Sean Connery Accused Of Parenting!
UPI reports on an accusation by Connery's ex-wife in her autobio:
EDINBURGH, Scotland, July 20 (UPI) -- Scottish actor Sean Connery stopped giving his son money to force him to make his own way in life, the actor's former wife says.Diane Cilento alleged the former star of the James Bond movie series said several years ago he would no longer give his son Jason any money as part of his goal of teaching the young man how to earn a living on his own, The Sunday Times of London reported.
If you've ever known kids who knew they'd come into lots and lots of money, you probably know kids who grew up to be aimless and filled with anomie. It's not a nice thing parents do, giving kids everything.
via The Corner
"Several years ago" might well refer to this wretched decade: Ask.com reports that Jason was born in 1963. So a man in his late thirties (and probably no younger) got cut off.
This is a tough call. It makes me glad not to be a father, and not only because I don't have that much wealth to share anyway. I read a book about TV host Johnny Carson once. He was a wicked-wealthy guy, but they say he only gave his sons enough money to keep them reliant on him. They never had enough to start their own businesses or anything.
Crid [cridcridatgmail] at July 22, 2008 12:52 AM
PS- The little brat got to marry Sloane.
(You've got that song stuck in your head now, right?)
(Yeah, I know.)
Crid [cridcridatgmail] at July 22, 2008 1:10 AM
"He was a wicked-wealthy guy, but they say he only gave his sons enough money to keep them reliant on him. They never had enough to start their own businesses or anything."
I'm pretty sure that if you read that out loud it won't make sense. Carson's kids were addicted to money, and they couldn't get it anywhere else?
Radwaste at July 22, 2008 1:59 AM
The circus ringmaster commands elephants with peanuts
Crid [cridcridatgmail] at July 22, 2008 2:08 AM
"It's not a nice thing parents do, giving kids everything."
Maybe, but I'd sure like to be rich enough to be able to...
*Sigh*
old rpm daddy at July 22, 2008 4:57 AM
Warren Buffett- "I want to give my kids just enough so that they would feel that they could do anything, but not so much that they would feel like doing nothing."
There's wisdom to be found here. But it's not just the money. It takes lots of time raising your kid up to understand money (and patience, since it's an abstraction to them for a verrrrry long and painful time). Even longer for them to find direction, choose a career, whereupon you don't just cut them loose. You should still mentor your kid after they've left home, or else they might just boomerang. ~shudder~
Otherwise, you keep the cash coming and you create kids very similar to the welfare moms discussed in the other thread for today.
Juliana at July 22, 2008 4:58 AM
Heh. My ex-in-laws created a monster. Most of you have read my rants about the ex before, but just in case you missed 'em: Ex's parents bought him a condo, a car, and give him a monthly allowance. He's 39 years old. The only time he worked when we were married, was for a few months part time at a one-hour photo place. He's not stupid; he's certified in many computer languages and at one time, used to build customized computers for other people (this was before we got married). He has a daughter from a previous relationship and I was told that his parents put everything in their name so that she couldn't sue him. This child just turned 18, so she is no longer an obligation. He did have surgery on his shoulder 2 years ago, and he does have diabetes, but I don't look at either as an excuse not to work. He does, apparently, even though daughter #1 says he has been "looking" for work. It's been 7 years since he last held any type of full time job, but his parents have been giving him money and buying him cars and giving him an allowance since our divorce. He's lucky they have money to give him. He's pretty much been spending their retirement money for them. They have sold some properties (a house that he used to live in, a 34-foot sailboat, because his father can no longer do the upkeep, he's getting on in years, and a house that his mother's sister lived in), so they do have some disposable income, but what bothers me is what his mother said to me once: "Why do we feel so guilty?" I said nothing but I wanted to say "because you are." They must know that they are enabling him, but they don't seem to want to stop. Better them than me.
Flynne at July 22, 2008 5:51 AM
It's not just the rich. (Though more power to him for forcing them to stand on their own two feet.)
I don't know what the heck's wrong with the 20-something's today. I finally had to cut my daughter off (and should have sooner). She's 25 years old with a 4 year old. And I don't get it. I certainly raised her to be independent and have always taught that you have to be able to take care of yourself and any babies you have. That that's what being an adult is.
I'm not the one who's had trouble cutting the apron strings. For years, I'm screaming let go, for God's sake grow up and stand on your own two feet while she's kind of just letting me know she doesn't have the rent money or money for food and she's gonna have to take my grandson to a soup kitchen. She finally pushed me to where I've said well, you'll have to do what you have to do then. And no, he didn't wind up in a soup kitchen. Shocked, she actually sold some CD's and movies and bought him food.
I'm finally learning to be tough on that, to say that's not my problem. But, believe me, it's taken a lot of seeing that she will not take care of herself as long as she can just kind of let me know she's not making it. It took me years to get to the sink or swim so I can get what Mr. Connery's going through. It's easy to say he's got a lot of money, what's he going to do let them starve while he lies around the pool in his mansion but I think he's showing greater strength than their mother (you think it's easy to not give the shirt off your own back when you see your child and/or grandchild going without) and doing them far more good.
Boomerang is right but I've news for you, Juliana, they do it faster if you do mentor. It becomes too damned easy to rely on you. There really does come a point where you have to step back and tell your kid to figure it out for themself. When I was young, me and my friends couldn't wait to get the hell out from under our parents (and most did by 18 or soon thereafter, very few were still there at 21) but this generation seems intent on staying until they've pissed their parents off to the point where they can't ask another damned favor and wake up and smell the coffee of well, gee, I guess Mom/Dad really isn't going to take care of me forever. Duh!
