A thief and a slob walk into a Starbucks...

Sounds like one of those "a guy walks into a bar" jokes.

Having served my time as a restaurant laborer, it takes some gall to walk into a food establishment with food that didn't originate there. To leave your trash for the staff to clean up is, well, astounding.

I'd say the same for the newspaper thief. I mean, if she's going to steal, she should finish the job. Taking just part of the paper shows a lack of commitment to her chosen profession.

I doubt that either of these individuals are "bad" people, just blissfully ignorant people.

One thing: why was it necessary to note the ethnicity of the thief, but not the slob? Either story by itself would have worked, without that information, but the two together in the same article seems odd.

Typical self-entitlement people. They says "Well, it's a Starbucks, they can pay for my mooching". This is for me a sign of poor moral values. If they had a tad of respect, they would have noticed that the newspaper is just another product to be sold. Would they walk-in in the coffee-shop, buy a newspaper and pour themselves a cup of unpaid coffee?

As far as the guy leaving his trash behind, he's a jerk.

These are the people I don't deal with. It is sad we don't have pictures of those ethically-challenged blokes.

One thing: why was it necessary to note the ethnicity of the thief, but not the slob? Either story by itself would have worked, without that information, but the two together in the same article seems odd.

I noticed her when she walked in because she looked so cute -- deep black skin contrasting with her bright yellow dress, and those cute ringlet curls black girls sometimes have. Had she not looked so cute I wouldn't have noticed her stealing the newspaper. Her appearance was part of it. The guy is just another 40-ish tired white guy. Is that really worth mention? I identified him the way I see him (typing away at some cafes I go to, and sometimes, at journalist events) -- "a journalist I know in passing."

I was sitting with my friend Richard at the time, who happens to be black, but who I simply refer to as "fascinating" -- he knows American music ("from the Jews to the blues") as an art form like nobody does. I told him what happened and referred to her as "low class." The journalist had yet to come in and leave his trash. He, too, is "low class."

People behave as they did because they know the Starbucks employees will not go after them -- think it's probably policy just to let the jerks be jerks and not quibble about it.

Maybe you should have mentioned it to the manager, instead... wouldn't you want to know if people were stealing from your store?

I mentioned it to one of the employees -- who I also commiserated with about the plate: "You don't look like the guy's mother!" They don't go after the people there -- it's probably general Starbucks policy.

You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat anyone in a service position. The staff at Starbucks are probably ecstatic to still have a job at all, what with their store closings and job cuts. Anyone who will take advantage of you because you want to protect your employment is plain scum. I've waited enough tables and seen it all. It all comes around eventually, even in a big city.

Here's a good link:

http://www.usatoday.com/money/companies/management/2006-04-14-ceos-waiter-rule_x.htm

I worked at a coffee shop/bakery for a few horrible months (not a chain, an independent stand alone) and the behavior I saw from the clientele (in an affluent and yuppieish neighborhood) pretty much soured whatever tiny vestige of faith in humanity that lurked in my shriveled heart. I have never, ever seen so many people behave so badly and childishly in my life.

One of the things I've come to believe in is the "everything matters" theory. By that, I mean that you never know who is noticing what you do. It could be someone who noticed you and is thinking about asking you out or someone who might have offerred you a job.

Amy, what if you had come across some info that would make a great story but you didn't have time to research it right now and the story wouldn't keep? You might see a journalist you know and pass on the idea, but change your mind when he pisses you off with his slobishness.

A single female friend uses the way a date treats the serving staff as a big factor in whether or not there will be a second date.

Just last night my wife told me some kid was eating grapes at the grocery store. A lady told her, "hey, that's stealing" and the kid's mother started in on the lady, then the kid's father showed up and started threatening to follow her home and mess her up. The store ended up having to call the cops.

John Edwards was right about two Americas, just not in the way he intended.

I remember joking about Amy meeting "Achmed" while he was chatting loudly on a cellphone at Starbucks, and using it as my annual April Fools' Joke.

Unfortunately, only one person thought it was funny :(

But apart from that, I do notice a lot of slobbish behavior as well.

Personally, my pet peeve is people who dump coffee or soda out the driver's side door in a parking space, so that the next person to get out has to step in the sticky mess.

