Christopher Elliott Quotes From My Book On MSBNC
Way cool! I've been a fan of travel columnist Elliott for years. Here's his story, "Plane Angry," and his quote from I SEE RUDE PEOPLE:
When JetBlue flight attendant Steven Slater dramatically walked off the job -- jumped actually -- he became a poster boy for all that's wrong with air travel today."It's no secret that the air travel experience -- which includes the TSA experience, delays, cancellations -- is not as comfortable as it could be," said Geoff Freeman, the executive vice president of the U.S. Travel Association, which represents the American tourism industry. Research by the association suggests that 41 million people are avoiding air travel every year because of the so-called "hassle factor."
Those hassles, from crowded planes to tightened security to fees for checked baggage, have made air travel an intolerably bad experience, which is why passengers are lashing out.
"Air travel has become like flying below Greyhound ... in the baggage compartment under the bus," says Amy Alkon, author of the book "I See Rude People: One Woman's Battle to Beat Some Manners into Impolite Society." "There are those who still find coach seats adequately roomy -- mainly small-boned children under eight, and armless, legless midgets. Better hope you have one of the latter seated next to you, and not some 300-pound man who wordlessly annexes half of your seat like he's Germany and you're Poland."
Many airline insiders say flight attendants get no respect, and Slater's case is arguably a direct result of that. The passenger involved in the altercation apparently ignored the crew member's instructions to sit down, which is a federal offense.
UPDATE: Per Gawker, Slater seems to be a good egg.
I bet that woman is the same kind of jerk who curses at the waiter when the food is cold. I've never understood getting pissy with the FAs. They have about as much power as I do when it comes to setting airline policy and routing bags where they need to go.
MonicaP at August 11, 2010 10:14 AM
Me neither, MonicaP. I hate flying. But I can just pass out and sleep, unlike the FAs who have to deal with all the other cranky passengers.
Also, I love love love Elliott's column, too! His advice has come in handy more times than I can count.
sofar at August 11, 2010 10:21 AM
"Better hope you have one of the latter seated next to you, and not some 300-pound man who wordlessly annexes half of your seat like he's Germany and you're Poland."
Well, geez, Amy, look in the mirror and you'll find a rude person right in front of you!
Ali at August 11, 2010 10:27 AM
Ali, she's right not rude.
Why should everyone else be inconvenienced by someone else's lifestyle choice? Like the obese people that get disabled plates because they don't take care of themselves and take up all the disabled spots. So when I go to places with my 87 year old grandmother, who has a cane and we can't find a disabled parking spot - it irritates me to see some middle aged obese person who has parked there.
I saw one of these obese people with a disabled sticker who got front row FREE parking at BART and then demanded she get the disabled seats on the train. I saw her nearly every morning for two years. A month or so ago I ran into her again when I was walking out of a local burger joint. I saw her with a double serving of fries, huge milk shake, double decker cheese burger and a side of pecan pie.
Congrats, Amy on Elliott's recognition.
Feebie at August 11, 2010 10:36 AM
This is one of the funnniest things I've ever heard. Honestly this is straight out of a Will Ferrell movie.
I can't believe there is no video or pics of this guy taking off down the slide.
Don't use the term midgets. Use little people or little person.
JFP at August 11, 2010 10:45 AM
I just flew with some of the family. About a 4-hour flight. It was fine. No one was rude. The seat was a bit uncomfortable, but manageable. Most people seem to make the best of things, and it makes for a pleasant trip. The only thing that upset me was the $25 charge per checked bag.
kishke at August 11, 2010 10:52 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/08/11/christopher_ell.html#comment-1741840">comment from JFPDon't use the term midgets. Use little people or little person.
Herve Villechaize insisted on being called a midget. Sorry, I have a hard time keeping up on political correctness.
Amy Alkon at August 11, 2010 11:05 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/08/11/christopher_ell.html#comment-1741841">comment from Amy AlkonAnd thank you, Feeb!
PS I don't understand why it would be rude to suggest that the seat I pay for on a plane belongs to me. That little space between the two arm rests is mine, and if you can't fit between your space between the two arm rests, you should buy the space between another two arm rests to supplement it. Taking space that I've paid for is stealing, which is rude.
Amy Alkon at August 11, 2010 11:07 AM
I hear ya! Hey, I see your Share links are up - Cool!
