I'm moving to Orlando to be with my fiance. He's got his dream job down there. I hate the heat, I hate ugliness of the area, and I hate the fact I'm leaving behind museums, concert halls, and a proper city with history. In exchange I'm getting the house of mouse, tourists, and off-the-charts humidity.

But damn do I really love that boy.

I wouldn't move to certain countries (Amy I'm sure you can guess which ones :-))...and it would take a lot for me to move anywhere cold...love and money maybe. :-)

I've never been to Omaha but I live in another Midwestern city a 1/2 day drive from Detroit. There is definitely culture and some sports here but not what one finds in NYC, Chicago, etc. The people are a mix of liberals, conservatives and in-betweens, & are pretty open, for the most part.

The weather is not as nice as LA's. It's often cold and/or crappy in winter. But, the cost of living is much lower than NYC, LA, SF, etc. You can live cheap but decently here. You don't have to pay a lot to park downtown. The earth beneath one's feet is dependably stable, and hurricanes don't make it here.

It makes for a pretty good compromise. And while I understand why many might dislike an area like metro Detroit, states like Michigan, Wisconsin, Ohio and Indiana are very pleasant in summer. People who like to hunt, fish, camp, or enjoy water sports are a lot better off in Michigan than in places like S. California. It amounts to what you like.

I have a sister in Orlando, and 23 years ago I didn't like that area, either. Likewise most of the big metro areas of Florida. The gulf coast states are prime targets for savage hurricanes, too, even inland in Orlando. If I were in Elle's shoes, I'd think twice about whether getting hitched to this particular guy is worth it.

I wouldn't move to a city.

I need a sizable stand of timber as a source of firewood and wild game, a garden plot, and enough privacy so I can piss in the bushes at the edge of my yard without somebody calling the law. At the end of a dead-end road (our current location) is perfect.

I could put up with a warmer climate than Wisconsin provides, but it is not unbearable.

Haven't made plans yet for when my wife and I get too debilitated to live here, except that we won't move to a city. Small town, maybe.

By the way, my wife grew up in the rice/cotton/soybean country of the White River Delta in eastern Arkansas. We attended her 50th high school reunion a year or so ago, and she said she was glad she went because it reminded her why she would absolutely hate living there again: topography, climate, and culture.

I love living in a city now - I love the food and entertainment options - but I also love that where we live now we have an amazing network of people we are close to, so I think that not just any city would work as well. However, when we have kids, I could see us moving to a nearby suburb. When a 2 bedroom condo in our building costs 800k, I'm certainly not going to be able to afford a place with a back yard in the city any time soon. And I'd like my kids to be able to go out and play.

Well, good question. I think it simply boils down to how much you like a person. What kind of chemistry exists between the couple? And of course one person's connection to a location for work and life has to be considered. It simply has to be.

Thinking about it, I moved to down town Chicago from a medium sized town for love once. Life was good in the windy city. In general, I like people, and there where many to meet and interact with there. I wouldn't be thrilled to live in a big city that has arctic winters again though!

Any woman would move anywhere to be with me

"If I were in Elle's shoes, I'd think twice about whether getting hitched to this particular guy is worth it."

He's worth it. Knowing how much I dislike the area, he offered to not take the job if I didn't want to move to Florida. I can't make him sacrifice a dream job just because I hate the humidity.

"Are there places you wouldn't go? "

Like Catherine, I can think of a few countries that are out of the question. As far as the USA goes, there are very few places that are completely out of the question. I can find enough to like about an area to make living there bearable whether it's rural (I love gardening and horses) or urban (I love museums and concert halls). You'd have a hard time talking me into moving to some of the economic wastelands like Flint, MI; but I'm very adaptable.

I just really hate humidity.

There's not a chance in Hell I'd live in LA. Actually, I think I'd prefer Hell to LA.

SanFran and NYC might be interesting to live in, for a while. But eventually, I'd move on. Big cities make me itchy, and I'd move somewhere smaller.