On the grocery store eating thing, we have kids and do that. It keeps them happy while I shop. My rule, only things sold by item price, not by weight. The loaf of bread costs the same whether they eat half of it before I check out or not. Ditto the pack of blackberries. Grapes are typically by the pound, so we don't do that. Just in defense of those of us who do it ethically :)

"...who happens to be black..."

Cue the George Carlin moment...

"People behave as they did because they know the Starbucks employees will not go after them -- think it's probably policy just to let the jerks be jerks and not quibble about it."

Someone once posted a picture on the web of a guy who brought a desktop computer into a Starbucks and set up shop as if he lived there. I guess pretty soon, people will start showing up in bathrobes, curlers, and flip-flops.

BTW Amy, thanks for your answer above. Your description did make for a good visual.

My daughter has worked for almost two years at a country kitchen type restaurant. In her two years, she met Millard Fuller and started volunteer work with him at the Fuller Center, received a scholarship that will cover all books and equipment for school, and got a job offer at a better job at a pharmacy so she can go to nursing school full time. All this because she was the friendliest waitress who has home training down pat. A smile goes a long way.

Amy I read you in a free weekly. Even then you shouldn't take a copy, read it while eating lunch and then put it back. Hurts the circulation numbers.

My pizza place stopped carrying the weekly. They have to move 25 papers a week or the weekly won't deliver. Now I take every paper I pick up, clutters my car though.

KG,
What an awesome story! I'll have to pass that on to Linda.(Millard & Linda are cousins of mine. She's devastated right now and the memories people have of him are like precious bits of treasure to her.)
As someone who has many yrs of customer service and now owns a business that good customer service plays a large percentage of , I have seen my fair share of asshats. The nice thing about owning my own business, is I can tell the Asshats to get bent. I don't need their business enough to put up with their shit. I haven't noticed a significant drop in business either.
Mom of 3, most stores consider what you do stealing. Even if you're going to pay for it, it's still stealing until it's paid for. They don't know if you actually are going to purchase that loaf of bread or not.I'm willing to bet that you're followed by store security every time you go shopping. They are just waiting for you to slip.

I don't think Starbucks cares, esp. after the morning rush. The paper's old by 10, they've already bought the copies, and they're going to throw them out in the late afternoon. It's not worth getting bent about, I think.

Thomas...

I thought your April fool joke was hilarious.

I eat at the grocery store and let my kids do it. But I have the same policy as Momof3: only items in my cart that do not need to be weighed at the register. I am very out in the open about it, and if any store employee asks me to pay first, I will, but I don't think they care because I obviously always pay for everything.

As far as Starbucks and the newspapers, they are being far too trusting of people, unfortunately. They should just sell the papers behind the counter.

"Mom of 3, most stores consider what you do stealing. Even if you're going to pay for it, it's still stealing until it's paid for. They don't know if you actually are going to purchase that loaf of bread or not.I'm willing to bet that you're followed by store security every time you go shopping. They are just waiting for you to slip."

I doubt it.
1) I'm white (yeah, let's all be honest, we get watched less)
2) we are very well known. 5 years at a smaller store, starting when twins were infants (that gets attention) now they ask where they are if I don't bring them. They've watched them eat and grow from not walking to 5 years old. We're moving in 2 weeks. I'll miss that.

NicoleK,

Glad a second person liked my April 1 joke.

I should have included a bit where Amy says she and Achmed are going to take in illegal immigrants, then she corrects herself and says "undocumented workers" because "political correctness is a good way of avoiding hurting people's feelings."

Tom Fullery

PS Last year my April Fools' joke was an article by "Hillary Clinton" called "Men's Issues Matter Too."

After months of lurking in the wings, I am finally compelled to post:

momof3, have you ever complained about the feeling of entitlement and need for instant gratification that so many people have these days? Because you've been contributing to it for years, and when you're adorable twins reach about, oh, twelve years old or so, I believe you are going to be very sorry. Oh well, too late now, it's part of their hardwiring.

As far as the guy leaving his plate in Starbucks, that is quite a serious infraction these days, considering most restaurant (and related) business managers are greedy douche-bags who will not hire enough people to keep the tables clean. That's because these managers want to squeeze every last buck out of their employees, lest they have to downgrade from a Testerosa to a Carrera. And, no, it's not the economy stupid. It's called GREED.

