Outta Luck, Bub
I get this bit of Facebook mail from some guy with an American name and very American look in his photo, but who sounds like he ran his e-mail through Google translator to change it from the Swahili:
NAME DELETED July 19 at 3:15pm ReportHi,
It takes an eye twinkle too have a crush, a second too stare at, a minute too admire, an hour to fall crazy in love, a day to go wheezy and a life time to let go. Right from the very instance i set an eye on your pics and profile i lost breathe and when i recovered, i sat back asking myself, what an angel is doing here on earth.I thought angels lives above the "BRIGHT BLUE SKY", so what on earth are you doing in this localize globalism, for you are an epitome of beauty, a Sharon of a diamond stone, a paragon of God's creation and a masterpiece of a divine architectural dexterity. All this are the factors that made me fall for you........so i need your reply....my ID, (email address deleted)
I am, of course, always courteous to guys who express interest (although I do take care to not dispense false hope), so I wrote back:
Amy Alkon July 19 at 5:53pm Thanks, have a boyfriend.
He tries again:
NAME DELETED July 26 at 2:11pm Report so you can not try me. and know if i will be better than him.
Gregg, I'm sure, is home quaking with worry.
Is there some trend on Facebook of these strange, semi-English mash notes? This is about the fifth I've gotten.
Nothing new. Yahoo Messenger and ICQ was a great way to meet weirdos too.
Kendra at July 26, 2010 10:47 PM
I just get random friend requests.
FB also seems to like to give some odd friend suggestions. Alot, for me, appear to come from FB linking me to a bunch of people from HS who I have friended on there to an exchange student (who I did not really know) to his friends in Korea.
I just wonder how you know the message originated in Swahili.
The Former Banker at July 26, 2010 11:22 PM
I think there are just far too many weirdos with time on their hands. I get all sorts of goofy messages like that (well, your's was far more peotic than anything I've ever gotten). Some guy kept messaging me over and over to obsess over my shoes apparently. He kept telling me how nice my shoes were and how he wanted to lick them. Kind of creepy. Had another guy asked if he could "send you pictures of my dick, and other body parts." Other parts like what, his elbow? Of course all of these messages came across in mangled English and the profile pictures were creepy looking older men, generally Asian.
BunnyGirl at July 27, 2010 1:31 AM
I hope I don't come off as weirdo Miss Goddess. WHose advice I bask i. Whose silly quips make me quake with laughter. Your fear of the muslim hoardes is my fear who I will.,.....
Sorry got away from me their for a minute. John Try and remain normal ..... Keep yourself under control.... Sob she is already taken....
The only option now is suicide!
;>
John Paulson at July 27, 2010 2:38 AM
BunnyGirl, yea there were lots of those on ICQ. When a friend was sent a penis picture by some guy she had been talking to for a few hours, we had a little fun with that. Opened up photoshop, created a 'Rejected' stamp, pasted it onto his penis, renamed the file to JanesTitties.jpg and sent it back to him.
Kendra at July 27, 2010 2:41 AM
"Your email address has one [sic] one million Euros. Just send your name, bank account information, and soshul [sic] security number to get the cash. We will not tell the IRS"
Probably your message was sent by the same type of person who would write the above note.
Sabba Hillel at July 27, 2010 6:03 AM
Probably a spammer, or maybe someone from sub-Saharian Africa.
Otherwise, yes, I can see getting the vapors whilst trying to chat you up. And end up looking like a Val-U-Rite swilling moron.
I R A Darth Aggie at July 27, 2010 6:09 AM
Dang Amy, I'm totally jealous, I never get those kinds of emails on FB. Maybe I should change my privacy settings so I can...hahaha.
sara at July 27, 2010 7:04 AM
> "masterpiece of a divine architectural dexterity"
I almost spit up my coffee on that line.
Made me think of Lionel Ritchie singing,
"She's a brick----house
Mighty might just lettin' it all hang out
She's a brick----house
The lady's stacked and that's a fact,
ain't holding nothing back."
ha ha ha...
Shake it down now...
Mark at July 27, 2010 7:16 AM
You don't accept email propositions from strange guys through Facebook?
Dang. So what DO I have to do to get Gregg out of the way? :)
Doug Stephens at July 27, 2010 7:41 AM
I was once Yahoo chatted by a man(?) whose prattle started off very much like this. I think it was, "Ur profile sparkle me."
I decided to play along, and after a few minutes he got to the heart of the matter: He was an American working in Nigeria who couldn't cash his paycheck, and would I be willing to cash a check for him, wire him 90% and keep the rest for my trouble? I saved the entire chat. It's hilarious, and posted to my Livejournal for posterity.
Amy, the next time you get one of these notes, please play along and report back.
Beth at July 27, 2010 7:51 AM
He was just spam trolling. Your privacy settings need to be tightened or just ignore them. It does look like it was put through a translator program. I'd bet it was originally an Asian language because of the flowery language.
David H at July 27, 2010 7:51 AM
It's also possible that the purpose of the flowery language was to fool any spam filters that Facebook may have installed. Same reason that email spammers often attach word lists or random passages from literary works to their spam.
Cousin Dave at July 27, 2010 8:09 AM
Looks like an Asian spam generator fancies you Amy. But I have always wondered what a girl like you is doing in a localize globalism like this. OK, have to go now ... I got all wheezy.
AllenS at July 27, 2010 9:31 AM
"Is there some trend on Facebook of these strange, semi-English mash notes?"
No spell-check. No grammar check. But, what are them red and grene unberlimes their four, anywhey?
wfjag at July 27, 2010 9:58 AM
Happens all the time. Friend requests from complete strangers, usually middle aged men. It actually happened more when my privacy settings were tighter on FB, go figure.
@ BunnyGirl-- Bootlickers will pay good money to get their kink on, don't scoff.
@Mark-- Lionel Ritchie? Um some confusion there. This is what Lionel Ritchie sounds like
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_ILDFp5DGA
The vid is surprisingly appropriate for the topic of this conversation. Maybe that's why Ritchie came to mind.
Gspotted at July 27, 2010 2:44 PM
@Gspotted I guess you didn't know that Lionel Richie was actually the lead singer for The Commodores before he went solo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQYJO7dGnMw
Mark at July 28, 2010 2:03 PM
To prove his love is greater, he will offer to transfer $32,000,000 to your bank account (of which you may keep 10%) from the bank he works is in Lagos.
Dwatney at July 28, 2010 4:10 PM
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