Where I do live is a big enough, and maybe too big. But we do live amongst nature despite the size. Owls, mocking birds, hawks and crows, fox and bears and deer are never far. And there's nothing quite like a barred owl hooting in the night to let you know that all is well.

It can get a little cacophanous when several of them start calling back and forth to each other... :-)

The gulf coast states are prime targets for savage hurricanes, too, even inland in Orlando.

I'll take my chances with the hurricanes. You can keep your blizzards and nor'easters. Actually, one of the nastiest storms to hit Florida was the 1993 Storm of the Century, a nor'easter.

there are a ton of variables, here Amy... But the easier parts sure revolve around what things made you like this person to start? Are you both living in a place you like, or are you transplants to begin with? If you are both from a place, and both like a place, then moving away for a job or whatever may be fine, because you will likely find your way back eventually. If one or the other is a transplant, then something will have to give.

Think on this part. What percentage of time are you actually in a place, vs. what percentage of time are you inside a room that could be anywhere? Regardless at home or work, we spend a lot of time there. For that reason, it's important that we connect more with the person we love, because they are far more constant regardless of where we are. I don't miss the humidity in the midwest, but I miss the fireflies. I know people there that are the best in the world. Regardless if I was in Nebraska, Minn. or Chicago metro though, I found interesting things, and fun times. Same as I have found in my mountain west. I could probably live anywhere with mountains, too, and find something to do.

The commonality in all this is yourself, because no matter where you go, there you are, as they say.

How do you relate to the person you are with? How well do you know yourself?

I've done it and still live in my adopted country. I think most of the people here are liberal yokels and they are. If I could have a do-over, I would have moved to a more metropolitan area. You adapt though. I managed to get a job in an international organization and get to speak English all day. That's a plus. Less mosquitos too. The love part didn't work out so well.

I grew up a Marines/oil company brat. I get all sorts of restless after about 2 years somewhere. Which makes the fact that we're intending to live in this house about 20 years a bit intimidating. DH on the other hand lived in the same house since birth, where his parents still live, and had he not joined the air force he'd probably live 2 miles from them now.

I can be happy anywhere, it's a matter of finding your niche. So yes, I'd move to be with someone I loved, just like I'm staying put for 4 people I love now.

I take that back-I really doubt I'd ever live in Cali. Of course, I was set on NOT settling in Texas, too, and here I am. I love the place, but I do feel I've been here done that by now. And I am SO tired of the heat.

I would really have to love where he was asking me to move to. I wouldn't disrupt my kids but if they were grown and on their own I could see myself being a bit of a gypsy.

I lived in Omaha for 11 years before moving to the Inland Empire in California because of my wife's job, and frankly I hate it here. The cost of living, the brutal heat, the traffic, the smog and the insane road warriors on the freeways here make for very stressful living, but I did it for love.

I think I would only move temporarily for the love of money. I don't fall in romantic love with people.

I live on the northern front range of Colorado and love it. Close enough to Denver if I have any desires to be in a moderately large city and never far from open country.

I'm a telecommunications contractor and have worked in many cities in Texas, Wyoming, North Carolina, Utah, Colorado, and am currently doing work in California from Monterrey to the Bay area and up through Sacramento to Redding. I'm sometimes gone from home for months at a time (now being one of those times) and so far I've always very much enjoyed going home.

I wouldn't say people are nicer where I live. I meet nice people everywhere. I like visiting big cities but I prefer the smaller one I live in. I think I would find living in a large city more restrictive than liberating. Plus my town is relatively clean compared to many areas I've been to, there isn't really a bad area of town, and what else? Uhh. . . It's not a bad place at all for the pursuit of happiness and I also love the dry climate. Winters aren't too harsh and summers don't kill you.

I'm not much of one for "cultural" draws, and I don't know if Colorado has much to offer in that arena. Some history with wars on the plains and the Colorado gold rush. There is obviously no large bodies of water and massive commerce but there is a lot of outdoor activities in the state, if one is into that sort of stuff.