There is no shortage of asshats, even at a national coffee chain. Surprising I know. It may behoove to try wearing slippers instead of trying to carpet the world.
The larger, in fact only serious point, is that we desperately need a professional press corp to keep industry and government at all levels honest. Unfortunately we have the press we have, which quite frankly is worse - in my opinion, than no press at all.
Obama by any objective estimation was an inexperienced, glib politician who could read a teleprompter well. The NYT and WAPO types were had at hello and now we are screwed. If we had a real press, who would demand answers to important questions, we might have a better administration.

If we had a real press...

it is time for people to take to the streets. The press is a bunch of unethical shitheads who spread misinformation and hysteria.

No Norman, it's not GREED. It's called ENVY. Those who have never made anything of themselves want to take down those who are getting ahead. Norman, you'll never attract positive experiences in your life with that green-eyed monster following you everywhere.

You have probably never met a small-business owner or manager, but most of them work very hard to survive. My part-time boss sometimes comes in at 5am and doesn't finish until 10pm. But hey, why don't you get all surly and resentful that he takes home more money than you? Indeed, I often feel sorry for many of these people that they don't have a better quality of life.

There is no way I would do these jobs, because fortunately I'm greedy, self-serving and opportunistic enough to find better ways of making those bucks without working the ridiculous hours in poor working conditions.

P.S. did you ever consider that some of these greedy bastards might have families to support, mortgages to pay etc?

"momof3, have you ever complained about the feeling of entitlement and need for instant gratification that so many people have these days? Because you've been contributing to it for years, and when you're adorable twins reach about, oh, twelve years old or so, I believe you are going to be very sorry. Oh well, too late now, it's part of their hardwiring."

Sure, asshat. My 4 year olds know the concept of "we have to pay first" and why we nibble some things but not others. In other words, they are more intelligent than you. Bravo to you!!

I have never once had a crying fit thrown in a toy department, even though No is almost the only word they here there. So I really don't think I'm in for trouble when they're older. And I don't know how givng a kid a snack when it's a 45 min drive to the grocery, and a good hour there, and a 45 min drive home, is spoiling and entitling them. They're 4. I mean, can't let them eat in the car, they might choke, right? Then I'd be a bad mom for letting that happen. Oh yeah, that's WHY groceries give kids a free cookie! To let moms shop in peace! I don't think they give a rat's ass that we choose to pay for a healthier alternative.

I tried the pack-our-own thing, but given that any food I brought was sold at that store, it's no less guilty-looking, and a pain in the ass. My grocery likes me. My kids are well behaved in general, and quite bright. Something I'm not sure can be said of you.

I enjoy the friendly banter on this site.

I enjoy the friendly banter on this site.

...I enjoy the friendly banter on this site.

I was thinking maybe we could sell tickets...

"I enjoy the friendly banter on this site.
True, so relaxing..."

But sometimes I wish Amy wouldn't hold back and tell us how she really feels, and that the posters here wouldn't be so polite to each other.

Jules55: "After months of lurking in the wings, I am finally compelled to post:"

Hope the compulsion doesn't strike again.

But sometimes I wish Amy wouldn't hold back and tell us how she really feels, and that the posters here wouldn't be so polite to each other.

Such a demure little thing, that Amy.

"did you ever consider that some of these greedy bastards might have families to support, mortgages to pay etc?"

Yes, I'm sure there are lots of greedy bastards with mortgages and families. So? Other than feeling sorry for their families, in addition to their employees, there's not much else I can do.

I figured you were in fact a manager, that's why you got so upset with me on the other blog - they still have forced retirement in australia, eh? Nick feels guilty because maybe he has blood on his hands..hah!

So obsessive, he goes to my blog just to refresh the page - hilarious!!!!

P.S.

If you were even slightly more intelligent than your icon, George W. Bush, then you would have realized that I had already "outed" myself yeterday, and thus you would have seen you did not need to make that second visit to my blog. Duh.

Amy,

In the past, I worked for restaurants for a long time, in all sorts of positions, and that's how I know that in a well-run shop, where the managers are not crooks, a couple bucks is well placed to have someone spend the five minutes every hour it takes to wipe all the tables with a damp rag.

Also having eyes is another qualification for that..i.e. try looking at something other than your new shoes next time you walk into a place.