Feebie at August 11, 2010 11:15 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/08/11/christopher_ell.html#comment-1741848">comment from FeebieShare links are thanks to a suggestion from Suki and the grumbling good-naturedness of Gregg, who is putting them up now and complaining about Movable Type!
Amy Alkon at August 11, 2010 11:27 AM
I wonder sometimes if this is the inevitable fate of any form of transportation. The Greyhound bus was once regarded as a moderately luxurious form of travel -- not as good as express trains back in the day, but not the glorified garbage scow that it is now. And of course the train was once *the* way to travel in the U.S., at least in between big cities. And we have the passenger cruise liner industry, which nearly died altogether in the 1960s. It was only saved by the brilliant but counter-purposeful insight of "hey, forget the transportation aspect, let's make the boat itself the destination!".
I still enjoy the actual flying part of flying. The trouble is, that's a shrinking part of the total trip duration -- unless you are taking a very long trip, you will spend more time in the check-in line, the security line, the waiting areas, the tarmac, and the rental car lot than you will at 35,000 feet. People in the biz talk about "curb to curb time", which is increasing even as actual time in flight is decreasing. It's reaching the point where the break-even vs. drive time (unless you can get a nonstop flight) is about 6 hours on most routes; that is, if you can drive it in 6 hours or less, you will get there just as soon or sooner. And of course, if you drive, you can take as much baggage as will fit in your car, and you can eat what and when you want.
But yes, pissing off the FA = bad, bad idea. Besides the basic human decency aspect, there's the fact that in an emergency, the FA is the person you're relying on to help get your ass out of there. Not that I think an FA would deliberately not help an irritating pax, but they're human, and in a situation where a moment's hesitation might mean disaster, you want the FA to feel like they can trust you without a second thought.
Cousin Dave at August 11, 2010 11:36 AM
I don't fly that often, but when I do, I try to fly only non-stop, even if it costs a bit more. The thought of turning a 4-hour flight into a 7-8 hour marathon is horrifying.
kishke at August 11, 2010 11:47 AM
I love to fly but as Cousin Dave pointed out, sometimes I'd rather driving. By the time I drive to the airport, check bags, go through security, and make sure I arrive as required 2 hours before departure, I'm exhausted and aggravated. Even quick flights from NY to DC or Niagara Falls that are hour flights end up consuming hours more due to all the restrictions. I was going to take my kids to Niagara and got cheap flights but the travel time which included check-ins was only 2 hours less than driving there. I'd rather drive it.
And as far as that FA, I don't get why people are treating him like a hero. I worked in customer service for many years for a Cable company that most people HATE!! I've been screamed at and threatened many times. Customers threw equipment at me. Never would I have freaked out like that FA did. There's a screw loose there. Imagine being on that plane. I think I'd be a little scared hearing someone screaming over the speaker and then jumping out the emergency slide. Nobody was in danger, but still. Not exactly normal behavior. There's a difference between blowing off some steam and losing it.
Kristen at August 11, 2010 11:57 AM
I think he's being treated like a hero because everyone wants to do that at one point or another. Most of us never lose our shit like that, but we want to. Plus, nobody got hurt. It was just a funny stunt. Had he, say, beaten the lady with a hammer, I wouldn't be laughing.
MonicaP at August 11, 2010 12:08 PM
I agree. The guy's a complete nutjob. I'm glad he's off the job.
kishke at August 11, 2010 12:31 PM
I agree. The guy's a complete nutjob. I'm glad he's off the job.
Oh, totally. He should never work as a FA again. And he should be punished within the limits of the law for whatever laws he broke. Still funny as hell, though.
MonicaP at August 11, 2010 12:37 PM
> He should never work as a FA again. And he
> should be punished
OK. But I'm pretty sure the passenger who bonked him on the head should get tagged Tyson-style, too. Maybe a short period of very hard time.
Stories this morning were talking about only one side of this: "Those hassles, from crowded planes to tightened security to fees for checked baggage, have made air travel an intolerably bad experience, which is why passengers are lashing out."
The other side is that ticket prices are INCREDIBLY low. The accessibility of air travel through the middle class (and below) has turned the average airport lounge into a venue for the tawdriest human conduct.