Enough of the commercial. I was born in Iowa and do miss the fireflies. I also spend a lot of time when home just in a room reading, so in that sense I could likely be happy anywhere. Final note would be that all my immediate family lives in the same area and it would suck to only see them once a year or less.

Many years ago, I broke off an engagement because my fiancee moved to another city and wanted me to go with her. I didn't mind the city she went to--I can live pretty much anywhere--but I had a comfortable job where I was and didn't want to give it up and risk having to settle for something not nearly as good.

In retrospect, I should have tried to keep the relationship going long-distance, flying to see each other one or two weekends a month (this was long before 9/11) and taking vacations together. But that idea didn't occur to me until much too late.

I was raised in "rural" PA but was less than 15 miles from some large cities. That was until I was 16. The next two years were spent in a small town in the same zip code.

Then I joined the USAF and from there eight years living on various bases (which is like a small city) with a surrounding town.

From there I ended up in a suburb of an Ohio city. That was seven years. Now I'm in rural Ohio for about ten+ years. About 30-50 miles from a major city. I couldn't be happier with that.

I'd be willing to move to another location for love -- but I wouldn't do it without having a decent chance for a good job. (I will not allow myself to be dependent on someone else.) The other thing is that I value my (our) privacy and the solitude/peacefulness. I hear a siren about twice-three times a year. More than ten cars an hour on my road is a rush.

One of my ladies wanted to go to a cabin in the woods. About the only nice added was the jacuzzi. I plan on getting one someday.

I could handle a few more trees on my property. The bottom line is that when I go home -- I leave my stress at work because my home is peaceful. I don't really need vacations because my home is my vacation.

I can pretty much handle anywhere in the states that drops off to rural pretty quickly -- i.e. Ohio, Indiana, Iowa, etc... But when you talk about some areas, like Atlanta, I worked with a company that had one guy that lived 60 miles west of the company and another that lived 45 miles north. They were both in the Atlanta metropolitan area. I now commute 55 miles one way, but could handle a 25 mile commute and still be in the country side.

Just started a business over here in NYC. I ain't going nowhere.

Plus I've got a good one right where I am.

Charles Telerant -"Any woman would move anywhere to be with me"

My, full of ourselves, are we?

I'm in a town of ~ 50K. I have a 7 minute drive to work if I hit THE light wrong. If I want to ride my bike, I'm in the country in 2 miles. No way in hell I want to live in a big city, except maybe the suburbs at the edge - IF you can escape the the crowd in a jiffy.

Funny you should pose this question because, in a month and a half, I will be moving for love and for no other reason.

I'll be leaving Washington, D.C., for Austin, Texas. I like Austin enough. Good climate (I hate winter), AMAZING food, nice people, good going-out scene, laid-back atmosphere. Also, the guy of my dreams. :) He owns a business, so moving is not an option for him.

As much as I like Austin, it's a bit small for me, and I'm going to have to used to driving, rather than walking or Metro-ing everywhere.

I'll miss D.C. I love being able to get anywhere I want on my own two feet or on our wonderful Metro system. I'll miss my friends here, being able to walk the Mall at night with the Monuments glowing, walking downtown and suddenly looking up to see the Capitol, the farmers market in my neighborhood, being walking distance from some of the most amazing (and free!) museums in the country, getting drinks on rooftop bars and seeing the Washington Monument in the distance, the row houses, and, most of all, being able to sit in the National Portrait Gallery and write for hours.

...but to borrow from Gladys Knight, "I'd rather live in his world than live without him in mine."

Hmm.

You guys should have seen Orlando in the '60s. The air is brown over Florida now.

And isn't it interesting that so many people clamor for and claim to use "green technology" where they live - where they have paved over everything already?

I've long felt that who one knows in a place is much more important than anything intrinsic about the place itself. Oh sure, different places have more or less appeal but if you live in a great place but know crappy people, life won't be so swell; and vice-versa.

