As Duck Would Have It
My boyfriend just said, "Your lips get bigger and smaller. What's going on?" I admitted that I've been getting them injected. He hinted that I should stop, saying, "You're too hot. You don't need it." Do I really need to kick the habit?
--Smoochy
If your boyfriend wanted to kiss something inflated, he'd make out with his tires.
There's a reason you feel compelled to join the reality-star-led parade of women duckbilling it up -- as opposed to going in for a nostril enlargement. Men evolved to prefer women with plump lips. As for why, it turns out that the features men across cultures find beautiful are those that give them the best shot of passing on their genes. Biopsychologist Victor S. Johnston, who studies the biological basis of human facial attractiveness, finds that full lips on a woman (along with small jaws and a small chin) are associated with low androgens (male hormones) and elevated levels of the female hormone estrogen -- a combination that translates to higher fertility. In other words, big pillowy lips are basically a message from nature's ad agency: "Wanna have descendants? Pick me -- not some thin-lipped Lizzie."
However, there are full lips and lips full of stuff some plastic surgeon injected in them, and any plastic surgery that can be spotted as such is usually a turnoff to men. (You might as well get a tattoo that says, "Hi, I'm insecure!") So, tempting as it is to keep up with the Kardashians, you'll be more attractive to your boyfriend if you don't seem to need to. Best of all, to accomplish this, all you have to do is avoid spending hundreds of dollars to look like you just got out of a heavy make-out session with the vacuum cleaner.
Ewwww
Natural, please.
a_random_guy at November 18, 2015 3:46 AM
Jeez a_r_g.
Give a trigger warning next time.
Yuck!
Bob in Texas at November 18, 2015 8:05 AM
I understand why women get fillers (I'd consider them in certain circumstances) but it's obvious that whatever she's getting isn't subtle. If it was subtle he wouldn't have noticed.
Some women will get their lips done because they lose volume with age. If LW is young, maybe she's after that plastic "look." I think that there are people that like that fake face look- it looks expensive/high maintenance.
I know plenty of women who go in every six months for botox, a laser peel, and fillers, and nobody realizes it.
But there's a difference between maintaining your face and turning yourself into a freak.
ahw at November 18, 2015 12:02 PM
I was picked on when I was a kid for having Anjolina Jolie-type lips, and now people pay money to get them. I wish I could do the Neener-neener dance in front of the bullies from high school.
LW, save your money. You could use a lip-plumping lip gloss for nights out, but really, your boyfriend is the one who matters, right? He's the one you want to enjoy looking at you. And his stated preference is that you go natural. So there's your answer.
Kat at November 19, 2015 4:02 PM
Yes you need to kick the habit. It's silly to begin with, playing with your face like that, PLUS he thinks you're "hot" without it (and said so without being asked), AND I have NEVER known a man who broke up with a woman because her lips were not plump enough. Focus on the quality of the relationship and he will never care what your lips look like.
Polly at November 23, 2015 6:58 AM
1) Quit inflating your lips, it looks like you were attacked by a swarm of bees.
2) Coming from a family of thin- lipped Fertile Myrtles, I find the alleged link between full lips and fertility somewhat questionable.
Erica at December 5, 2015 8:58 PM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/ag-column-archives/2015/11/as-duck-would-h.html#comment-6338069">comment from EricaErica, there's a saying in epidemiology, "the plural of anecdote" (meaning your personal story) "is not data."
The data on full lips and fertility is good.
This doesn't mean people who lack full lips cannot be fertile.
Amy Alkon
at December 6, 2015 9:07 AM
I think injected lips look terrible (though I don't know if it's one of those things that is possible to do 'well' ... i.e. maybe when it's done well I just don't notice ... or maybe it always looks bad, I don't know.)
I seldom consciously think of fuller lips as being attractive ... but if I think back, all my girlfriends, and my wife, all had/have thick, luscious lips.
Lobster at December 6, 2015 3:45 PM
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