Travellers have used powerful computers to get the lowest FUCKING price conceivable for their ticket... They've squeezed their copper penny into the space formerly taken by six atoms of carbon. And they know it, too. They're in a bottom-feeding frame of mind from the word go.
They dress like animals.
They're as crass as they can be. They're completely disassociated from any human shame for the duration of the journey: Everything, everything wrong in that moment of their lives is the fault of someone else. And if –on their way across the destination's concourse– it occurs to them that there was one thing they could have been a little more arrogant about, they commit it to memory, so they can try it out on the return trip.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at August 11, 2010 1:58 PM
But I'm pretty sure the passenger who bonked him on the head should get tagged Tyson-style, too.
Yeah, she sounds like a savage. There was no good behavior here.
MonicaP at August 11, 2010 2:19 PM
have made air travel an intolerably bad experience
I don't agree with this. It's not all that bad, and it's certainly not intolerably bad.
They're completely disassociated from any human shame for the duration of the journey
I disagree with this too. Most people I have encountered on airplanes and in airports act normally. Some are rude, but I suspect they are always rude, not just when flying.
kishke at August 11, 2010 2:37 PM
> Some are rude, but
In the confinement, a few are all it takes.
> I suspect they are always rude, not just
> when flying.
My point exactly. The context now accepts people at their worst without comment. Many passengers would be appalled to hear that they're expected to prepare for their journey or modify their deportment in any way.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at August 11, 2010 2:42 PM
Nah, what he did was great. A little more of that, and there would be fewer rude people in the world. Sounds like he had a lot going on in his life too, which may explain why he DID it instead of thinking it, like the rest of us.
I forget what company I worked for (I think a bridal wear one) that said "The customer is NOT always right". I loved that place. We still gave good service, though.
momof4 at August 11, 2010 3:32 PM
From what I understand, he COULD have seriously injured the ground crew by unexpectedly ejecting the slide. Hence the endangerment charge.
I agree the woman passenger should have been arrested too and if she hasn't been, I don't understand why. So what if he broke more laws than she did? Unfortunately, it looks as though his doing just that made him forfeit the glory of seeing her in handcuffs.
lenona at August 11, 2010 3:55 PM
"They dress like animals."
That has trickled down to (or up from) the flight attendants as well. Cockpit crew still dresses professionally and the traveling public still respects them.
My favorite part of the story is where Slater was later arrested, apparently while having sex.
smurfy at August 11, 2010 4:02 PM
Also, way to go airport security! Guy commits a fairly obvious trespass onto the tarmac and he makes it all the way home and phones his lover before you can nab him.
smurfy at August 11, 2010 4:09 PM
And as far as that FA, I don't get why people are treating him like a hero. I worked in customer service for many years for a Cable company that most people HATE!! I've been screamed at and threatened many times. Customers threw equipment at me.
Asked and answered. You can't exactly count on every service person being in top form when the customer base is acting like a bunch of baboons.
mpetrie98 at August 11, 2010 4:15 PM
The passenger who caused all this should be identified and her name and picture plastered all over the Internet as being the overly rude a-hole who caused Slater to have a meltdown.
Tony at August 11, 2010 5:54 PM
M'kay, here's another example.
Now, it's just another typical I-hate-airlines rant, as the guy concedes at the end of the piece:
This was cathartic and sometimes I just have to rant a little, or else turn into one of those miserable Delta people and hate the world.
And Arrington is know as a man who can drive the most placid personalities to rage.
But the most instructive passage in his piece is this:
But Delta, oh God that airline sucks. I flew them to New York and back last week, choosing them because of the ticket price and because they now have wifi on some flights.
So there it is. He wanted something for nothing... Or if not for nothing, he wanted extra value without extra cost.
A whole lot of America is working that way now... With travel prices, home prices, communication prices, and service prices of all sorts. We expect the customer experience of Tiffany's with the penny savings of Wal-Mart.
Makes you want to grab a couple Brewskis and drop down the chute.
> The passenger who caused all this should be
> identified and her name and picture plastered
> all over the Internet as being the overly rude
> a-hole who caused Slater to have a meltdown.
Yes.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at August 11, 2010 6:32 PM
You know, a few more years of crap like this and mabye people wont find my plan of killing off half the worlds population all that horrifying.
lujlp at August 11, 2010 7:01 PM
Hold your breath, Lou.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at August 11, 2010 7:07 PM
I am not a big country fan, but I have to say - I liked this one.
