Welcome To Thugville: Population One
Meet "The Underparented Child," all growed up. Well, in form, anyway.
It's 9:40 Friday morning, the day after everybody's been out all night on New Year's Eve, and a white guy, early 20s, parks his tricked-out pickup across from a row of houses, opens the doors and turns on the megabass. Super-loud. Like, it shakes the foundation of my house loud.
He then proceeds to clean out his truck, change his clothes, and hang out a little. All to a booming base line.
I called the cops with a noise complaint (and my neighbors probably did, too), but the police couldn't get here before he strolled off, so I left him a little love note on his thugmobile.
Here's the text of the note:
You low-rent thug. What was your mother off doing when she was supposed to be teaching you manners? Did you not have a daddy in the house to teach you that you're not the only person in the world and that you need to be considerate of other people?It's Sunday morning, the day after New Year's, and people are sleeping. Yet, you park your thugmobile across from a row of houses, open your thugmobile doors, and play booming music. We called the cops with a noise complaint on you -- they couldn't get here before you took off. We hope to have them get you when you leave. They have your description, your license plate number, and a description of your thugmobile.
Maybe go in for some manners retraining. The root of manners is empathy. That means having concern for others outside yourself. Babies are only concerned with themselves. You behave like an infant who shaves, one who never had proper parenting.
Grow up. Learn some manners.
For the record, the cops aren't going to search the streets over a noise code violation (I mean, come on, they don't even have the time or resources to catch serious criminals). But, this guy didn't think twice about baboom-bass-ing a neighborhood out of its beds; he's probably not going to put the cop-job reality thing together, either.
Quite frankly, if you're a loud, rude, narcissistic jerk, you deserve to worry that the cops are after you. Maybe you'll never give a bent monkey turd about anybody but yourself, but maybe the fear of getting hassled by the cops for it in my neighborhood will lead you to act a little more like you do.
Sorry you didn't get a picture of the offender himself. Especially when he was changing clothes.
Patrick at January 2, 2010 4:08 AM
It'll be nice once someone invents a small emp gun with a small focused blast radius
lujlp at January 2, 2010 4:53 AM
Let the air out of several tires. Too bad you cannot get him towed.
Steve in Tulsa at January 2, 2010 5:22 AM
LA folks are just silly. Here in Philly a nice keying is the solution to such boorish behavior.
Scott at January 2, 2010 8:57 AM
I've often thought it would be fun to have a stack of outrageously offensive bumper stickers on hand for just such occasions. You know, something that would make everyone who read it loathe the owner of the car. Maybe a variety pack, to offend several different groups. Just think of the fun that could ensue between the time you affix it to the bumper, and the time the owner discovers it.
Walter Moore at January 2, 2010 9:02 AM
@luljp -- if you needed to know about that, someone would have briefed you.
hijack
I spent the break getting treatment for a sudden cellulitis - leg turned streaky, with exotic colors. All fine now.
The TV in the hospital room was part of a vile business model. An outfit called GetWellNetwork (logo, no shit, is a smily) bought my eyeballs from the hospital, sold them back as captives for mandatory health videos, and provided a subset cable service. Including MSNBC and CNN, but skipping Fox. Oh yeah, and movie downloads that occasionally worked but mostly not. I got to pay $10/day for this wonderful package.
They also provided partial, censored Web access. Available through a broken Firefox, I'm gonna follow up on their free software licensing violations. Skanky business model all the way through.
But the reason I'm reporting here is, Amy is blocked. No explanation, no recourse, no place even to register a complaint. The smiley fascists pointed at the hospital, the hospital pointed at the smily fascists. No Amy.
I was jonesing, except for the junk. Mmmm. Finally I get it about junkies. I'm glad I got out of there before the 4 hour dilaudid rhythm got to be beyond interesting, to, say, important. It was like a happy little signpost, "Abyss this way, all welcome".
But I missed y'all. Can any of you think of a way to lean on these clowns & get Amy unblocked, that future patients need not submit to - whatever that was?