Robert, W, I agree. I used to live in St. Louis, and I never liked the city much -- but the people I knew there helped me stay put for longer than I would have (should have) otherwise stayed.

I moved to Japan 30 years ago, because I knew I couldn't live without him, he was an only child and I was one of three. I've never regretted it, we had our 30th anniversary last month.

I have some many roots in this one area, I think it would be very hard to move much more than an hour away...2 at the most. For a short time I could probably move farther. I like where I live other than the social scene. It seems like every place just slowly closed up and that was before the recession. Lots of muesmums but they change so slowly if you go every 5 years you won't miss much.

I suspect I will need to move to find love. Just not many options here and those that are...well... lets just say I met a 31y/o who just became a grandmother this evening. scary.

Dis-regarding that factor. I think I would most like the west coast of the US from San Fran up to Vancouver or so. I really liked the San Jose CA area in the mid-late 90s when I was there a lot for work and visiting friends, but not so much in 2005 when I was there again. Most of the East is too humid & hot for me. I haven't be to the New England states, they might be OK.

I could see myself living in the bigger cities of new Zealand or the east coast of Australia. I liked Japan a lot, but I think the language barrier would be a bit too much for me.

Yep I would move. I am likely to in the future. Movin' on down to land of Oz. GF has tolerated living with me in South Korea. She is getting ansty about going back home. I will follow her. Hope to get a defacto visa.

Just did, twice since march. We'll be able to provide a better life for our son where we are now, though leaving the west coast would not have been a topic of conversation when we were childless. I can be happy anywhere if my family is happy--home is wherever they are.

Why do people seem to choose Omaha as one of the last places on earth they think they could survive? I have been a proud resident of Omaha for over 30 years and we love it here. We have a population of almost 1 million people and beautiful rolling hills with lots of grass lawns and mature trees. I live in a beautiful neighborhood with mature trees and great neighbors. I could walk the streets here at 2 AM and feel safe. I have all the conveniences I need within 2 miles of my home and my office is 10 minutes away. We have a world class zoo, an excellent symphony, a ballet company, the old market full of shops featuring local artists and once of a kind clothing stores, several local farmer's markets and probably more good family owned restaurants (not chain) than many cities I could name. It's great to travel and I've traveled all over the country for my work but I am always glad to get back home.Please come visit some week-end before you decide Omaha is uninhabitable. I'd love to show you around!

I would prefer not to live anywhere that was VERY rural. My parents live 30 minutes away from the nearest store (Wal-Mart), and I hate going to visit them.
I'm married with a child, so if Husband's moving, of course I'm coming. Even if the situation were different, though, I can't imagine being more in love with a place than a person. There's a small chance that I'd end a relationship rather than end up somewhere with high crime rates and anti-handgun laws (DC or Chicago).
If I were unattached, I'd likely end up in Washington or Oregon, in a mid-sized city. We live in Austin. I like it here, but where we live is Husband's choice, not mine. I actually never wanted to live here, but that's because I'm from central Texas and didn't want to spend my entire life here.

Sofar, I've been in Austin for three years and love it. I think you'll find it has a lot of DC's cultural amenities, just on a smaller, local scale. From farmer's markets to museums, year-round outdoor activities to every music genre, Austin has a great "metropolitan small town" feel.

I'll miss it. Moving to small town PA, and guess what? My boyfriend wants to come with me. :) It'll be an interesting next few years for this city girl.

I moved from New York City to the DC area for my ex-husband, when he got a job there, and I regretted it. It was the right decision at the time, since we were broke and we really needed him to get that job, but I hated it there. We moved back a couple of years later when he lost that job.

My husband and I expect to move to Colorado in a few years. Once my family responsibilities are wrapped up here, we want to leave New York. Colorado is where most of his family and friends are, but I think I could be happy there. I could be happy in rural areas or urban areas, but I hate the suburbs. It's the worst of both worlds.

It depends entirely on the relationship and why we're moving.

Of course I'd move for the right girl. I didn't have to though, she moved here to be with me.

