Growing Mold Together
I'm a 70-year-old man, and my wife is 68. I suffer from ED, and we both seem to have lost our sex drive. Don't get me wrong; we are still very loving and affectionate with each other. We just don't have sex. Is this a problem I should be addressing or just a side effect of aging? My male ego keeps telling me that I should still be a horndog.
--Older Dude
No need to pull out the hose if there's no fire.
So, on date night, you have a romantic dinner (early-bird special!) and then repair to bed for some rough hugging. Assuming your ED doesn't stem from some more serious medical condition, the only thing that's wrong with you is your thinking that something's wrong with you. Okay, your sexparts aren't as perky as they were back when Warren G. Harding (or whoever!) was president. Would you deem yourself less manly if you got osteoarthritis in your elbow? Probably not. But predictably, your elbow has probably stopped working as well as it did when you were 22 -- just like Mr. Winky Senior.
The reality is there's much more to physical intimacy than being all Vlad the Impaler -- a point sex therapist Dr. Marty Klein makes in his book "Sexual Intelligence." Touch and affection are essential, and you have those. So instead of lamenting what you don't have, focus on what you do. You might also consider that your level of manliness is reflected in your character -- what you do when the chips are down -- not by how, lately, your favorite thing to do in bed is sleep through the night without getting awakened by the twins: your bladder and your prostate.
Good response, Amy. I would suggest that he talk to his wife before getting the prescription for Viagra. If she misses sex, even once in a while, maybe it's something he can consider.
Otherwise, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Patrick at October 27, 2015 6:15 PM
I'm 61... my tongue still works.
jefe at October 27, 2015 7:59 PM
This is why man invented power tools
lujlp at October 28, 2015 12:23 AM
This is what happens when you put a water heater in the house. Soon, she expects all sorts of other perks!
Radwaste at October 29, 2015 6:46 PM
Viagra can increase his pleasure even if it does not involve penetration. Ejaculation through an erect penis feels better than an ooze-out from a limp one. My wife and I please each other orally, but it is much better for me if I take Viagra. I have not yet learned to shoot pool with a rope.
ken at November 1, 2015 7:57 PM
@"Is this a problem I should be addressing "
I'd say ask yourself if you feel you're going to suddenly 'wake up' in few years wishing you'd spend a few more years being physically sexually active (if it was still possible - e.g. with Viagra or something).
Lobster at November 18, 2015 3:06 PM
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