--
phunctor
phunctor at January 2, 2010 9:02 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/01/02/welcome_to_thug.html#comment-1686126">comment from ScottScott, that would make me the thug, and I'm no thug. I'm hostile, but I know that I have no right to harm another person or their property.
Also, regarding the desire to bash on LA by declaring "LA folks" some mono-minded just silly group -- I'm from Michigan, so is my boyfriend, my neighbors are both from Texas, etc.
You gotta love a guy who sings the praises of keying somebody's car.
Amy Alkon at January 2, 2010 9:04 AM
Sez Ms. Alkon, "...I'm from Michigan, so is my boyfriend..."
Of course, Ms. Alkon, we know you're a good Midwestern lady, but you've lived in LA long enough to get poked fun at. Heck, I grew up in Ohio, but have lived in Virginia long enough to be regarded as either a Beltway Wonk (which I guess I am) or a hick (which I guess I am, too).
Don't know what I would do about the loud music. We haven't had much trouble with that since the neighbors two doors down moved away a couple of years ago. I like Walter Moore's bumper sticker idea, but would suggest making them magnetic, so as not to cause any damage to the paint. A colorful "I'm a rude, rude dickweed" sticker might be just as effective as a typed note.
Phunctor, I feel for you on the hospital issue. I think they had the same setup in my youngest daughter's room when she had her back worked on in September. The dang thing didn't work at all, and polite requests to the nurse didn't change that. My daughter, in considerable pain despite morphine, finally went into full-on bitch mode in front of my wife, which sent my wife down the hall to throttle whoever seemed throttle-able. The system came up quickly after that. We didn't even bother with the web, sticking with Disney Channel pretty much all the time.
old rpm daddy at January 2, 2010 9:44 AM
Hey man, don't be mean. I didn't bash - my point was and is that in certain cultures one doesn't see that problem because of the immediate and severe negative reaction from others.
As for making you the thug, I disagree completely. Self-help in the face of unacceptable behavior does not make one a thug. The thug is the one who initiates the violation of the rights of others. Certainly keying the car is illegal, but what is your solution if the guy keeps doing it night after night - say for five minutes every night and police never respond within that time? Is it ever okay in your view to do something about it beyond suing in civil court?
Scott at January 2, 2010 10:01 AM
@Scott: "Is it ever okay in your view to do something about it beyond suing in civil court?"
Maybe, but if your goal is to get a jerk to stop being one, I'm not sure keying his car would do it. You might get in a fight, though, and then you get to worry about whether he's any good at fighting or whether he's better armed than you are.
I dunno -- maybe shaming him would work. Would it be possible, if the jerk returns, to organize all the neighbors to come outside and scold him to embarass him out of his rudeness?
old rpm daddy at January 2, 2010 10:20 AM
Amy, I feel for you about the "Thugville" guy with no compassion for those trying to sleep in. You don't have to have an uber-boombox to annoy your neighbors; we live in a garden apartment in a suburban area, and our bedroom window faces our building's parking lot. I'm amazed at the number of young (and even not-so-young) people who hang out in our parking lot, jabbering away at the top of their lungs, as if the lot were their own personal patio. Luckily, our apartment complex management is good about responding to complaints; still, I'm half-tempted to buy another copy of your book to toss at any jerks who still don't grok the whole "considerations for others" thing. And hey, Phunctor, sorry to hear about your hospital experience. Back in 1996, when our daughter was born at NYU Medical Center, I ended up needing an emergency C-section, so baby and I were in the hospital longer than anticipated. We were lucky, TV-wise; we had a choice of Turner Classic Movies (still in its own infancy) and a kid-friendly movie channel that happened to be showing the original 101 DALMATIANS 24/7. A pal quipped, "Is it really in good taste to keep showing a movie about kidnapped puppies to a patient who's just had a baby?" :-)
DorianTB at January 2, 2010 10:28 AM
Amy, didn't you write the note saying FRIDAY morning? I guess I don't understand here if you know when the thug is coming back?
Otherwise, as an apartment dweller for now, I completely relate with the events related here.
Willa at January 2, 2010 10:43 AM
It was Friday morning. He treated us all to his "music," changed, hung out, and cleaned out his truck while doing it, then left his truck parked where it was and strolled off. The truck was parked there all day.
