As a child (lo those many decades ago), I remember spending every summer day outside, pretty much all day. My mom never knew where I was at any given point in time (nor di the other mothers), they all just had a list of "likely candidates." This was normal. My friends and I walked over a mile each way to a convenience store that sold candy, along a major road, when we were 8 and 9. We didn't wear helmets. I road my bike everywhere, several miles to friends' houses. This was normal. I had a few structured activities, but nowhere near what kids have these days. And while I did watch a lot of TV, that was the sum of my indoor entertainment. I've lived in my house 6 years and two kids live next door. I hardly EVER see them outside, unless they are being picked up or dropped off by someone. There's a cool book called Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder.

British to American, please. What the heck is conkers?

That said, the only other fault I'd find with this is lumping 7 year olds in the same category as 12 year olds. Letting a 7 year old go to the park without supervision is a bit different than letting a 12 year old; however, there's nothing to say that the 12 year old can't be the big kid bringing the little kid to the park (assuming it's a 12 year old you trust).

I think the car point is valid. I'm 50 and the cars damn near clip me all the time. The Goddamn town I live in for some unfathomable reason doesn't seem to believe in sidewalks. It's Goddamn dangerous.

Rant over.

Not letting them chase each other around or climb a tree? My God! That's ridiculous!

And my other pet peeve about this. I take my grandson to the park (please do not try to convince me he's old enough to go by himself; he might think so, I beg to disagree) and there are no other kids there! This boggles the mind. No kids in the park even with adults sitting on a near-by bench. WTF!? No one for him to play with and no one for me to chat with while the kids play.

I think part of the problem is it's all done through play dates -- in other words they only go to the park with their kids with massive prior arranging -- so the park sits empty when you just show up willy nilly. Wild and crazy us.

Fortunately, I'm 50 years old and have not outgrown the swing set. (Yes, I still love to swing -- but not in the way most adults mean it.) And he loves that I will enter any imaginary world he spins (this place http://www.washingtonavenuearmory.com/photos/washington_avenue_armory.jpg is a dragon's castle) on a whim. But having a grandmother who enjoys playing with him is not the same as finding some kid there his age to interact with. And she tires a hell of a lot quicker.

Fortunately, he does have friends outside of school he sees frequently. But still it'd be nice to find another kid at the park now and then. Unplanned.

Neighbors just don't know each other any more. We grownups nod at each other and make small talk in passing. And the kids go to play dates with the children of their parents' friends and relatives instead of going outside and playing with each other.

Thanks, Monica, you brought back some very nice memories for me.

Of all the sounds from my childhood, what I miss most is hearing mothers calling out through the screen door, "Johnny, Suzy ... time for dinner!"

And hearing Johnny and Suzy call back, "Aw, mom," managing to turn "mom" a three-syllable word.

When our children were growing up, my wife's and my idea was to give them as many opportunities as we could to make as many mistakes as possible as soon as possible. Of course, they also had the opportunity to live with the consequences of their mistakes and the responsibility to fix them.

We were concerned about how they would be able to handle it when the day came -- all too soon -- when we would not be there to protect them and when some of the mistakes they could make would have permanent consequences. Instilling in our children the desire and ability to take care of themselves was far more important to us that what anyone else might think of us as parents.

I do worry some about how today's children will be able to cope with the challenges of life when they become teenagers and beyond, but there's little I can do about it except to say that what my wife and I did worked out pretty well. Parents today can do the same if they choose.

My girls are growing up in the same neighborhood I did, and it's still pretty much the same. They can walk to the park down the end of the street, or 3 blocks more to the beach. They aren't allowed in the marsh across the street from the park, because I don't know the exact wild animal population. I know there are deer in there, and muskrats, possums, racoons and other creatures, but the girls don't need to go through a series of rabies shots just now! Not to mention the mosquitoes, West Nile virus has been discovered here and in neighboring towns, so staying out of the marsh is probably a good idea. We haven't had any major injuries yet (thank the gods), but the usual cuts and scrapes of every day running around.