T's Grammy at July 22, 2008 6:04 AM
1963? Yikes! It did take Connery longer than it did me. And Flynne's ex? So it isn't all the young generation and my apologies to any of you who are 20-something for lumping you in with the mooches. I just know so many people my age with children in their 20's still clinging to their mother's skirt.
T's Grammy at July 22, 2008 6:35 AM
I agree there is a need to cut the kids (or other sponges) off in general. I'm just hoping that some will agree that a hard and fast "I won't give you any money, ever!" is not what family is about.
If they are making there way in the world, but come up short every once in a while (every couple of years) and need a little support, that is different than sucking off the parents for every little thing.
Jim P. at July 22, 2008 6:45 AM
What I thought was interesting is that it isn't the son who's complaining. I googled Diane Cilento and she is Connery's ex-wife and mother of the son.
Richard L at July 22, 2008 7:13 AM
If they are making there way in the world, but come up short every once in a while (every couple of years) and need a little support, that is different than sucking off the parents for every little thing.
Jim, Ex is and has been sucking off his parents since before we got involved. I don't see an end to it, because his sense of entitlement is and has been over-inflated since day one. And his parents have done absolutely nothing to even imply that he should be standing on his own 2 feet. And whereas my parents have helped my brothers and I once in a while, when we needed it, we have all paid my parents back whatever monies we've borrowed from them. Ex has yet to even acknowledge that he should even thank his parents for supporting him. And my daughters see this. It truly disgusts me.
Flynne at July 22, 2008 7:23 AM
I'm just hoping that some will agree that a hard and fast "I won't give you any money, ever!" is not what family is about.
Actually, I think parents owe their kids for life, and not just in a monetary way, but they also owe them not to turn them into giant two-legged amoeba. That's actually part of owing them on monetary/fiscal level - to raise them to be independent and to have purpose in life.
Amy Alkon at July 22, 2008 7:31 AM
I'm 20-something, T's Grammy, and I'm not offended. :)
My parents have more money than I will ever see in my lifetime, and I've never once felt entitled to it. I honestly don't know where kids get that notion. My parents worked their asses off to be where they are. They lived in a tiny trailer and had nothing when they got married, now they have hundreds upon hundreds of thousands of dollars and live in a huge house with three cars and will enjoy fully their retirement together.
I always felt inspired by that-not entitled.
However, my parents gave me one of the greatest gifts I could comprehend-and can't even begin to repay. They financed my college education. They allowed me to study what I wanted and start my life debt-free.
In my mind, that makes failure- not an option. Really.
Homeless in Seattle at July 22, 2008 9:32 AM
Thanks, Homeless. After I hit submit on that, of course, some 20-something's I know who are super responsible sprung right to mind and I felt bad. I'm afraid I know much more 40-something's whose kids give them nothing but heartache and have babies without thinking then we find ourselves being the ones making sure the babies are taken care of and we're tired, damn it, damned tired. Trust me, Homeless, they do appreciate you standing on your own two feet and are proud of it.
Jim, if that were all my daughter was doing, I'd think I died and gone to heaven and I don't even believe in heaven. Family should be there for family as you state it but it also means the adult children should be there for parents who are going to need them more than the other way around in their old age.
I don't know what I'm gonna do or who's gonna look out for me in mine and that scares the hell out of me. People say T will and it doesn't exactly cheer me up. When he's a young man, he's already got the burden of his mentally ill mother to endure. I hope to hell I'm healthy enough not to be one to him.
T's Grammy at July 22, 2008 10:59 AM
A bunch of years back, I was just out of the military, was working crap jobs and trying just to get even with where I was.
I had one car that blew an engine and the other car was overheating in 20 degree weather. I had to hit up my mother for money to buy something to replace the dead one.
My mother gave me the money with no real expectation of getting it back.
At the same my life (and income) has improved and now I direct deposit some money into my mother's account every payday.
Just the way the first posts came down, it had a tendency to sound like they are over 18 let them swing.
Flynne,
Yes, your ex should be cut loose, but luckily you cut loose and let the ex-in-laws figure it out for themselves.
And good luck to T's Grammy.
Jim P. at July 22, 2008 11:48 AM
Hmm, I let the son move back after college. His timing was not wonderful, graduating with a Computer Science degree right in the teeth of the dot com bust.
He stayed a few years, while his part-time job turned into a full-time job. He paid off over half his student loans and saved enough to put 20% down on a house while he was here. I never minded, because I could see he was being responsible.
I guess it depends on the kid.
MarkD at July 22, 2008 12:22 PM
I think it's totally different when your kid is obviously industrious, and doing something with his life, and when his setbacks are just one of those things, not due to laziness on his part.
I'm guessing you would've felt differently if he were endlessly unemployed and sleeping 'till noon every day after partying into the wee hours.
Amy Alkon at July 22, 2008 12:44 PM
sleeping 'till noon every day after partying into the wee hours.
Like that Max Factor heir, idle hands.
smurfy at July 22, 2008 4:17 PM
Is it just me or is the tone of that article like the ex is trying SO hard - but failing completely - to paint this victim-like picture of Sean Connery as abusive.
David J at July 22, 2008 9:38 PM
Connery's son if born in 1963, would make him 45 years old. If I had to guess, he's probably a party/momma's boy.
foolforthecity at July 23, 2008 8:03 AM
sjez
game pron at October 15, 2008 3:11 AM
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