Once a woman breaks up with you, just move on without talking to her ever again.

I agree!! There were incidences in my teen years long ago,lol,that I would have been like the lady here and when we would break up,if he kept talking my first thought was oh there's a chance that he has feelings for me. They never just said the advice that you were given here,and as much as it might have hurt at that moment,I would have preferred him saying that it's over and no chance for us to get back together I would rather him be honest and let there be closure to move on. It may seem hard at first and feel like you are being mean,but you will be sparing her heartache later.

"Hoovering", like the vacuum cleaner, is what we call this-- she keeps trying to suck him back in.

"Once a woman breaks up with you, just move on without talking to her ever again."

Oh I don't know Snoopy, I have some very good friendships with ex's. One of my ex's and I have been best friends for 18 years.

There must be something good in them, after all, if you were interested enough to date them.

That being said, it's best to avoid each other for a short time, at least until hurt feelings die off and you've both had a chance to accept that things won't be moving in that direction, and you've both moved on.

LW, if ya keep giving in to her, she'll keep coming back to "talk". It's like ripping off a band-aid, do it, just do it, do it quick, and be done. No more talking. Maybe a few years down the road, if you see her, you can say 'hi' but she needs the time to get it through her head "it's OVER." You can have a friendship with an ex, but it's got to be AFTER they've moved on. Not before. That almost NEVER works.

I was with a woman for about two years. We both knew it wasn't permanent. When I finally had to leave, she said,"Goodbye. Don't visit, don't write, don't call, please."

She wasn't angry. She was just recognizing that the breakup was going to hurt, that we couldn't be "just friends" because the relationship had been lovely and intense. She was an EMT; she didn't believe in picking at scabs. The only way out was just to go through it.

I thought that was incredibly adult. I came close to breaking her rule, but instead I wrote some really intense fiction. I very much wanted to live up to her expectations of me. Still do. As it stands, I have fond memories of her. Classy lady. Smart.

I'm not giving advice. In this age of sexual freedom, we need to come up with mature, adult solutions to these things instead of the drama of the marry/don't marry dichotomy of the '50s movies. I thought that this was one.

Why do you care that she's decided that if you won't talk to her there was never any relationship at all? I mean, really? I suspect that's just a guilt trip she's throwing to suck you in, but if she does believe it, hey, her delusion, no need to turn it into a folie a deux. The proper response is "If that's what you need to believe, that's your lookout." . Follow by blocking her number.

And I agree with WTF that if you are going to be friends with someone post break-up, there needs to be a hiatus first, preferably a hiatus during which you get seriously laid by someone else for a while. But honestly, I think "I want us to stay good friends" is massively overrated.

She said that if I'm unwilling to talk to her, it means that we never had a relationship at all.

Who cares? You can't change the fact that she believes such a dumb thing. Quit answering the phone already.

She said that if I'm unwilling to talk to her, it means that we never had a relationship at all.

Fuck that noise. Not your problem.

Unfortunately, if this were a movie, it would be the sort shot by your doctor using a tiny snaking camera, with your girlfriend typecast as the polyp

LOL!!! That .... just .... made my morning!

Nicely done :-)

She must be of the religion that believes in annulments, as when an annulment is granted, the marriage is deemed to have never existed. So if she is of that religion, perhaps you could be gentle. However, it always sounds just a tad crazy-making for anyone to claim something that *did* exist, *doesn't* just because they say so. That's crazy-making at its best.