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April 10, 2010

Good Reading For Doormats
Who'd like to retire from being walked on.

The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused and Start Standing Up for Yourself. I found stuff that made me go ugh in the book, but it's basically pretty good. Oh, and I got it in the mail from Wiley the other day, free. I'm supposed to say that, thanks to some twits in our government, but I don't recommend books because I get them free (you don't see me recommending Deepak Chopra's, which I also got free), but because they have value.

Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship. Terrific book, and a pretty fun read.

No More Mr. Nice Guy! Terrific book for men, or, rather, guys who'd like to figure out where they lost their balls, and find them, and snap them back on. By Dr. Robert Glover, a former "nice guy" himself.

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. Terrific handbook for living, for getting to the point where you have self-respect and act accordingly, by Nathaniel Branden.

Finally, there's my book, I See Rude People: One woman's battle to beat some manners into impolite society, which seems to be inspiring people (according to the mail I get), to not act like victims when somebody tries to victimize them.

Share | Comments (6)



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Comments

I read (and re-read several times) No More Mr. Nice Guy! on Amy's recommendation and it has helped me tremendously.

I'll try to read The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem soon.

Snoopy at April 10, 2010 8:11 AM

Here comes the shortest (single) chapter of your quest. Snoopster: Self-esteem comes from doing estimable thing.

Saved you five chapters and a visit to the library, just like that.

Crid [CridComment at gmail] at April 10, 2010 11:51 PM

Author Profile Page

Amy Alkon

http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/04/10/good_reading_fo.html#comment-1707642">comment from Crid [CridComment at gmail]

Crid, smug doesn't suit you. Read Branden's book before you think you know you're saving people a trip to the library or bookstore.

Amy Alkon Author Profile Page at April 11, 2010 1:52 AM

Six pillars! Such a specific number! Self-help voodoo, I allege.

Crid [CridComment at gmail] at April 11, 2010 11:39 PM

Author Profile Page

Amy Alkon

http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/04/10/good_reading_fo.html#comment-1707783">comment from Crid [CridComment at gmail]

Actually, I recommend this book without reservation, cover to cover. Numbering on book titles is just a convention of publishing. The six pillars here are the following:

1. The practice of living consciously
2. The practice of self-acceptance
3. The practice of self-responsibility
4. The practice of self-assertiveness
5. The practice of living purposefully
6. The practice of personal integrity

Pick up a copy. It's great.

Amy Alkon Author Profile Page at April 11, 2010 11:56 PM

Like I said!

Why do simple things need to be made complicated?

Back during the not-very-great years, Saturday Night Live had a skit about this. And I've tried to discuss this before... Once people discover that they've found a vein of truth, they try to mine all sorts of other ores from the nearby soil, for no reason but that it's convenient since they're already carrying the shovel and everything.

I hate your list, each item of which is grandiose and faux-poetic to the point of being borderline sarcastic. Maybe each of those things is a virtue when viewed on its own terms and in its own context. But bringing them into a discussion of self-respect (which, I affirm, should never take more than 15 seconds) demonstrates the endless, coddling neediness typified by the tastes of the eager self-help consumer.

Crid [CridComment at gmail] at April 13, 2010 9:16 AM

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