Heidi, You're A Whack-Job
Hilarious comment just blew in, on the blog entry, We Get Hate Mail, about a column I wrote, Burying The Hatchet, condemning a woman for throwing an ashtray at her husband, and condemning the double standard that has people shrugging off domestic violence against men.
The woman who wrote me was mad at her pussy-whipped pre-husband for going to a strip club when he got drunk at some pre-wedding party. Some other woman wrote an irate letter about strip clubs, which became the blog item where Heidi, a commenter, just posted this hilarity:
Im shocked at all u perverts!!!! Yes i said PERVERTS!!! If you enjoy any nude event at all you are VERY MUCH SO a PERVERT!!!! Who cares about visual variety! Get a life! Face reality......REALITY is one person loves the other for who they are, not for who somebody else is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And if u didnt understand that, it means, u have to think about your man going to the strip club, he comes home to u and wants sex, ok now you're doing it, do u think he's actually thinking of u during this intimacy? HELL NO!!!!!!.....he's thinking about that hot blonde stripper with implants!!!! Get with the program people!!!!!!!!!!!! Your man should be able to perform out of LOVE not because another woman turned him on so he could finally get off on his wife!!!! How the hell were u raised? Im soooooooooo thankful my family took the time to let me realize sex/nudity isnt Gods gift, but for your ONE TRUE LOVE!!!! I feel sorry for all yor children.......that you will keep them updated on sex/nudity to be OK!!!!! It's not! When you come to the end of your life and meet Jesus, you'll soon realize the life you lived wasnt the one God chose for u, U chose it for yourself, and now u must pay the consequences!!!!!! Have fun burning in hell!!! Yes, just for your visual variety u will burn in eternal hell!!!!!!!!! And by the way.....there's no strippers in hell to please your inner perversion!!! And another thing, if people would just keep their dam clothes on, we wouldnt have so many perverts and pedifiles in this world we live in with our children!!!!! So next time u go outta town and your man decides to hit up the strip club, wheres he gonna get his fix? Perhaps an innocent child or disabled person? Your outta town so he has to get off on something! Did u know that a man will fulfilll his fantasies no matter what or on who?? Thats a FACT!!!! Im so sick of the phrase "Sex Sells" ....Well people, it ONLY sells if you BUY it!!!!!!!!!!! I aint buying it!!! I'd rather spend my money to put clothes on a homeless child, or to feed the hungry!!! There's so many more things in this world that need our money and sex aint one of them!!!!!!!! Take $50 for a prostitue for example.....thats 50 double cheeseburgers you couldve bought for our starving children!!!!!!! Is sex more important than feeding somebody who has no food? HELL NO IT ISN'T!!!!!!!!!!!! $20 for a porn movie....couldve bought a pair a shoes for a toddler thats running around barefoot!!!!!!!!!!!!! $10 Playboy Magazine.............couldve bought a blanket for somebody who is cold and homeless!!!!!!! $30 tips for a stripper..........couldve put gas in a car for a single mom with 5 kids!!! You think God will be happy with your money management?????? Dont encourage sexual acts!!! The more you encourage it, the more violence and sexual abuse we'll see to our children and disabled peers!!!! Men have to get off no matter what, so lets protect our innocent from the perverts!!!!
Me? I responded with the title of this post:
Heidi, you're a whack-job.
Of course, I should probably add a !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for good measure.
Holy cow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She's way beyond "whack job"! o_O
Flynne at May 29, 2008 8:33 AM
I think she gets to use extra exclamation points because she saved so many letters by spelling 'you' as 'U'.
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at May 29, 2008 9:07 AM
Geez. I got halfway through the ramble before I realized it was NOT in fact an attempt at sarcasm. It always scares me to find out how much idiocy really exists in our society.
Jessica at May 29, 2008 9:13 AM
A blog (and person) I find really interesting is Renegade Evolution. "Ren" is a sex worker, feminist/feminist expatriate/feminist critic. Libertarian I think. Jewish too. Her commenters tend to come from various walks of life, but most tend to disagree with the radical feminist/modern feminist bloggers who strip women of rationality and agency when they disagree with their points of view regarding patriarchy or sex.
One of the points they have made is that there is a big overlap between the radical feminist views on sex and the religious views on sex, and in fact, one of the more famous/notorious radical feminist bloggers, Heart, of womensspace, used to work for Dobson's Focus on the Family.
I had noted that overlap in a different way, seeing a youtube clip from the Music Man made me think that what we see in mainstream feminist blogs is not a whole lot different than the Church Lady gossiping of late 19th Century.
jerry at May 29, 2008 9:24 AM
Somebody forgot her Prozac today.
Hear you, Jerry. Love Howard Stern but am outspoken about equality for women (equality not oppression of men) and people ask how can you not find him sexist? Very simple -- he doesn't judge strippers, etc. for doing what they do, he respects them for doing what they do well. And, yes, he may try to get female guests to take off their tops but, if they refuse, he respects that. I heard Fran Drescher when she was on and they had great fun with him begging and her refusing. Neither one was disgusting.
