Were You A Lazy, Syphilitic Peasant?
They're the self-important, goofy fairy tales of our time -- people's pronouncements about who they were "in a past life."
Unfortunately, there seems to be a sudden dearth of embarrassment at proclaiming, entirely sans evidence, that you were previously, oh, I dunno, a lazy, syphilis-spreading peasant (only it's always something more interesting and aggrandizing than that, and nobody ever claims to have been the ladies' shower room matron at Auschwitz).
Lisa Miller writes in The New York Times:
IN one of his past lives, Dr. Paul DeBell believes, he was a caveman. The gray-haired Cornell-trained psychiatrist has a gentle, serious manner, and his appearance, together with the generic shrink décor of his office -- leather couch, granite-topped coffee table -- makes this pronouncement seem particularly jarring.In that earlier incarnation, "I was going along, going along, going along, and I got eaten," said Dr. DeBell, who has a private practice on the Upper East Side where he specializes in hypnotizing those hoping to retrieve memories of past lives. Dr. DeBell likes to reflect on how previous lives can alter one's sense of self. He, for example, is more than a psychiatrist in 21st-century Manhattan; he believes he is an eternal soul who also inhabited the body of a Tibetan monk and a conscientious German who refused to betray his Jewish neighbors in the Holocaust.
Belief in reincarnation, he said, "allows you to experience history as yours. It gives you a different sense of what it means to be human."
What I want a sense of is how you say that with a straight face.
My advice? Be interesting and live an interesting life instead of making up shit about how interesting you've been for centuries.
Loved Kate Coe's comment on Facebook about the DeBell nitwit's remark that he was a caveman in a past life:
Everyone was a caveman, dude. Distressing that a guy with a medical degree believes in this.
More from Miller's piece (of course, the "separating fools and their money" aspect continues!):
Peter Bostock, a retired language teacher from Winnipeg, Manitoba, says that in the early 1880s he managed a large estate -- possibly Chatsworth -- in Derbyshire, England.In a twist that would make Jane Austen blush, he thinks he was in love with the soul of his current wife, Jo-Anne, then embodied as a cook in the estate's kitchen. Married to someone else, Mr. Bostock could not act on his feelings.
He says he and his wife share the kind "of attraction and recognition that a soul makes when it encounters the familiar." In that spirit, the couple traveled last month to Rhinebeck, N.Y., where they and more than 200 others paid $355 each to attend a weekend seminar run by one of America's pre-eminent proselytizers on the subject of reincarnation, Dr. Brian Weiss.
On this second, sweltering day of the seminar, Dr. Weiss, a 65-year-old Florida resident with a hawk-like visage and placid blue eyes, was wearing a polo shirt the color of robins' eggs. He took a break from teaching and, over a healthy lunch, reflected on the rise of interest in the West in reincarnation. Like Dr. DeBell, he is a psychiatrist with an Ivy League pedigree (Columbia University and Yale Medical School).
Dr. Weiss was censured by the medical establishment in 1988 after he published "Many Lives, Many Masters." In it he details his work with a patient he calls Catherine, who, under hypnosis, the book says, remembered multiple past lives, relieving her of paralyzing phobias. It has sold more than a million copies.
Now, Dr. Weiss said: "Doctors are e-mailing me. They're not so concerned with their reputations and careers. We can talk about this openly. And it's not just psychiatrists, but surgeons and architects."
Let's be open about who they are, shall we, so we'll know who's too dim to get our business.
I mean, if a doctor doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground, how can he possibly find his way up yours with that latex glove?







Belief in reincarnation, he said, "allows you to experience history as yours.
The wording of this makes me think that the good doctor doesn't really believe. "Belief in reincarnation allows..." as opposed to "reincarnation means..." I'd think the true believers would be more definite on the point that reincarnation exists. He makes it sound like a device thought up to let people feel better about who they are now by making believe they were good people before. A Cornell-trained psychiatrist would understand that motivation, I'm sure.
Stories like the one about Catherine above make me cringe and laugh at the same time. It's incredibly easy to implant false memories in people using hypnotism. And not just past lives or scary stuff like the kids who had supposedly repressed memories of Satanic rituals at their day care. I just had a professor who's a clinical psychologist and he asked a friend if he could hypnotize him and try to make a false memory. He told the friend that he did something different when he came into the house before (picking up a doughnut and putting it back, I think) and the friend had a clear memory of doing it when he was asked what he did when he came into the house.