United Breaks Guitars - by Sons of Maxwell
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YGc4zOqozo
Payback is a bitch. Be sure to read the background of why this band wrote the song.
And I second the motion to have the jerk that used Slater's head as a brace for her luggage publicly humiliated.
Feebie at August 11, 2010 7:48 PM
I think he's treated as a hero because so many people have been in a situation where they wanted to do something like that but knew better than to actually do it.
It was kind of stupid though. It's been pointed out that he could have reported the passenger, who would have gotten into real trouble.
And even if that hadn't been true, he just pretty much messed up his life, how hard is it going to be to find a half-way decent job after this?
Kris L at August 11, 2010 9:13 PM
Thanks for the props Amy! Just shared this on Facebook with the share thingie, check my wall.
I hear the cockpit voice recording about this JetBlue flight is out. Haven't heard it yet.
Suki at August 11, 2010 9:19 PM
Thank you too Gregg! Sorry for not recognizing the muscle behind the work :(
Suki at August 11, 2010 9:23 PM
> It's been pointed out that he could have
> reported the passenger, who would have
> gotten into real trouble.
In times of ferocious competition, companies don't usually humiliate their customers, even if they should. Southwest almost became known as the airline which required wide passengers to buy two seats, which would have sealed my loyalty to them evermore. (I'm a little overweight but small enough to thrive in coach if there are normal and polite people next to me.) But of course, that came to a halt, too... There's no percentage in being the company that asks the public to get real.
I can imagine this guy thinking his bosses would expect him to stand there and take it. Yes, what he did was wrong. But I sympathize deeply, and hope he gets a new job soon. And that things go well with his dying mother. (He's probably getting a lot of weird cash-in offers from marketing types. He'd have to be brilliant to negotiate this firestorm and come out ahead, even if he stays out of prison.)
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at August 11, 2010 9:27 PM
Uh oh, this one's starting to turn...
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/queens/jetblue_passenger_says_flight_attendant_qnwwZCFAjrE16FirMpMCUO
Crid [cridcomment at gmail] at August 12, 2010 9:04 AM
These fucking facts are REALLY starting to be a problem.
Crid [cridcomment at gmail] at August 12, 2010 9:07 AM
Everybody should be quoting from your book. Constantly. And, ideally, using it to beat miscreants over the head, after all polite ventures fail.
Steve H at August 12, 2010 9:17 AM
Seems like the nutcase made up the whole thing about the rude passenger and the suitcase.
http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2010/08/12/slater-calls-media-attention-a-bit-much/
kishke at August 12, 2010 9:28 AM
"The other side is that ticket prices are INCREDIBLY low."
Thanks for this, Crid. Its an important point that we all typically fail to remember. Without government subsidy, airfare would simply be cost-prohibitive to almost all casual travellers.
At a towering 5'8", I rarely mind coach. But I did notice two things on a recent flight: 1. for the first time ever, I had no room to bend down to get my briefcase from under the seat in front of me; and 2. during our descent, the United crew was "delighted" to offer us a special promotion in conjunction with bank something-or-other for a new credit card! You could tell the flight attendants were less-than-thrilled with having to shill this product as they sped down the aisle with the applications in less time than it took me to type this.
Seriously, we need to stop pining for the days of yore when airflight was somewhat glamorous. There is simply too much utility to making it affordable to expect luxurious travel at discount rates. That said, hats off to carriers like JetBlue and Virgin America who at least try. Plus, technology has made most in-flight entertainment vastly better than in years past.
snakeman99 at August 12, 2010 12:00 PM
The passengers are starting to weigh in. Seems he was acting weird the whole flight.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704216804575423932483801118.html?mod=WSJ_hpp_sections_newyork
kishke at August 12, 2010 7:53 PM
Before I moved from the east coast, I'd reached the point where for any trip in the Amtrak corridor from as far north as Boston & as far south as Virginia, i'd prefer the train to the plane ... often the curb-to-curb was the same (or better); I could hop on board and graba bite right away; and I didn't need to wait for permission to go pee. Plus, I could use my cellphone or wireless laptop. Ahhh.... Now I'm amazed at the luggae caravans some jerks try to bring on-board - even Southwest, where you can check 2 bags for free ...
Mr. Teflon at August 17, 2010 12:23 PM
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