I would like to know if the girlfriend ever pays him any compliments like, "That tie looks good on you," etc., in order to set a good example. If she's not doing this, she shouldn't expect him to, either.

Lines like this are why I read you, Amy, "Make it go up and down, and make words come out." Brilliant!

FWIW, it's even harder to keep going when you've been married a few decades. For some reason, it is easier to think to compliment someone you've just met, than someone you've been living with a while. ("Of course I think you're beautiful, didn't I tell you that a hundred times last decade?")

I don't dispute the results, but I've never understood WHY a compliment works when it has been fished for or outright requested. Doesn't that put authenticity into question? Why doesn't that matter to the ego of the recipient?

This is actually harder than one thinks. Just as an example: My wife isn't a negative person, but still, when I've done some project around the house, as often as not the first thing out of her mouth will be to observe something wrong. A place where the paint didn't quite cover, or whatever. This gets really wearing after a while.

I've asked her to say something positive first. She understands, makes an effort, and it works. For a few months, maybe even a year. Then she gradually shifts back to the old habit, and we start all over again.

The same for me. She wants me to express appreciation for her cooking (which really is quite good). I do try, but food isn't really much of a priority for me, on a day-to-day basis it's just necessary. So I also eventually fall out of the habit and forget.

It's difficult to change things like this about yourself...

You guys are over thinking this.

Just imagine this situation as a business opportunity to "butter" up your target for a productive outcome.

After all you don't have to climb up a telephone pole to determine what is needed, she's already told you what she wants to hear.

Just be sure to make eye contact when delivering "the answer".

I think this may be one of those cases where women go out with a guy, then slowly try turn him into someone she's not attracted to.

That may be it asdfg. Something is making her feel the need for him to do stuff he normally does not do.

I think Amy is spot on. He should meet this new "need" w/o making a big deal about it.

I think he should also try to pick up on what's new so he can be proactive if he needs to move on. (Do girlfriends have 'shelf lives'?)

My husband and I met and married late in life, both having been previously married. While I fequently gave him well deserved compliments in the past, he very, very rarely responded in kind. However, after our marriage I have heard him rave to other people about his deceased wife's multiple accomplishments. She was boarder-line personality and when she was "up" did some pretty impressive stuff, though none of her interests lasted for long.
I write this so others might ask themselves if this sort of behavior will make them happy as the years roll on.
I should add to this that another biggy was his resistance to actually get married after two years of living together, despite his originally telling me he would want to get married whenever I was ready, that is until I told him I was ready.
In many ways he is a kind man and certainly honest - - - also extremely smart and funny, all good things.
All said, we are at a stage in life where separating simply makes no sense so I live with the status quo. Were it realistic to end this marriage I most certainly would.

Age old dilemma. How to get the other to do for you as you do for them. Married to a wonderful woman who unfortunately was raised by a Mother who was incapable of complimenting even her own daughter, so...daughter has hard time complimenting. My enthusiasm for complimenting her has faded but I still frequently tell her how great certain clothes look on her, food she cooks, how she decorates, etc. I stopped looking for compliments,years ago, and it has been years since she has done so other than to tell me one of her girlfriends said this or that about me. I am a middle aged man but am still physically and intellectually attractive( I think, but of course am not sure). Men do need to hear their partner still finds them attractive. If they do not receive the positive reinforcement they either just shrug it off to the inevitable "invisible spouse syndrome" or they seek it out from others.I have chosen the former but...