I want to ask these brain doctors where those memories are stored between lives, as our DNA isn't always connected to an actual brain. We all start out as one ovum from many fertilized by one sperm from many. Where are these memories held while we're developing? Is there some sort of facility that holds them between lives until we're ready?
Holy hell. These psychiatrists have discovered that we're all frakking Cylons.
NumberSix at August 29, 2010 2:05 AM
Didnt you see the finale of Battlestar Galactica?
Were all alien/human/cylon hybrids.
See
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5E3bDfjwW4
FYI Sebaceans not only look like us but they are also our genetic cousins
lujlp at August 29, 2010 2:48 AM
You've missed a glaring problem with reincarnation: numbers.
There just weren't that many people back a few dozen millennia. Tell me where these new "souls" (in quotes because no one seems to agree what one is) came from.
Radwaste at August 29, 2010 6:39 AM
There were less people, but more forests, so the people used to be trees? Or maybe the souls were hanging out in Heaven or some other place waiting for their next turn?
Maybe I was a wooly mammoth in my past life!!!
NicoleK at August 29, 2010 7:25 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/08/29/past_lives.html#comment-1747690">comment from NicoleKI see no reason to believe I had "a past life," and I don't have an astrological sign, and when I die, it's unlikely that I'm going to "a better place," since "better" wouldn't be "buried six feet under and being eaten by worms."
Amy Alkon
at August 29, 2010 7:39 AM
There's a funny bit of dialogue on this theme at the end of Bull Durham. Sarandon's flakey character claims to have been Francis of Assisi or Catherine the Great in a previous life, and Costner says, "How come it's always someone famous? No one ever says he used to be just Joe Schmo in a previous life."
kishke at August 29, 2010 7:42 AM
Couldn't read all that - too cringeworthy. In this life are many gullible fools.
Thag Jones at August 29, 2010 7:50 AM
Ok caveman then life as a rabbit to a fly it almost becomes dirty soul swapping.
Maybe this is where the term Old soul comes from so do you trust a guy that beleaves in recycled souls?
RexRedbone at August 29, 2010 7:57 AM
$ 200 X 355 = $ 71,000
Not a bad take for a weekend. Pays better than actually healing the sick and all that other dull doctor stuff.
"...a conscientious German who refused to betray his Jewish neighbors in the Holocaust"
How about a cowardly German with no conscience who eagerly betrayed his Jewish neighbors in the Holocaust?
Martin at August 29, 2010 8:50 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/08/29/past_lives.html#comment-1747714">comment from MartinA cowardly syphilitic one!
Amy Alkon
at August 29, 2010 8:59 AM
In a previous life, I was Jack the Ripper. I was very misunderstood.
Rad beat me to it on the math thing. Going by the conventional wisdom that two-thirds of all people who have ever lived are alive today, it's obviously impossible for all of them to have had a past life, at least as a human.
There are several amusing things about astrology. The big one is that the zodiacal constellations are, today, not in the sky in the places where astrology says they are, due to the precession of the Earth's axis. For example, by the conventional astrology charts, I'm a Scorpio, but on the day I was born, the sun was actually in Libra.
Here's another one: how many zodiacal constellations are there? Answer: thirteen! There's a zodiacal constellation called Ophiuchus that most astrologers completely ignore. Ophiuchus "splits" Scorpius (the sun goes into Scorpius, then enters Ophiuchus, then leaves it and goes into another part of Scorpius). So astrologers treat it as part of Scorpius. But if you go back to the mythology that astrology is based on, Ophiuchus and Scorpius were totally different characters. So ascribing the characteristics of Scorpio to people who were actually born into Ophiuchus is doin' it wrong, by astrology's own rules.
As it happens, going by the dates that astrologers use, my sign is actually Ophiuchus. I like to blow people's minds with that when they ask me my sign. I tell them, "I'm the thirteenth constellation! Mwahahaha!" I've actually freaked out a few astrology believers with that.
Cousin Dave at August 29, 2010 9:06 AM
Ok.
Get out the tar, feathers, and strait jacket, and alert the psych ward.
I've believed in reincarnation since I was around 10 years old with no brainwashing from anyone.
I feel the same way about 40? lovely virgins waiting for suicide bombers, as all of you do about reincar. Their (terrorists) beliefs are furthered by Muslim extremists. Mine comes from-----?
For me, it explains difficulties in my life NOT caused by bad decisions or stupidity.