BTW I find that the kind of attitude you display in your comment above, often goes hand in hand with "don't complain - it doesn't do any good", "don't expect too much", etc. That type mentality has been partially responsible for the gradual degradation of the service sector in this country. (this in concert with greedy managers like Nick, we are in a deplorable state).

Now let me enumerate some of your possible responses to what I have written above (yes, I have you down pat:)

1)"Norman, anyone who knows me here knows that I complain all the time!"

Norman's response: I'm talking about complaining directly to service employees and managers, writing companies, etc...not whining on some blog.

2)"Norman, if I had as much time on my hands as you do, maybe I would complain more. But I am writing my book so do not have time!"

Norman's response: you have time to whine about the bloggers. And you don't know me from Adam so you have no idea of my situation.

3)"Norman, you're too paranoid someone's trying to sneak into your blog, so you don't know what you're talking about."

Norman's response: since you sent me an email saying you don't micromanage your blog, I assume you will not insert yourself in the argument again.

4) "Norman, I would never give the responses suggested in nos. [1/2/3] above."

Norman's response: yes I know, now that I have mentioned them.

ahhh...a new day. Thought for today:

"Any time a cop does good, it can be viewed as an attempt to repent."

------------------------------

Nick should be logging onto his computer at work right about now. Stand by for a tremendous spewing-forth!!

Hi Amy--I am totally on board re: your critique of the newspaper-section-taking. If everyone did that, the papers would have much less revenue. Reading online is kind of similar, come to think of it... There needs to be a better model so that we can support our hilarious and talented columnists, e.g. you.
However--I second Richard's comment that it was odd that you saw the need to mention race. That you were with a black friend doesn't really excuse it--it's kind of redolent of the "some of my best friends are black!" excuse. If only blacks were doing this(basically freeloading), it wouldn't matter because blacks are not a majority of the population; the newspaper industry wouldn't be in the trouble that it is in today.

momof3: I didn't have an opportunity to respond until now. I'm sure you thought you told me off good. Wrong.

I stand behind what I said because I've seen it happen. I'm just an old asshat who took myself out of the baby game as soon as I could, so I admit not knowing the joys of motherhood on a personal basis. I know what I've seen--from friends, relatives, total strangers at the grocery store, etc.

I know from what you said that you have taught your kids to eat from boredom or restlessness. "It keeps them happy while I shop." Is this a learned behavior, passed on from mother to child?

Since your children are so much smarter than me, I'm sure they've told you to wash your hands before you hand them something from some package that has been handled by numerous people before you.

Yes, some shopkeepers hand out freebies. I don't see how that equates with opening up a new package of your preferred alternative. Maybe the shopkeepers do.

You gave me several reasons for feeding them at the store--the long drive, choking in the car, bringing snacks is a pain. How about feeding them before you go out? Considering the distance,it seems logical. No wait--I forgot. "It keeps them happy while I shop."

Your children are indeed smart. They've already learned to play you like a finely tuned piano.

People are all nervous about race and thus get freaked out if you describe somebody as black.

Same way about gays, country of origin, or anything else these days. It's really easy for me to spin up my lesbian cousin in Orlando, all I do is say, "so-and-so is gay". In fact whenever we get into an argument about something and she is winning, then out of nowhere I just say the word "gay" to get the better of her.

It's really easy to push peoples' buttons with this shit. It's not to hard to think of ways to use it to your advantage in certain situations, provided that at all times you know who's within earshot.

Norman, it's a bit like whenever you are losing an argument with me you invariably pull out the "Nick loves Bush" line. Then when you are losing the argument big time, it becomes "Nick secretly wants to kiss Bush's butt".

It must be enormously satisfying to know that while you can't win a logical debate for shit, you have enough peurile jibes to throw back at your opponent.

While you enjoy baiting people, I've noticed that you tend to be thin-skinned and easy to offend yourself. Like whenever someone says anything critical of baby boomers, you become shrill and defensive about it. Or if I say anything critical of government spending or welfare-type policies, you get annoyed about it (probably because you live off some kind of government benefits, so you see it automatically as a personal put-down).

The funny thing is that if someone is really thin-skinned and precious, you don't have to try to bait them because they will find things to get offended about anyway.

In the past I have refrained from pushing your buttons too much, but now that you are clearly not willing to extend the same courtesy to me then screw you.