They can ride their bikes to the center of town, to the library, the harbor, and Wanda's Sugar Shack. They take a bus to school, though. The Oyster Festival is coming up, so we'll be walking to that. We usually walk to the train station to take the train to New York, if we're inclinded to go there for some reason or other. Usually for the Chocolate Show, in November. When I was in high school, I used to take the train down to Grand Central with a bunch of friends, then we'd take the shuttle over to Penn, to go to concerts at Madison Square Garden. I haven't allowed the girls to do that on their own yet, but I'm sure that'll be happening within the next few years. Can't keep them in the protective bubble forever, even though my parents soemtimes try to. My dad more than my mom, but having them around is good for the girls, too, for the most part. YMMV

But, I see a real difference between kids in the U.S. and kids in France, where they seem, more than here, to see it as part of childhood that kids fall down and get hurt.

I know this is a generalization, Amy - and fair enough - but it seems to me the exact opposite is generally true.

Based on living here with teenagers (in NY) and visiting my parents (who live permanently in France), it's the French far more than Americans who are the ninnying nannies.

Was there something specific you saw in Paris?

We were at the ER over the weekend for a cat scan b/c my 4 year old monkey-girl fell off our playscape and whacked her head. It happens. I can see the bikes issue on streets, I know in my neighborhood some people drive waaaaay too fast. And I try to stay rational about sex predators-probably no one is going to yank them from the local playground. It's my job to make sure they know NOT to go off with any adult but family, and not to go near a car with someone in it. I don't have a safe word b/c if something happens to me, it will be family picking them up. We have enough of it around here to be sure of that. It's also my job to let them play.

I remember when I was young and would go play with another kid in a big brushy feild a few streets over, my mom saying she was worried that we'd run into a stranger. My thoughts were "who is going to hide in bushes in a feild just in case someone happens to come along? Like all predators, sex predators will be where the highest concentration of prey can be found. An empty field seems pretty safe to me. Chucky Cheese, not so much.

On the other hand, does anyone remember about 10 years ago, some 7 year old was attempting to fly-as in HER piloting the plane- across the US (or world, I forget which)with her dad accompanying her? She crashed and died, and the mom gave an interview where she said "What was I supposed to do? Say no? She wanted to do this". Um, YEAH, you WERE supposed to say no!!!!! Some things are just dumb, and kids will want to do them, and it's your job to not let them. That doesn't mean lock them in a padded room, but just use common sense. If only that weren't so rare nowadays.

When I was a camp counselor about 10 years ago, we had a "tree climbing class" as an activity. I wonder if they still have it now?

This mostly applies to the kids of upper class twits. I don't think you'd find the typical trailer park rat is too coddled.

In the back of the house where I grew-up, there was a tree I used to climb it when I was a kid. My parents cheered me instead of being afraid. In fact, they even taught me a safe way to climb.

Kids are kids. Youth is not a time to be afraid and scared. It is a time to discover the world and seek our own limits instead of living in the limits of our parents.

Thank you for the trip down the memory lane, Amy. It brings back lots of memories.

I have the opposite issue. My son was born cautious, and no doubt thinks he has an insane daredevil for a mother because I like to use the wacky climbing playground equipment. :)

My son was like that too Melissa...and still is to a certain extent. However, at 9 this year, he outdid me on the rides at our local fair. All in good time, I'd expect!

The children I see in my neighborhood have a separate set of issues; sure a majority of their time is spent in front of the TV, but when they're outside they'll run around and knock on neighboring doors asking to see this and that, come in etc. I know for a fact that I have no idea whom was charged with parenting these children that try day in and day out to enter my home. When I was growing up I was allowed to run wild, but I sure as hell knew not to go up to strangers doors, or even neighbors I knew, unless instructed to do so by the home owner or my parents. It sickens me the way parents in our neighborhood yell out the window once in a while, and consider that "keeping tabs on their kid" they have no idea which creepy neighborhood residence their child is entering all because no one felt it was worth the time to tell these children that strangers are not nice, nor do they enjoy being bothered at 9 am when they work night shifts.
Grr.

