Cruel And Crullers
Just posted another Advice Goddess column. This one's a question from a lady who's put on some pounds. Again. A problem for her husband. She writes:

In high school and college I was really overweight. I started losing weight and found a great guy online. During the year we talked, I went from size 18 to size 12, losing 80 pounds. When we met, I was a little overweight, but in my best shape ever, and we were really attracted to each other. We're now married, but stressed, as I'm the only one working until he completes the immigration process (he's South African). In seven months, I've gained 50 pounds. My problem is that he's insanely direct. If something's on his mind, he'll say it. He's now having a hard time being attracted to me. I do understand, and have committed to losing weight, and plan to have surgery next year to remove the extra skin. I'm excited because I know he'll be all over me, but I'm also scared I'll be resentful.

--Shrinking

An excerpt from my response:

For a man, it's the size of a woman's heart that counts -- until her thighs approach the size of small Volkswagens.

Now, some men do go for a woman with extra padding -- not just "junk in the trunk," but junk bungee'd to the roof and hood, and crammed from floormats to ceiling in the front and back seats. Actually, there are about five men who go for this. On the bright side, the average guy isn't into haute couture thin: those slivers in stilettos who look like they subsist on cigarettes and the occasional French fry when they need enough energy to make it down the catwalk without fainting into Anna Wintour's lap.

Still, feminists see a cruel plot against women who eat. According to Naomi Wolf, author of The Beauty Myth, there's a patriarchal conspiracy to keep women dieting so they'll be too weak and hungry to compete with men. Right. Here in the real world, it isn't some brainwashed dim bulb who doesn't let herself bulk out, but a wise woman, assuming she's on the prowl for heterosexual men who aren't, say, Tanzanian hunter-gatherers. Male sexuality is hard-wired to be looks-driven, and research suggests that the body size men look for in a woman corresponds with the availability of food. Where eats are scarce, like in the Sahara, Lane Bryant ladies are in. Where there's food-a-plenty, men go for slimmer women. And yes, that describes our culture, where, if you're foraging for dinner, you're probably not scraping for grubs with a stick, just reaching deep into the cooler at 7-Eleven. ...continued...

The rest of my response is here. With a bunch of comments.