I've had to work hard at new skills, due to some undiagnosed learning disabilities. (I was born way before educators and professionals were able to diagnose.) I have an above average IQ, attended college, was successful in my work, but had to work my ASS off.
1.My emotional IQ is very high, and I am creative in a global way. That means I have NO specific artistic skills, but long for them and have worked on them HARD! I've been told I'm a creative thinker.
2. I love children, and understand them, but, I'm unmarried and childless. I've loved babies with a passion since I was two years old. Children are drawn to me.
Because of various circumstances, shyness when I was young, and basic homliness, I never met someone where BOTH of us clicked. I would NEVER marry to settle.
3.I've tried to learn more languages as an adult, and learn to play the violin, for which I have a passion. I've failed at both. I watch others with no passion, but real skill, sail through.
The above 3 comments explain why I feel like I'm paying for past mistakes in a probably very mundane past life, as a bad mother, or a musician who didn't appreciate his talents, but used them as his gain. I know I'm rationalizing desperately, but It's better than feeling angry and sorry for myself. So many people take so much for granted, like beauty, brains, artistic ability, and have no idea how the "other side" lives.
Believing in Karma keeps me going. I am still a happy person on many levels, have many friends, a killer sense of humor , and definitely try to make the world a decent place.
This is way too long--- But have at me and make a field day of derision and ridicule. I believe it, and that's how I make sense out of this world.
siobhan at August 29, 2010 9:07 AM
Cousin Dave
It's interesting, after my above rant, that I think Astrology, the horoscope thing, blah blah,are total bullshit!
siobhan at August 29, 2010 9:15 AM
"Tell me where these new "souls" (in quotes because no one seems to agree what one is) came from."
Some people were cockroaches, can't you tell?
bradley13 at August 29, 2010 9:19 AM
"...a conscientious German who refused to betray his Jewish neighbors in the Holocaust"
How about a cowardly German with no conscience who eagerly betrayed his Jewish neighbors in the Holocaust?
Posted by: Martin at August 29, 2010 8:50 AM
A cowardly syphilitic one!
I was just wondering--- who was Mel Gibson in a past life? Sarah Palin? Dick Cheney?
See, I can joke about my beliefs!
siobhan at August 29, 2010 9:19 AM
If you're doing the reincarnation thing, you probably should think about yet another factor obvious to me, but apparently hidden to the confused: Act today so that your future self will be proud of you. So many people, of whatever religious or other ideology, make excuses for themselves instead of getting on with the nasty, brutish and short lives they must lead. If you must use armor, keep it shiny!
Radwaste at August 29, 2010 10:05 AM
There's also the possibility that souls are like amebas, and split into two new souls. That would explain why so many people were Cleopatra!
C'mon guys. Some imagination please!!!
NicoleK at August 29, 2010 10:21 AM
Radwaste-
That's exactly what I'm doing, and have for as long as I can remember. I'm not making excuses, just looking for answers. My intent is to make the world better, and treat people with respect until they show they don't deserve it.
I was raised by smart,decent parents.
siobhan at August 29, 2010 10:23 AM
Belief in reincarnation, he said, "allows you to be fleeced."
Fixed it.
mpetrie98 at August 29, 2010 11:13 AM
FYI Sebaceans not only look like us but they are also our genetic cousins
Posted by: lujlp at August 29, 2010 2:48 AM
Well duh, they came from Earth originally. :)
Sio at August 29, 2010 11:26 AM
I believe it, and that's how I make sense out of this world.
Like I said above, this makes it sound like a construct rather than fact. That's why I question if you and others really believe in reincarnation.
luj: I did see the finale, but I figure that our one half-human/half-Cylon ancestor 150,000 years ago has been pretty diluted. I think we need to ask these doctors about the secret to resurrection since all this has happened before.
NumberSix at August 29, 2010 12:25 PM
Leaving aside whether reincarnation actually occurs or not, some of its proponents remind me of less-than-realistic genealogy enthusiasts. Attending a genealogy conference some years back, I heard a lecturer talk about how people who would want to research a dashing mysterious ancestor, thought to be a highwayman, finally brought to justice at the scaffold. Often, they would be disappointed to find out that their "highwayman" turned out to be some slob who perished when he fell drunk from a wagonload of manure!
