My kinda outdoorsman.

I totally believe this, except maybe the the whooped his ass part.

Re: 2nd.

Using the diagram below, please rate the probability of this kid growing up to score even a single ounce of college poontang , where:

01 = Urkelian Metaphysical Impossibility

10 = Sintratroid Overdetermined Inevitability

[1][✔][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10]

Show hands: For how many people is the check mark in the preceding item green, and for how many is it black?

Theremin.

Re: checkmark – black.

Error: the unit of poontang is the minute, not the ounce. Like airtime, it is a leased service, subject to termination by your provider.

No, ounce is sarcastic-er.

Also, that should have been "Sinatroid," or perhaps "Sinatrian."

No one here wants to hear about a pound of poontang.
It would instantly be associated with 400 pounds of support mechanism.

I know you do not want to hear about minutes due to prior embarrassment. It's okay. Nobody she is telling knows you.

To regard time as the appropriate satiric quantity is to betray a fascination with prostitutes, Raddy.