Amy Alkon at January 2, 2010 11:11 AM
I dunno -- maybe shaming him would work. Would it be possible, if the jerk returns, to organize all the neighbors to come outside and scold him to embarass him out of his rudeness?
Did the best I could. All day, as his truck was parked there, there were two large-text notes on it -- one on the windshield and one tucked under the truck bed lip where you see it in the photo.
Chances are, this isn't his first time in the neighborhood, it's a tricked out truck, and people probably know it's his. Well, there was a little typing paper billboard with nice big text on it all day about exactly the kind of guy he is.
Of all mornings, New Year's morning. Jeez. My neighbors kept their kids playing in the house much of the day so as not to disturb all the people sleeping off hangovers in the apartments next door to us.
Amy Alkon at January 2, 2010 11:14 AM
I would swear you just encountered my neighbor, known fondly in the neighborhood as NfH (Neighbor from Hell). We live in a quiet, rural area outside of LA. People move here to be in a quiet rural area. This guy moved in, and suddenly we have horrible loud music blasting every night, we have drunk people standing and walking in the streets - one night someone puked on my lawn. After we tried to talk nicely to him, and it didn't work, the whole street had to band together, form a committee, set up a phone tree, etc. and come down on him hard, as a group. We called the cops every single night, every hour. We bought a sound meter and recorded the decibel level at our houses. We videoed the drunk people in the street and reported them for drunk driving the minute they got in their cars. It was horrible, and took over a year, but finally he got the message. Or at least part of it. He knows he's the most hated man in the neighborhood, but he doesn't seem to really understand why his behavior is so offensive. He behaves himself now only due to fear of punishment, not because he has realized that he was acting like a jerk.
maryellen at January 2, 2010 2:48 PM
Woofer seeking missiles would work.
BTW, EMP projectors are viable but you'll have to build one yourself. Destabilized LCR circuits can produce multi-megawatt pulses which can be coupled into antennas, conic sections or horns for very directional effects. Unfortunately a car body is mostly metal so it is effective shielding.
parabarbarian at January 2, 2010 3:50 PM
"I'm from Michigan, so is my boyfriend, "
If he, then, is a Michigander, does that make you a Michigoose?
(ducking and running while trying to keep tongue still in cheek)
BlogDog at January 2, 2010 5:59 PM
Thanks for sharing, Amy! This story meshes well with the others in your book. I've just started reading it but am already feeling energized to do similar things to what you have. And like you, I ALWAYS have a camera with me!!
Robert W. (Vancouver) at January 2, 2010 8:13 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/01/02/welcome_to_thug.html#comment-1686198">comment from Robert W. (Vancouver)Thanks, Robert W...that's so great to hear!
Amy Alkon at January 2, 2010 9:01 PM
Ever notice that people with the best car stereos have the worst taste in music?
Patrick at January 2, 2010 10:42 PM
There was a guy that would get his boom-boom on in an apartment complex I lived in, and he also loved to screech out of the place in order to see how many car alarms he could set off. He had one of those tin-can things attached to his muffler and he was very proud of it. Many of us complained about it but the property managers seemed not to care. So I recorded it one time and also took a picture of a three year old girl that was walking out of the breezeway right over the tracks he left on one of his little burn outs. I brought this to the property managers, they thanked me for pointing out the risk and the irritation (my recorder was cheap and made it sound 3x as bad as it was). Soon thereafter, the property managers got back to me... he was not a tenant, he has someone's boyfriend and had thusly been banned from the complex. When he didn't obey, they gave the girlfriend written notice, and she was soon evicted.
Same complex: We had new neighbors move in, a group of young somethings, that played thump thump music all night long, and sleep during the day. Don't get me wrong, I love music, but at the right time and place. My husband and I are early birds during the work-week, they were night birds. I asked them repeatedly to turn it down, but alas, that thumping kept coming right thru the cheap walls.
What offenders don't realize when they do these things, is that while you are laying there involuntarily awake and upset about it, the best thing to do is spend that time (wisely) thinking of ways to fix it. That's what I do.