There are things we love about Japan, and Syracuse, but the big cities are too much inconvenience for not enough reward for us. (Mrs D is from what used to be a small town 45 minutes by train from Hiroshima. It's now home to Hiroshima University and is now almost unrecognizeable to her.) I couldn't and wouldn't live in New York City, but we like to visit. Toronto is nice, too.

Children do change a lot of what you want out of life and where you would consider living.

I'd love to retire to rural San Antonio or Austin. We don't need a huge city, but we want some civilization nearby. I could never live in California, because of the traffic and the cost of living. I can get to work in ten minutes, and my wife gets to her job in even less.

Hey Trish, I'm in West Des Moines - we're practically neighbors. The thing I liked best about Omaha was the Old Market district, and the restaurant Vivace in particular. I had pasta there with the best gorgonzola sauce I've ever tasted.

I love living in a small city. Big cities are cool, and I can visit one any time I want, but I would never in a million years want to live someplace so expensive. It blows my mind that people live in places where the property taxes alone cost as much as buying another house every couple of years. Unless you are a multi-millionaire or have fifteen roommates, I don't know how people do it. Hopefully they get paid really, REALLY well and LOVE their jobs.

We have several live theater venues here and live music playing in dozens of different places on any given evening. But my favorite thing is the network of cycling trails. I love that I can be out in the country after 20 minutes of pedaling. The trail system is mostly converted from old railroad beds, so it connects all these small towns that are between 7-10 miles apart. Which just happens to be the right amount of riding between beers at the dive bars.

By coincidence, my wife and I were having a conversation about this last night. In the field I'm in (aerospace), there are only about a dozen places in the U.S. where that kind of work can be found. She works in health care, and the company she works for is everywhere, so it would be a lot easier for her. Aerospace is dying in SoCal, so that would be out. I've been to St. Louis and I'm not a fan. We've vacationed in Seattle and we liked the city, but we're not sure we could take the weather for very long if we lived there. The Boston corridor is far too expensive; we'd be fish out of water culturally, and there's that awful winter weather. Same goes for the Denver / Co Springs area. DC... yuck. I actually kind of like El Paso, but it's in a bad place regarding the current border situation. Houston and Cape Canaveral would probably be our choices, although Indianapolis might be an alternate. And the industry's growing in South Carolina.

Well, this is timely. I'm going to be laid off in about 60 days, and I may have to move out of state to find work, if it comes to that. I'm hoping not, though. I followed my late husband here to Colorado from Michigan in '93 and I LOVE it here. (Frankly, though, I would have went ANYWHERE that wasn't Michigan).

My BF of 9+ years would probably follow me, but if the shoe were on the other foot, it would have to be a place that I want to live in - life is too short. I spent the first 27 years of my life in Michigan and hated EVERY SECOND of it, and I will live in a cardboard box before I live there again.

I'd like to try Portland, OR or Seattle, I think. We shall see.

@Trish - good post; Omaha is probably not the right example as a "rural" town.

@the field - personally I would move anywhere for love with the sole exception of Berkeley, California. I've met homeless people in L.A. more enterprising and genuinely interesting than the mob rule that pervades Berkeley. I'd rather live in the Green Zone.

There hasn't been very much discussion in this thread (unless I missed it) about the cost of living in various places. Right now, I cannot afford to live in any of the places I would really enjoy. Which makes the whole moving for love or money discussion more than a little academic.

My father left his Ohio home, the only one of the four sons to do so. When we were growing up, we moved several times, from southern California to Colorado to Midland, Texas. As a result, I don't have an attachment to any particular place as "home" while my Ohio cousins have all stayed within 60 miles of their parents and still have friends from childhood. It's an odd contrast. I've lived in the above places, plus Austin for 10 years and Baltimore for three. We're now back in Colorado, near Boulder.

