That about covers it. I was just going to go on about forbidden fruit, the thrill of the whole dirty little secret... anyway, what's probably going to happen is you're going to get caught. You've probably left your laptop open with this letter hoping someone will catch you and rip the scab off this whole nasty thing.

You guys are going to hurt your aunt, the kids, your mother, and everyone else that's important to you. And maybe that will knock the blinders off.

Orrrrr....maybe you'll get all "the whole world is against us, my darling!" about it and the two of you will run off together to show everyone how wrong they are. You'll last a couple of months, maybe. Jeezus, don't get pregnant!

Let's get one thing straight. You are not "in love" with your Uncle( he is your uncle, no such thing as an UIL) you are in Lust with him. You are having sex with him, and that's it.

When you are caught, you will be the one blamed. Your family will be ripped apart, and your Uncle will probably be forgiven and you will be shunned.

Oh, and just think about the reputation you will have as the woman that tried to steal her Aunt's husband! Neighborhood gossips will have a field day with that one.

If you care about your family at all, stop this now. Your Aunt and cousins do not deserve the pain that you and your Uncle are going to cause them.

Yep, what everyone's said so far. Quit while you're ahead of the game, before you get caught.

Um ... Ew!

I'm My Own Grandpa - Ray Stevens:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYlJH81dSiw

This is disgusting. I cannot even muster the sympathy for this woman (or man for that matter) to offer anything more productive.

Damn it, Rachel! I knew you couldn't keep a secret! You're just like your aunt!

I think it is interesting how she described him. She doesn't say, "he is my aunt's husband", instead she says,"my mother's sister's husband" as if that will make it less incestuous. This is really gross because you have to figure he has been grooming her for quite awhile. My guess is he started while she was still in high school and just waited until she was legal to pounce. Either way, it is disgusting behavior by both parties and let us all hope she doesn't "accidentally" get pregnant.

Eventually, people who do this sort of thing get busted.

Yes - you CAN make a drunken mistake and then bury it under a rug, and it will probably stay there.

This isn't what we're talking about here. Sustained behavior like this WILL get discovered.

E-mail sent to the wrong address. Tablet left on and open. Burner phone left lying around.

Sooner or later you get careless or unlucky, and then there's a giant mess.

Tell him it's over, and then come up with replacement behavior...

THIS! Come up with something very specific that forces you to get out of the house, interact with other people and feel GOOD about yourself. Last time I was getting over someone I KNEW I had to stop seeing, my go-to was volunteering. Puts things in perspective, and, since you'll usually have to sign up for a shift/event in advance, it makes it tougher to flake (or make you feel bad about flaking).

Or learn a new skill (ballroom dancing, martial arts, oil painting, a new language, whatever). The key is to replace wasted time with productive time. This conditions you to realize that your time has WORTH. You can spend it on a toxic relationship, or you can spend it in a way that leaves you something to show for it.

> This is really gross because you have to figure
> he has been grooming her for quite awhile. My
> guess is he started while she was still in high
> school and just waited until she was legal to
> pounce.

Why would you assume her aunt has been married for more than a couple of years?

LW, enjoy it!

It is not incestuous and the mother's sister is to blame for this.

Get knocked up by this magnetic, charming, a great person. This and the sex will make you smart enough to cover this affair for a long time. Then write a novel.

Cunning. He picks a young woman in the prime of her fertility hotness and who has an equal if not greater stake in protecting his family from finding out.

Girl, you have not just been charmed, you have been outsmarted; you have been had.

And if he wants a divorce, leaving a trail of crumbs that lead your aunt to you is an easy way to diffuse the blows.

Consider shopping around for a counselor you trust, and bringing your mom in for a session in which you come clean. You have a chance to get ahead of this.

There is a reason why "young and dumb" is a cliche. Get out ahead of this now, come clean with your mother, enlist her support in damage control. It will suck now, but ten years from now you can look back on the time when you were young and gullible, and more importantly you can create a clean slate in which to build a solid foundation for a worthwhile future.

Snoopy,
That is a good point and you are right. For all we know, LW's aunt is a cougar and this guy is her boy-toy. I stand corrected.

Michelle,
I think you make excellent points, but I am not sure that I totally agree with you that she should confess to her mother. That puts her mother in a very awkward position with her sister and I am not convinced it is fair for the LW to dump this in her mother's lap like a load of dirty laundry. LW is 22 and not a child. She made this mess and she should clean it up. If the uncle is a serial cheater (as I suspect he is), he will get caught eventually.

" a great person, and a devoted dad", um no.

What's the difference between a great person and a lying cheating bastard: she thinks he's hot.

Quite a few commenters are making the assumption that the uncle-in-law made the first moves. I don't read that anywhere. Young women can be aggressive these days. Maybe she's the one who got this party started.

That last sentence of yours, Amy, almost made me spit diet Coke all over my monitor. I needed that laugh, thank you!

SheepM, I agree with most of what you've said, with two exceptions:

Mom is already in the middle of this, she just doesn't know about it yet. And when Aunt finds out, and calls Mom, I think Mom can be a better support to Aunt if she's already had some time and assistance in dealing with the mess. All the better if she's confident the affair is over.

Cutting it out is distinct from cleaning it up.

To the extent letter writer is unwilling to come clean to her mother, Uncle Charming can leverage that against her, which he might do if she decides to pursue a relationship with another man (and preferably a healthier power dynamic).

Credibility matters, and letter writer will have more of it if she takes initiative rather than batting clean up after Uncle gets sloppy.

Why would you assume her aunt has been married for more than a couple of years?

It's not conclusive, but the "devoted dad" description suggests they've been married long enough to have kids who aren't infants.

Usually these letters contain more information than what Amy publishes. What about it, Amy--did the LW reveal how long she's known this guy, how long he's been married to her aunt, or any of the other stuff that commenters are speculating about?

"to pursue a relationship with another man (and preferably a healthier power dynamic)."

So you're saying the uncle is the employer?

Sorry! Had to do it!

"They have children."

Ouch. The fact that they have children makes it 1000% worse. Are the children grown and independent, or are they young? If they're young, they could be seriously emotionally scarred for the rest of their lives, much more so than an adult, due to the betrayal by close family, and the inevitably bitter divorce.

"This has been going on for a few years..."

So, how many years is a few? The published letter says they've been sleeping together for "over a year," which to me implies a year plus a couple months, but Amy you say this has been going on "for a few years." I'm a bit confused as to the length of the sexual part of this relationship. If this started when she was a minor, then that's a really nasty can of worms, and raises a lot of disturbing questions about the uncle, such as "What kind of freak pulls Game on his niece?" and "What ELSE is he doing?"

This exact scenario created a rift in our family nearly 30 years ago that has never healed. I can't imagine any sex worth having people you love never speak to you again, which very well could include her mother.

I have nothing to add to the comments above, except that I think this is definitely going to be found out. Maybe the uncle will have a sudden surge of guilt feelings and confess to his wife, bringing roses and begging for forgiveness, especially when his hot but stupid niece announces that the affair is over.

LW, you might stop banging your uncle, but you are still going to be fucked by him.

Ppen for the stealth thread win!