Donna at May 29, 2008 9:29 AM
1) I am pretty sure there are strippers in hell. Don't you think there's been at least one stripper in the history of humanity that has paid some thug to off her jealous boyfriend? And then stiffed the thug out of his hard earned mercenary money and hit the road? That's, like, conspiracy to commit murder and breach of contract all in one go!!
2) "When you come to the end of your life and meet Jesus, you'll soon realize the life you lived wasnt the one God chose for u, U chose it for yourself, and now u must pay the consequences!!!!!!"
Who said that god didn't give you the ability to make your choices in life? Oh, right. The bible. Sorry I forgot about that.
It must be nice to have all the answers.
Gretchen at May 29, 2008 9:41 AM
Wait, Heidi, I don't think I get it. You say we're PERVERTS? Your point is so subtle, it's really hard to know . . .
Jen G. at May 29, 2008 9:51 AM
I'm delighted to discover that loophole about there being no strippers in hell. I'm gonna get me a pair of implants (no wait, that would be IMPLANTS with a !!!!!!!!!!!!) and become a stripper right away, just so I can avoid the place.
Of course now I can't get Ian McKellan bellowing 'There'll be no butter in hell!' at the top of his lungs in Cold Comfort Farm. The earth will burn but we will quiver!
Pirate Jo at May 29, 2008 10:06 AM
Well, I was wondering what to do about this thing I found via Mental Floss, and then this topic presented.
Take a look at Grace Undressed - a naturally gifted writer who takes my breath away.
Some of it is brutal, but you won't be bored, especially if you know people.
Radwaste at May 29, 2008 10:07 AM
Meant to say I can't get that scene out of my mind now. All those caps and exclamation points (combined with lack of punctuation and paragraphs, and miserable spelling) have caused my mental server to reboot.
Pirate Jo at May 29, 2008 10:08 AM
If I'm going to have invective hurled at me, can I at least have it correctly spelled and punctuated?
"$30 tips for a stripper..........couldve put gas in a car for a single mom with 5 kids!!!"
How does this nitwit know that the stripper isn't the single mom with 5 kids?
Conan the Grammarian at May 29, 2008 10:41 AM
She seems to have an idea what all of these things cost. I wonder why? ;-)
More seriously, I wonder when was the last time *she* gave $20 to the food pantry? Oh, right, she gave that $20 to her church and trusts that god will ensure it is used "correctly" - and she's covered, even if "correctly" means that some megapastor puts it toward another gold toilet. . . .
Does she think it's "perverted" to spend the money for a fancy car rather than giving it to help the poor? Does she think it's "perverted" for the megapastors to live the lifestyle they do? Because frankly, Christ (allegedly) told the prostitute to sin no more, but drove the moneylenders out of the temple with whips.
TheOtherOne at May 29, 2008 11:10 AM
Heh, fortunately for us, there is webslang for just such an occasion:
WTFtrainwreck?
SwissArmyD at May 29, 2008 12:06 PM
Thanks for that, Amy. I have my daily dose of entertainment now.
Seeing an illiterate person irrationally scream with imagined "righteous indignation" can be very entertaining.
I'm guessing she speaks from personal experience, being such a hate-filled, resentful, SHOUTY!!!!!!, shrill that her last significant other fled to the less confrontational world of pr0n rather as he could no longer "perform out of LOVE."
To sum up...
OMGWTFBBQ!!1!!1!!!
Jamie at May 29, 2008 12:35 PM
Talk about a perfect case of "Rambling Nut-job"!
I can't resist the idea that this "Lady" is a poor, no-talent hack who got as sole value her faith in her imaginary friend. I guess her grammar (Or lack thereof) and the overabundance of the use of the letter "U" instead of long, three letters words. Oh well, can we expect anything else from these "Soul Warriors"?
Toubrouk at May 29, 2008 4:19 PM
If she's going to heaven, I'm seriously considering going down to the crossroads to sell my soul for some kick-ass Guitar Hero skills.
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at May 29, 2008 5:05 PM
I have to say that the whole thing's messed up, but nothing stands out to me more than:
So next time u go outta town and your man decides to hit up the strip club, wheres he gonna get his fix? Perhaps an innocent child or disabled person?
That's quite a jump there. One could say that this is a girl who's likely never bored, but she's never likely all that happy, either.
Men have to get off no matter what, so lets protect our innocent from the perverts!!!!
Nor is any fella who might fall prey to her clutches, either. God (and Jesus!!!!) forbid.
Jean Moczy at May 29, 2008 7:05 PM
I know I shouldn't do this, but I can't resist saying:
Heidi (if in fact she really is a woman, and not some radical-Islam plant), sounds like the kind of woman who turns out all the lights, pulls down the blackout shades, and then takes off her clothes under the covers -- and that's when she's alone.
Cousin Dave at May 30, 2008 6:01 AM
Nah, she probably owns a sheet with a hole in it. LOL
Ann at May 30, 2008 2:07 PM
I can't stop coming to this site and articles like this, just make my day.
Lol Cousin Dave and previous commenter, Jean...I can't help this reply either, bet she only knows missionary position.
Nunyaa at May 31, 2008 7:56 PM
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