So one morning, we moved our Klipsch sound system into the bedroom and turned on what we figured would be the most offensive music to them: Country. (please note, we didn't have a neighbor on the other side, and our downstairs neighbors were friends and collaborated with us). I then faced the speakers directly against the wall of their bedroom, turned it up distracting level, and left for work (at 530am).
We only had to do this twice. From then on, they were very nice about turning off their music after 10pm. Or earlier if we asked.
TT at January 3, 2010 8:12 AM
"Ever notice that people with the best car stereos have the worst taste in music?"
I don't think those stereos are all that good. They are usually sharply tuned to a specific bass note to make them sound loud with that type of music (usually rap). I used to travel a lot for business, and I spent a lot of time in rental cars. I remember getting one once, and the guy who had cleaned the car had left the radio on a rap station and had the bass turned all the way up, and it was boom-booming impressively. But when I put a pipe organ disc in the CD player, the system totally fell apart. It was incapable of reproducing the pipe organ bass without distortion, even at a volume so low I could barely hear it over the road noise.
Cousin Dave at January 3, 2010 9:05 AM
I have a next-door neighbor who loves to crank the car stereo while he hangs out with his buddies drinking beer and working on his truck.
I've never complained, though, because his taste in music is impeccable. :)
Melissa G at January 3, 2010 10:18 AM
@Melissa: Do you live in Arlen, Texas? Is his name Hank Hill?
Robin at January 3, 2010 10:48 AM
Amy, did you consider ASKING him to turn the music down? It's possible he did not realize he was giving offense.
At this point, it's still not to late to provide an example of courteous behavior. You can take down your previous note and put up another one that's more informative and less attacking.
Stephanie at January 3, 2010 12:50 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/01/02/welcome_to_thug.html#comment-1686303">comment from StephanieAmy, did you consider ASKING him to turn the music down? It's possible he did not realize he was giving offense. At this point, it's still not to late to provide an example of courteous behavior. You can take down your previous note and put up another one that's more informative and less attacking.
Stephanie, the police themselves told me not to go out and talk to people who behave thuggishly in my neighborhood.
And sorry, if you are THAT big an asshole that you play thumpa-thumpa-boom music across from houses with your pickup truck doors open on a Sunday morning...
What's next? As I ask in my book, do we have to instruct people to use the bathroom when they have to take a pee, and not do it on the side of the display case or in the middle of the restaurant floor?
Amy Alkon at January 3, 2010 3:43 PM
Before 10am and after 8pm it is sinful to be this loud. The rest of the day it is merely rude and obnoxious. That idea that these loud asses need to be told they are rude is beyond ludicrus. They bought the big ass bass thumpers knowing they would be irritating 90% of the people who hear the thumping bass whatever time of day it is. These asses need tires sliced or to be towed away. They already know how rude they are. If you let the air out he won't park here again. Nothing could be ruder than forcing very bad taste in music on others no matter what time it is. An old parent may be ringing a bell for help. A mother may be trying to hear her baby monitor. A nice person may be privately trying to hear their own choice of music but they are not allowed to hear it because some ass has to publicly ruin their own hearing and spoil everyone else's day.
Rap is not even music. It is nothing more than a gang recitations of thuggery and brutality to women.
Steve In Tulsa at January 4, 2010 8:32 AM
Hi Amy:
Here's a book I thought you might find interesting:
http://www.amazon.com/NurtureShock-New-Thinking-About-Children/dp/0446504122/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1262624406&sr=8-1
Olga at January 4, 2010 9:01 AM
Letting the air out of his tires would be ungracious, offending even Miss Manners herself. Now, if it just so happened that someone removed his valve stems [valve stem puller] and replaced the valve caps quickly, the tires would stay plump and firm until he drove off,hit the first l'il bump and blew the suckers off, instantly flattening all four tires .. but that would be sooooo wrong .... I'm just sayin', is all...
[Willa - I also caught the "Sunday' in the note in lieu of "Friday"]
Mr. Teflon at January 4, 2010 11:35 AM
Better yet, post his name, address, and phone number and watch the fun begin.
ParatrooperJJ at January 6, 2010 12:44 PM
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