The only time my mother ever had anything to say about me climbing trees, was when I was five and at the very top of a 118' tree in the back yard. Our neighbor had seen me up there and called my mom thinking this might not be the best place for a five year old. That and there was some concern about the fact that I had climbed up one handed (I was constantly taking books into trees with me). So she came out and with all the calm she could muster (I didn't realize she was freaked out at the time) she said that I should probably come down quite a ways.

It was a mixture of pride and terror that greeted my six year old's excitement at climbing his first real climbing tree.

That said, given our neighborhood, it will definitely be well after he is seven, before he heads to the park alone. Too frequently the parks in our area are inundated with drug dealers and users, in broad day light. We have also caught people fucking in the park where they are pretty visible from the playground.

I also have to second the cycling concerns. The difference in the volume of traffic and attentiveness of drivers since I was a kid is definitely a downer. Not to say that we won't let him out and about on his own in the next few years, it's just that we are far more concerned about his competence than my parents needed to be with me and my brothers.

I guess part of the problem is that parents are also given vastly too much credit and too much blame for the what happens to their kids.

If little Johnny falls out of a tree and breaks his arm, it's no longer oh Johnny needs to be more careful. It's: where the hell where Johnny's parents? How could they be so careless as to let Johnny out of their sight for five minutes? Or god forbid you get some superhero doctor who decides that maybe it's time we called protective services.

The problem is that although it is unlikely that something bad will happen to your kid, if anything actually does happen, you're going to be screwed, guilt tripped and ostracized by all the other parents.

"...According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's, 50's, 60's, or even maybe the early 70's probably shouldn't have survived. Here's why..." http://sillydog.org/forum/sdt_3814.php

"I think the car point is valid. I'm 50 and the cars damn near clip me all the time."

In the 'old days' people used to readily pop out five or ten kids, so when one or two of 'em got taken out it was less of a train smash :)

Admittedly I'm biased because I love cycling, and am very glad I was allowed to ride around as a child and take that risk (there were rules, like 'quiet roads only', and I followed them remarkably obediently ... my mom always used to warn that she "didn't want to have to come scrape us off the pavement").

I can't imagine not letting my own children (someday) also take that risk and have the enjoyment that comes from it.

I grew up in a wonderful area, plenty of woods for exploring, beaches to lounge on and a park that was 7/10's of a mile away. We all had boats and many of the boys helped their fathers as watermen so they were allowed to take them out. Not to mention that all of us had taken the boaters safety course as a rite of passage. We would go out swimming or to little islands that you could see from shore. We left sometimes before sun up if we were going to try to crab or fish (truthfully just tear up our parents equipment and waste bait - but we would damn sure eat those scraggly 8 crabs we worked for 10 hours to catch) and we had to be home at dark. Our parents had to guess whose house we were in or ride to the beach and try to look out and find us - if they needed something. But mostly they were just sure we'd come home for dinner (and run right back out) and be home at dark. It's amazing how before cell phones all our friends/family knew just where to find us.

But, low and behold, all the people from across the bridge came and built up the island until it was unrecognizable. So I moved to an area further south in the county, where the neighborhood is similar to where I grew up. My six year old and her two best friends 7 and 9 (they're sisters) are allowed to wander between our houses and to the park. I can go in my backyard and catch a glimpse of them wherever are. And there is a river on the other side of the park. And a wonderful rope swing that you have to climb a tree and swing out on into the water. She isn't brave enough yet for that. I had to encourage her to ride this ride

http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u160/dink711/AbbyRide.jpg

She looks terrified, but afterwards all smiles. I almost peed myself when I saw this face.

Dena, she's priceless!! Awesome pic, thanks for sharing - that's exactly how my younger daughter looked when she rode the Loch Ness Monster at Busch Gardens! Aren't they great?! *sniff* o_O

I have remarkably no guilt for getting so much pleasure out that photo. You wouldn't think moms would be able to enjoy their childs face contorted in sheer terror.

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