Just ask her. You want to go kayaking? Hiking? biking? Chances are, she will do whatever you want to do if she likes you. If she doesn't, it doesn't matter. Forget her.

BTW, you don't really care for her. You care for a person you invented in your imagination. This is the cause of much personal pain.

"This is the cause of much personal pain."

True.

My question: Has he never heard of Facebook? Really? It's so easy to ask someone out these days.

"Hey! Hit me up on Facebook!"

*Over facebook*

"Hey, you like wine? Wanna try that new wine bar?"

It's just that simple.

Still, I think it would be a shame not to let her know that somebody really cares for her.

I love this. Ed, you're not the narrator of a turn-of-the-20th-Century British novel; you're not marching off to fight the Kaiser, leaving your lady love without confirmation of your affections. She's sitting right fucking next to you (or right fucking three rows up and two seats to the right, whatever), so just ask. It's actually a good thing for you that your potential romance is not really as epic as you're making out: this means that the stakes are much, much lower than you think. If she says no, you won't be resigned to crouching in the trench, imagining her with the smarmy newspaper man she claims she needs to marry to preserve her reputation while you're off getting paralyzed fighting for King and Country. (Wow, okay, that's enough Downton Abbey for me.)

You're not doing her some big kindness by letting her know "someone really cares for her." You like her, so either let her know or cut it out before you become that guy she warns all her friends about.

Still, I think it would be a shame not to let her know that somebody really cares for her.

How sad. She's going through life thinking that no one cares for her. She must be terribly depressed.

Better ask her out soon, Romeo. She's probably planning to down an entire bottle of barbiturates with a bottle of wine this weekend.

Still, I think it would be a shame not to let her know that somebody really cares for her.

Yeah, I'm going to double down on this too. In my freshman engineering physics class, I received an anonymous love letter from another student. My response was not to feel happy to know that someone really cares for me. It was to wonder who the awkward person was who thought I was perfect without knowing me and was too chicken to approach me.

Call me old fashioned, but asking someone out through Facebook, doesn't seem good.

I can understand not wanting to ask her out with an audience, but that is simple when class lets out, " Hey Carlol wait a minute I want to ask you something (and if her gf stays) in private."

Holy simpering manboob! This guy has obviously misplaced his testicles and needs a search party to help recover them.

"...it's been difficult for me to find a time to express my feelings." Seriously? He barely knows this woman and he needs to express his feelings? What feelings would those be? I want to feel you up after class? I feel you're really hot and would like to feel you naked?

"...it would be a shame not to let her know that somebody really cares for her." Oh my yes, she needs him to be her white knight riding in on your stallion to reassure that that she's attractive and a man really wants her! Give me a break.

As someone else wrote, this isn't some epic romance. She's just a random woman in a college class. Regardless of how she's been built up in this guy's fantasies, I guarantee she's remarkably similar to every other woman out there. There's absolutely no reason to get fixated on her to the exclusion of every other woman on the planet before even getting to know her.

Even if this guy can work up enough testosterone to actually ask this woman on a date, he's already on a one-way trip to the Friendzone. The only way to salvage this is to ask her out confidently and casually, for happy hour drinks or whatever, and act like he doesn't care if she accepts or not. But even if he asks and she accepts, the supplicating betamale will quickly and inevitably emerge and he will be placed into her sexless orbit.

@Astra: You know how you can tell an engineer is an extravert? He looks at YOUR shoes when he's talking to you. A small step for a man, a giant leap for that freshman engineering student!

@Astra: You know how you can tell an engineer is an extravert? He looks at YOUR shoes when he's talking to you. A small step for a man, a giant leap for that freshman engineering student!

Yes, but I'm a nerd, I dated nerds, and I married a nerd. I am also quite introverted (though not shy). When single, I became tired of shy, insecure guys who put me on this pedestal and then wondered why I didn't find them attractive. "Women don't go for nice guys." Well, my husband is a very nice guy but he doesn't look to me to prop up his self-worth. Nice != doormat.

On the other hand, I take your point. My male colleagues talk about the hell that was high school for them. I was smart and nerdy but I was also a cute girl and that makes a huge difference. I hope the unknown freshman pulled himself together in a few years and asked the next girl out.

Oh for Pete's sake, LW, just ask her if she'd like a cup of coffee! You're already friendly with her, right?

By the way Astra -- have you heard the old story of the engineer, the architect, and the artist? They were discussing which was best, a wife or a mistress. The artist maintained a mistress was best, for the fire and passion a mistress can bring. No, argued the architect. A firm foundation in life is essential, and can only be found in marriage. That left the engineer, who after a moment said, "You really need both. That way, each of them will think you're with the other, and meanwhile you're down at the labs getting some work done!"

Old RPM Daddy: I told that joke to my husband, who is an engineer. He said, "I don't know anyone like that," as he developed an app for fun on a beautiful Saturday afternoon.

Agree it's a bit distorted to think she's going through life with no one to care for her. Bit of projection perhaps?
And then with knowing almost nothing about her except how good she answers math quetions, how can he really care for her? Seems like one could really care for Linsay Lohan as well. After reading all those articles about her, I feel like we're soulmates.
Don't kid youself. All you really know at this point is whether or not you want to jump down her pants. All that other stuff is a bunch of hot air on top of your sex drive. The only way to know if you care for her and will be good in a relationship with her is to actually go on dates with her and see how it goes.
That relationship in your head is certain to go perfecly, until as Amy mentioned, those feelings start to fester and now you're too far up in the clouds to ever come down to earth and talk to her like a fellow, fallible human being.

Ask her on a study date - this allows you to get to know each other a little better. If it goes well, ask her out for a bite to eat or drinks after.

This worked for my husband and I, although not in that exact order. We chatted a few times after class and planned to study together for first exam until he couldn't wait and asked me out for coffee after class. When that went well (we stayed until the place closed), he asked me out to dinner. Been together ever since!