I found myself in a similar situation. My best friend's wife had a bunch of really cute friends and she never once offered to set me up with any of them. I guess it would have been the prudent thing to ask if any of them might possibly be interested in me, but I just wanted her to read my mind because I didn't want to look desperate.

In the end it didn't matter, because I wound up with a woman who was younger than all of them.

a. his wife doesn't like you a/o doesn't want you dating her friends

b. she thinks her friends are out of your league

c. she knows he's a player and wants her friends to get laid

d. she thinks he's hot and is living vicariously

e. her friends are the ones getting her to set them up

f. all of the above

My buddy's wife never sets me up with her friends, and I'm starting to get offended.

Oh, for Pete's sake! First, why is it your buddy's wife's job to get you dates? Second, even if she's fixing up that total player you're so worried about, what's that to you? Frankly, it's none of your business. You're acting like a kindergartener who's jealous of the kid who got a slightly larger pile of raisins at snack time.

If you're too shy to ask directly, try dropping subtle hints:

"I'm thinking of getting into the dating scene, do you think I should try online dating?"
"I'm thinking of trying online dating, will you help me write my profile?"
"I want to look more attractive to women. Will you come over and help me figure out my closet? Man, I wish I knew those Queer Eyes dudes..."

etc.

I only set up my husband's friends with my own when they actually expressed an interest to me in being set up.

I'm a bit confused on what is meant by "setting up." Do people actually say, "OK, you might be a good match for my friend! Allow me to set up a blind date."? Or do they say, "Hey, I think you'd be a good match with so-and-so. You should go talk to her."?

I can't see myself doing this in a million years (because of the awkwardness that would ensue if things go badly).

What I DO do is make sure people I think would be a good match get invited to our parties. Or, if my boyfriend and I are going to brunch, we'll invite a handful of other people, including those we think should date and make babies. It's up to them to flirt, fall in love, ask each other out, hook up in the bathroom, whatever.

I wonder if the LW is regularly getting invited along and meeting this lady's friends and just not seizing the moment. And if they never invite him to their parties/brunches, maybe she doesn't WANT him to meet her friends.

When people are fixing you up, the criteria for "good match" seldom extends beyond "you're single, they're single". Can't really blame them -- they aren't getting paid to be professional matchmakers. But yeah, of the worst dates I ever had, most of them were the result of someone fixing me up.

And in other news, milk does not come from cars. Just so you know.

I feel like the real question here is "Why do you feel entitled to dates with strangers who are the friends of the wife of a friend?". Also good: why can't you find your own dates? If you're not unemployed, ugly, or a convict, is it because you come across as an entitled jerk?

If LW is close enough to the situation to know that much about it, can't he just ask some of the girls out?

Lori, I was wondering that too: why doesn't he ask them out himself? Presumably he has contact with them in some fashion, aince he knows who they are.

Who knows? Maybe that's all his good-looking nemesis is doing (just asking the girls out).

Yeah unless the wife is some kind of self proclaimed match maker the friends are asking her to do it. Either the wife is as dumb as a bag of rock salt or she know he's a player. This means the her friends know what they are going in for. It may very well be the female equivalent of the Madonna whore complex. It would also depend on the age of her friends. If they are young 20 somethings they may still be in the I can fix him stage. If they are older then it maybe just a bit of wild oat sowing. They are passed the young naive phase and just want a bit of fun before settling down.

What interests me is the "I'd like a chance with these girls before he burns through them." Comment. So these women are somehow not worthy of you once he has "burned through them"? Not sure I'd want any of my female friends with a guy that has this view. Most guy don't want to think about how their GF, wife etc. got so good at _______ but to see her as less worthy because of it? Not healthy. Before you get all butt hurt maybe take a look at why she's not suggesting you. He's fun and you're not might play into it more than looks. Or he's packing something unique physically or skill set wise they want to try.

Jenny, if he were a convict, I'm sure he could still get dates and get laid. Just look at what went down in the Baltimore jail between a gang leader and some female security guards a while back.

"I'm too much of a wimp to ask girls out, and I get so offended when someone is setting up someone else instead of me."

Is milk wet or dry?

I can almost guarantee that the Bad Boy is getting the hookups because the women are asking their friend to do the intros for them. He's probably smokin' hot, charming, and a lot of fun to be around. LW should stop pouting and start watching Mr Player, and learn what it is that makes him so attractive.