Hoax. Check the return address. Failing that, she gets to leave, because there's no way she can conform or even compare to whatever is going on.

No, e-mail address is a good one. I researched who the person is on the Internet - real person, with credibility, although I won't say how I know that to protect her identity.

If it's not a hoax, then my advice to her would be, "Run."

Mom is clearly having a mid-life crisis. The son is a bit of a momma's boy and is probably more tolerant of it than he ought to be, but my guess is that over time he's learned that the best way to keep the peace is simply to humor her. I really don't see anything going on here. However, I wonder to what extent mom is going to be able to pull the BF's strings whenever she disagrees with the LW on anything.

Ewwwwwwwwww. Cultural differences aside, that's TOO much "mama's boy" for me. Run far, run fast, little rabbit. Mama is the dominant one in this relationship.
However, I wonder to what extent mom is going to be able to pull the BF's strings whenever she disagrees with the LW on anything.
Exactly. If LW is good with that, well, then all the best to her. None for me, thanks, I'm driving.

Yuck. Not normal, no how! I think Mom is threatened by the girlfriend, and it will likely only get worse, if she can already be so inappropriate at a large family gathering. My main concern would be mom butting in to my relationship, later my marriage, if the relationship took that route. And how she'd treat the grandkids.

*shivers*

Throughout cultures, incest is nearly always a universal taboo. Walking around nude is one thing, but sexualized behavior like the LW describes is... um, NOT something that any culture I can think of accepts as normal.

Run, LW! Ruuuuunnnnn!

My grandmother is 100% Finnish. My grandfather is 100% Swedish. I saw them both naked my whole life. They did this hot tub sauna thing naked. My mother walked around our house after a shower naked. I do it to some extent. Nakedness is not a big deal in our family. But touching each other? Heeeeyyyyyllll Naaaaaawwww! That's just weird. Imagine the embarrassing things she'd do at the wedding. She needs to high tail it outta there.

I've never heard of a cultural norm allowing for ANY South American to belittle the size of their son's manhood, let alone jam their fun melons into his face like a pole dancer desperate for a tip.

Run like the wind.

I have a good number of Colombian friends, and I've spent a fair amount of time down there with them and their families.

I've noticed that there are indeed cultural differences between the way North Americans relate to relatives and the way Colombians (and perhaps other South/Central Americans, but I don't have any experience outside of Colombia) do. What seems overly sexualized to us doesn't necessarily carry the same weight to Colombians.

I've seen behavior between mothers and sons, and brothers and sisters (but never between fathers and daughters) that, in a different context, might make me feel a bit uneasy, but after a while I came to realize that it just doesn't carry that much baggage in a different culture.

As to the penis size jokes, it's pretty common, when a male infant is crying unconsolably, for a mother (or other caretaker, I guess), to blow on the baby's penis (and I mean "blow" literally -- no pun intended). Apparently it calms them down pretty quickly. It's an old folk remedy that's pretty much devoid of the meaning we'd attach to it.

Whether it's a cultural difference or something actually offensive, it bothers LW significantly. Since it's likely been going on this guy's entire life, it's not likely to change or get any better in ensuing years. LW needs to leave, simply because I think it's already obvious that this is not something she can deal with.

What seems overly sexualized to us doesn't necessarily carry the same weight to Colombians.

Thanks, LMM - I'm looking for responses from people like you.

And Jessica, I think it bothers her -- outside of it being tacky by my/our standards -- because she thinks there might be something going on between mommy and sonny boy.

Is she sure the son isn't gay? I've seen a gay son/mother relationship that was pretty creepy.
Walking around undressed, mutual massages, laying on the couch watching TV with their heads in each others laps, giggling together like school girls ... OK, that last one is to be expected but the others gave me the creeps.

Why the big concern to respect other peoples culture. Would it be ok for mothers to give their sons blow-jobs (as it is in certain Asian cultures)if that was the cultural norm?

Why don’t people realize that they can’t change their partner’s family dynamics? Leave now if it doesn’t work for you.

>> to give their sons blow-jobs (as it is in certain Asian cultures)

Call me skeptical, but what Asian cultures does this occur in?

Uh, yeah, David H, what Asian cultures think it's okay for mothers to give their sons blow jobs?? I've spent quite a bit of time in Asia, particularly SE Asia, and I've never ever heard that. Do you have, oh, some facts to back it up?

This doesn't sound like something incestuous to me, but boy his mom sure is tacky and lacking in social skills. How embarrassing!

>> to give their sons blow-jobs (as it is in certain Asian cultures)

>>Call me skeptical, but what Asian cultures does this occur in?

Japan. It is not as common now as it used to be. Do a google search. There are papers written on it.

>> to give their sons blow-jobs (as it is in certain Asian cultures)

>>Call me skeptical, but what Asian cultures does this occur in?

Japan. It is not as common now as it used to be. Do a google search. There are papers written on it.

It may have not very common to begin with. There just wasn't a big taboo against it.

>Japan. It is not as common now as it used to be. >Do a google search. There are papers written on >it.

It's not COMMON there, nor is it acceptable! Evidence of its existence does not imply acceptance.

Oh, okay. If she's simply bothered by that possibility, then I'm glad that there are people here well-versed in the cultural differences, because certainly it's obvious to me after reading several of these posts that there's nothing (likely) incestuous about it. So if this knowledge removes the discomfort, good deal!

"It's not COMMON there, nor is it acceptable! Evidence of its existence does not imply acceptance."

My ex used to tell me that all the time.

Mama played her hand - she will never behave in a way LW can accept, and Sonny won't even try to thwart Mama.

Corre, conejo, corre!

It seems to me that the son at the very least enables this behavior (not locking the bathroom door-- all the while knowing she'll come in) and at worst encourages it (slapping Mom's butt and blowing off all the acting out as a joke).

I'd worry about him.

A friend who just got back from a month in Mexico and knows Latin American culture says women and sons often "have weird relationships in this culture."

"They appear almost boyfriend and girlfriend," she says. "The mother loses her relationship with the husband after having kids and then, the son, in particular the first son, becomes a replacement for the husband."

This doesn't mean funny business is going on but it's on the edge of it.

It may not mean any funny business, but I'd have to wonder how long this would last. Post marriage? Post children? (If it gets that far.) I mean, I know I couldn't handle that kind of affection for long, but down the road? Seems like it's something to seriously consider.

The LW's reaction to a cultural difference is natural because, well, its a difference. Frankly if she doesn't think she can deal with it then she needs to leave. That type of mother/son relationship didn't start overnight and it won't end overnight. If its too much for her then she should leave but at the same time no one should think any less of her for leaving if she does.

The LW's reaction to a cultural difference is natural because, well, its a difference. Frankly if she doesn't think she can deal with it then she needs to leave. That type of mother/son relationship didn't start overnight and it won't end overnight. If its too much for her then she should leave but at the same time no one should think any less of her for leaving if she does.

You want wierd? Yeah, we got that.

My husband is from Peru, the oldest of three boys, raised by a single mother after the age of twelve, and their relationship is not that way, and neither is that of my suegra and her other two sons. I don't know if it's creepy or not, but I couldn't imagine Mami treating any of her sons like that. If it creeps out the LW, then I think that's all that matters and how "normal" it is in another (their) culture is moot.