There is one other group of men who may understand what it is like to give birth--those who have had hemorrhoid surgery. My first BM after surgery opened my eyes to the fact that fingernails could scratch porcelain.

Why would they ask him, and why wouldn't he ask her?? What an ass!

Also you can't bring an unlimited number of people into a delivery room. The limit is typically 2 or 3 at the most and obstetricians and staff have been pushing back on any non-essential attendance because it's distracting and has gotten out of hand. Birth isn't a spectator's sport.

Tell the nurses that your husband is the only other person allowed in the delivery room. Tell your husband you are going to do this and let him decide if he is going to tell his parents in advance or let them have the door shut in their faces.

Steamer. you can ask (not "tell", because if you TELL them they might not listen to you) the nurses to keep all but your husband out of the delivery room. Make sure they verbally agree to this. Even THAT might not help. I asked the nurses to keep everyone but me away from my now-late husband until I saw him after his surgery. They verbally agreed, BUT when I came into his room as he was recovering from his surgery, his ex-wife was there. I was told she said she was his wife.

They said they couldn't remember what I looked like. I was six feet tall and curvaceous with very long dark hair. She was a short, anorexic, blonde to the brainstem turd of a human being.

Maybe mentioning this to your doctor would help. Perhaps the doctor could tell your in-laws. This isn't the time to confront your husband, but I would be VERY careful about how he handles what should be important mutual decisions in future.

Let them in.

Once the baby is halfway out. It's going to be the only time in your life where you can hurl insults at him and at them and not blame it on the alcohol.

I agree with Steamer, I was going to suggest the same without even warning the husband

And while I am not in favor if using sex as a weapon I'd make an exception in this case and tell the hubby should his parents "somehow accidentally" get in any way he can get all future blow jobs from them as well

I hope he does this, because if he doesn't she's going to have to be vehement and forbid them herself, making her into the villain.

When I gave birth I was only allowed 1 guest and I chose my husband. My mom had to wait in the hall.

This is because the more people are in the room the higher the risk of complications and issues.

First, mention this to your ob-gyn/midwife/whoever you are working with at your check-up. They will explain whatever the hospital/birthing center policies are. Does your husband come to any appointments with you? Have your doctor/medical person bring it up at the next meeting he is at.

If you can afford to hire a doula, do so. The doula's job is basically to be your advocate when you are vulnerable and having a hard time doing so. She is there to serve and support you.

If you are feeling up to it at some point in the pregnancy, call them and say, "I am afraid hubby said it would be alright if you were in the delivery room, but it is not. I am only going to have hubby in with me."

You can also not tell them when you are in labor and call them after the baby is born.

When the hell did childbirth become a spectator sport? Sheesh, some people need to TRY to use a little common sense.

When the hell did childbirth become a spectator sport?

Helicopter parents, soon to be the helicopter grand-parents. They need to be everywhere.

To the LW, I'd stand firm on this, probably a hill worth dying on. If you let them get into an occasion this intimate, you'll never keep them out of anything else.

It goes beyond just them nosing their way into intimate situations. Environment and stress can lead to a more painful labor. And labor is already PRETTY FUCKING PAINFUL.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3719331/

Came here to throw in my 2 cents, but lujlp’s comment already won ...

Excuse me, but what is wrong with HER assertiveness?

She is just as capable as laying down the law as he is.

You wanted equality, ladies. Perhaps he was thoughtless but not vicious. After all, we have been bombarded by the media with scenes of huge delivery rooms with seemingly every living person in a woman's life in attendance for the birth of 'Princess'. He might think this is a 'thing'.

So woman up. Pretend he just asked for anal. That should put you in the right mood.

Elizabeth Stuart, The Winter Queen had 13 children and died at 65. This when also dealing with the trauma of an exile during the birth of her 5th child. This was in 1620.

Empress Maria Theresa of the Hapsburgs used to hold court from an enormous bed/throne because she had 16 children during her reign. She was in the 18th century and she died around 63.

Agnes of Waiblingen (1072/73 – 24 September 1143), was wed and bred at 14 years old.

She had 11 kids from her first husband.

Then she went on to her second husband and had 17 more.

She died at the respectable age of 71.

Note to our hostess: The urethra passes urine.

The vagina has a few million years of evolutionary development to spit out living, healthy, babies to a LIVING mother on the plains of the Serengeti, much less on a bed in Beth Israel with 4 doctors, 3 nurses and an episiotomy on call at the touch of a button.

Just wanted to put some perspective on this 'OMG she's dangerously pregnant' hysteria (didn't that mean excited womb once?).

We've done it 7 BILLION times successfully just in the last 100 years alone and that doesn't count the tens of millions of abortions.

She is not exactly tight rope walking between the Twin Towers.

this is important so speak up yourself.
"Sorry John told you you could be in the delivery room b/c you cannot. Only John and my doctor and his/her medical team will be in the room while I give birth. You can see the baby as soon as they get him/her ready for visitors."
If they balk, remind them they have the rest of their lives to get to know your baby and if they managed to wait 9 months, they can wait a few minutes more.

"Steamer. you can ask (not "tell", because if you TELL them they might not listen to you) "

Can you say HIPAA? If you TELL them (and actually they'll probably solicit it from you in writing) and they don't comply it can end the careers of every professional in the room. Your instructions when your husband was the patient are not the same as her instructions when SHE is the patient. Every time anyone I know has been admitted to a hospital they've had to complete and sign a form detailing who may have access or be told even that the patient IS a patient.

Hubby could always save face by claiming it's hospital policy. A lot of hospitals are limiting who comes in and prohibiting video recording because they don't want witnesses or a recording to the doctor saying "oops!"

"Excuse me, but what is wrong with HER assertiveness? She is just as capable as laying down the law as he is. You wanted equality, ladies."

Heck yeah! You wanted to vote and drive, and have your own money - learn to live with the flip side of that.