My fiance does this. It is crazy-making, but he's thoughtful in other ways. He will draw me little pictures and hide them in my closed laptop and leave me chocolates on my desk, and he never forgets anniversaries or my birthday, for example. But he ENDLESSLY leaves trash and dirty dishes all over the place. I suspect it's not 100% due to evolution and at least *partially* to do with the fact that his mom actively discouraged her sons to clean. But, here we are.

Two days ago, he walked in with the mail, sorted it and, in the process, dropped a bunch of junk-coupon-mailers on the living room floor. He took the rest of the mail to his office. And left the junk mail on the floor -- and proceeded to step right over it to join me on the couch. When I finally asked him if he was going to do anything with the papers on the floor before someone slid on them and broke their neck, he asked, "What papers?"

Yeah, I think 'sofar' nailed it. It starts with their MOMMY. My daughter is doing it with my grandsons. She does everything for these boys and when I tell her she shouldn't still be making a teenager's bed, she insists they shouldn't have to do these sorts of things and that someday they'll grow up to have wives who will do it for them. I don't know where she ever go that notion because I taught her to be self sufficient and she is now a successful business owner. I've tried to explain to her that other mothers today aren't raising their daughters to become someone's housemaid but...

I admit to not being the best housekeeper, but when I'm around, food containers go in the trash and dirty dishes go in the dishwasher ASAP. I spent enough time living in roach-hotel apartments (including Florida with the damn palmetto bugs) to learn this the hard way.

Let me be the first to call BS on this: Women, on the other hand, do far better (sometimes 60 to 70 percent better) on tests of "object location memory" -- remembering objects and their placement in a setting.

My wife can never find her glasses, and it's not because I move them on her.

Oh my dear Lord someone slap that mommy. Hard.

My daughter is doing it with my grandsons.

Whenever I've dated an extremely messy guy, it always made sense once I visited his parents' house with him and saw how they cleaned up after him.

To Amy's point, I've also found that guys in general are less "aware" of messes that, to me, are obvious. I notice every stray hair and every dust bunny, while they'll consider a room "clean" if there is no visible vomit, dirty clothing on the floor, or rotting food. But those whose parents expected them to clean up after themselves will at least put their clothes in their hamper, make their bed, clear the table and wash their dishes right away. That's fine. I'll clean up the dust bunnies and wipe the baseboards and shampoo the couch covers.

The first time I cooked with my fiance and he got up from the table without clearing his dishes, I was like wtf. When we visited his parents the first time, it became clear he was literally trained NOT to clear his dishes. He feels bad about it now. When he forgets, I remind him (with humor) and he gets on it right away.

Explain it to him using his car's gas tank being left on EMPTY because Daddy always filled Princess' car up. He might get it then.

Yes Sofar - this is mommy related and not gender or evolution conditioned - my sister will leave her beach duds including all sandy towels and chairs where they land all over yard, kitchen, BR - my mom & aunts would follow cleaning up - so act her daughter and friends and her son, they have a maid.

Any guy or girl who has been in the military gets cured of this pronto.

I once reintroduced my ex to the garbage can. I said, I'm sure you've been wondering what this rectangular contraption is, it's a trash can. See this, garbage on the counter, right next to it? That's where it goes, it's okay, you almost made it, it's just a push away. .you will do better next time. Seriously, who makes it to just inches away from the trash? I've thought about collecting and dumping it on him in his sleep.

MarkD: Let me be the first to call BS on this: Women, on the other hand, do far better (sometimes 60 to 70 percent better) on tests of "object location memory" -- remembering objects and their placement in a setting.

My wife can never find her glasses, and it's not because I move them on her.

Mark, exceptions to a general rule don't disprove the general rule. Some women are taller than some men. This doesn't mean that "men tend to be taller than women" is BS.

I remember a bit I saw on TV a few years ago. College students were put in a waiting room for about fifteen minutes before participating in a study, but the real study was the time they spent in the waiting room. They were asked what objects they could remember from the room. It was pretty funny. Most of the men were like "Um, a chair, a table...that's about it", while most of the women listed about ten or more objects.

When my brother and I were growing up, I didn't have to be nagged about cleaning my room because I liked the way my room looked when it was clean. So I would just do it.

My brother's room always looked like a tornado had struck it. My mom would tell him he had to clean his room, but he would walk in there and be completely overwhelmed by the sheer enormity of the mess. So he would pick up a toy and start playing with it.

Mom would come downstairs an hour or two later to see if the room was clean, only to find him sitting there playing. She'd get angry and set a deadline. He'd miss the deadline, she'd come back downstairs and start yelling at him. He'd start bawling, and the two of them would have this enormous fight about his room. This would go on for hours, while she literally stood in his doorway and shouted him through the process of picking up each and every item and putting it away.

Eventually his room would be clean, the tears would be dried, and the slow (or not-so-slow) process of "messification" would begin again. Lather, rinse, repeat.

He finally grew up and moved into an apartment of his own, which was always just as big of a disaster as his room had been. He'd miss work because he spent the entire morning trying to find his keys in all the mess. My mom would fret and stew about this and eventually go over to his place and clean his apartment for him.

He eventually got married to a woman who had never been inside his apartment. This sounds odd, but she was from another state and it's common for Jehovah's Witnesses who are dating to never be alone together and not do more than kiss. She was in for a very rude awakening when she realized what a slob she was. My mom apologized to her for raising such a slob. My sister-in-law informed my brother that she was not going to be his maid, and that if he was going to live like a pig she was moving back to Texas.

So far, she hasn't moved back to Texas, and that was 15 years ago.

edit: *she* realized what a slob *he* was