Anyway, I could live many places but mainly what I would like to do is stay in one place for a while and get my garden the way I envision it. Since my husband and I work in academia, we'll see. We love Colorado. If the funding runs out here, we've discussed the likely places we could both find work and the clear preference is for the West: Tuscon, Pasadena, or Hawaii being likely options (centers of astronomy hardware development). Not back to Maryland, that's for sure (the locals are nice enough but the professionals are uptight, status-conscious, and have poor work-life balance).

Places we won't live? Well, I was invited to apply for a faculty job at Notre Dame. My husband said, "I have three words: lake-effect snow." Actually, the weather wouldn't bother me so much but I grew up the child of midwestern parents and some of the cultural mores (not to mention the dire food scene) rule out most of the midwest for me.

Thanks Julie! I'm pretty stoked for Austin. I love the big-ness, of DC, but I've gotta say, Austin's food scene blows DC's out of the water. Farm-fresh gormet food, made-from scratch doughnuts, and Korean/Mexican fusion served from trailers in a parking lot?? Yes PLEASE.

Bora Bora? You bet.

Houston? Uh .... Houston, we have a problem.

I strongly believe we can find and make community wherever we go. And, despite what that author said, you can go home again.

But, it's easy to say yes since no one's asking me!

Time for me to weigh in, seeing as we just got back from visiting my family in suburban Ohio where I grew up. I had a great time, boring my wife and kids with "Oh, we used to get pizza here all the time," and "That's where we used to do the grocery shopping," and the like.

My company has a branch office there, too, and my salary would go quite a bit further out there than it does here in Virginia. My wife knows it, too, but she thinks my hometown is a little depressing, and I wouldn't want to inflict a move like that on her.

If my wife had a really great opportunity in her home town of Manila, would I follow her out there? Oh, well I don't know...

I would prefer not to live anywhere that was VERY rural. My parents live 30 minutes away from the nearest store (Wal-Mart), and I hate going to visit them. -- ahw

Anytime I hear a sentiment like that, it bothers me. I have a small grocery store and a Dollar General about five miles away. I have a Wal-mart and a Kroger (Ralph's) at about 15 miles, on mostly rural roads to get to them.

But what bothers me most is that it shows a lack of forethought. The question is why do you have to run that distance for a small order? What would you do if you couldn't get out for three days because of a snow storm? What would you do if a hurricane, earthquake, or other disaster hit in your home area and everything was down or blocked?

When I hit a grocery store for staples -- I will generally buy two (or more) at a time. I have charcoal year round. I have a kerosene heater and enough fuel to last. I figure that I can live at least three days without outside contact without blinking an eye.

I will grant that I may stop more than once a week at the grocery store -- but it for stuff I want, not need.

It is all mindset.

What a question --- for sure I'd move for love, 'of course' --- home is where the SO/family is. I've already moved a lot (in fact I moved again just this weekend), and have very little attachment to "place" ... I find attaching yourself to some place strongly as absurd as attaching yourself strongly to material goods. I used to feel strongly attached to where I grew up, but I think being on the receiving end of some life and death situations has left me with a stronger sense of "what matters, and what doesn't" --- moving around is really *nothing*. I would almost say if moving wasn't easy it would mean I had lost perspective. Of course, it probably helps that I'm not very social, that most of my friends are already split up all over the world anyway, and that the work I do can mostly be done from anywhere with an Internet connection. There are places I'd *prefer* to be, for sure, and certain places I wouldn't move (e.g. high-crime areas, or the middle of the desert, or anywhere without Internet, and as someone else said I'd prefer not to move anywhere with anti-handgun laws), but other than that my geographical location is very low on my list of concerns. I know I would enjoy farm, city or suburban life, so actually I think it keeps life interesting to experience all of these, to live in different places and different kinds of places.

"What would you do if you couldn't get out for three days because of a snow storm?"

You keep several days worth of supplies, and you hunker down when something hits. You learn to think and plan and live a bit differently when you're not as tightly tethered to the teat of civilization. People get by, almost anywhere they live on any corner of the planet.

I moved to Scotland for love. After all was said and done I was back in the states with 300 dollars and two suit cases to show for it. ASK me if I would do it all over again???