things when they're drinking. If I don't feel physically threatened by the bonobo (hat tip Minos), I deal with it myself and will likely keep quiet if there's a bf in the picture. It's boring to rehash every encounter of the night, unless the conversation was unusual or entertaining.

Rarely do these situations require actual intervention from the SO, but in those instances, it's really appreciated that they do!

I see this as pest control. I'm the sort to let small slights fly away unanswered, which is catnip to a bully. As a kid I nearly put a playmate in the hospital when I'd had enough. Luckily no damage to him and no more BS for me.

I hate having people drain my energy, so sometimes you have to over-react just to ensure that they WON'T FUCK WITH YOU EVER AGAIN.

But I totally agree with minos.

What, you think I can't handle a drunk?"

Of course you can...until you can't.

And if you, as the woman laid the groundwork with your SO with a lot of 'Back the Fuck off!' comments, when you DO need him, he will be backed the fuck off and instead, you will be stuck screaming at him for help.

What is really lacking on the part of a lot of women commenters here is the fact that they are not considering the feelings of their partner. "I got it. I don't care if you are upset about some guy trying to feel me up or the level of disrespect it shows our relationship."

Because God forbid that maybe, MAYBE your SO knows something about this guy or this type of guy that you don't.

The lady in question could have had something called EMPATHY and UNDERSTANDING instead of being short and scolding for her SO for DARING to think she was rather important to him.

How rude of him!