Old RPM Daddy at August 29, 2010 12:58 PM
Cousin Dave, I'm going to ask my friend about the astrology stuff you mentioned since she's a licensed astrologer (who knew there was such a thing?). Also of note us that there are several different astrology methods of reading, some that are far more precise and take into account more areas. Supposedly, most astrologers only know and do the basic, simplistic reading where many things are disregarded. Whether this is entirely true or not, I have no idea.
BunnyGirl at August 29, 2010 1:03 PM
I'm overwhelmed by the sheer stupidity of this comment. If you're of the misguided mindset that existence is taking up new lives from the beginning when the old ones wear out, it would stand to reason that we were ALL once cavemen.
Duh...
Patrick at August 29, 2010 1:12 PM
One more wonderful factor: in 100 years, all of the 6-point something billion people alive today will be dead.
And the population curve looks like THIS.
Did you know that in a nuclear war scenario, over two billion people die due to starvation after Western agriculture and transportation fail?
Hey, don't worry about your "past""soul" - it was probably Minbari. Yeah, that's it. Worry about whether the rats will kill you before the bright boys figure out how to control overpopulation.
Radwaste at August 29, 2010 1:17 PM
Cousin Dave:
Conventional wisdom? Conventional ignorance is a more apt description. Even considering the world's population 50 years ago, and considering how many of them could possibly be alive today, should quickly make us realize that 2/3 of the population throughout history being alive today is a ridiculous notion.
According to Population Today, as of 2002, an estimated 106 billion people have been born, meaning less than 6% of the people born since the dawning of the race are alive today.
Patrick at August 29, 2010 1:27 PM
"Were You A Lazy, Syphilitic Peasant?"
Well not lazy....
Joe at August 29, 2010 3:04 PM
I mean, if a doctor doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground, how can he possibly find his way up yours with that latex glove?
I hope your proctologist isn't doing past -life regressions.
No telling what he may dig up.
siobhan at August 29, 2010 3:55 PM
Few people, of any age or state of health, want to even consider their own death. All of us, however, realize that death is inevitable. Consider its definitions: death is only the end of this life and the demise of this body. Unless you believe it is The End, death is also the threshold of a new beginning. How many possibilities follow this life? Few people have been so good that they have earned eternal paradise; fewer want to go to a place where they must receive punishments for their sins. Those who do believe in resurrection of their body hope that it will be not be in its final form. Few people really want to continue to be born again and live more human lives; fewer want to be reborn in a non-human form. If you are not quite certain you want to seek divine oneness, consider the alternatives. Lives are different; why not afterlives? Beliefs might become true.
This short life is just a speck in time; it is important to us because it now seems to be our speck. Look beyond yesterday, today and tomorrow, beyond Earth’s 4.5 billion years: consider eternity.
(from my e-book at www.suprarational.org on comparative mysticism)
Ron Krumpos at August 29, 2010 4:35 PM
Patrick, that math doesn't seem to add up. If we take it that homo sapiens evolved about 200,000 years ago (I've seen several different numbers), then Population Today's figure means that there have been an average of 530,000 births per year, every year since the species appeared. Given that there were about 130 million births worldwide last year, the average over time could work out to that, but there were an awful lot of early years where the total human population numbered less than a million. I see a Web page from Tulane University estimating the population of the Roman Empire at the time of Constantine (about 300 AD) as 56 million, and that would have been the bulk of the world's population at the time. Birth rates and total population declined when the Empire fell. I'll try to see what else I can dig up.
Cousin Dave at August 29, 2010 6:32 PM
"I see a Web page from Tulane University estimating the population of the Roman Empire at the time of Constantine (about 300 AD) as 56 million, and that would have been the bulk of the world's population at the time."
Nope. One word: China.
We're usually Euro-centric, don't blame you.
Radwaste at August 29, 2010 7:12 PM
I have no opinion about reincarnation. I certainly don't believe in heaven but I like to believe that something of us continues in some way. The idea that we live again is nice whether we remember the last life or not. Some days I think that this is it and it pisses me off because I have so many fucking diseases it hurts, and yet I am so much better off than others who live for so short a time in such incredibly shitty and inhumane conditions.
I do know that my high school sweetheart's mom told me that when my boyfriend was a toddler he had horrible nightmare's about being a soldier in the trenches in WW2. He actually spoke about his experiences yet he was no more than a baby, far too young to understand the concept of war let alone relay events as though speaking from first hand knoweldge.
Who knows, we will all find out eventually and the very least I find the knowledge that if there is nothing I will be dead and won't know to be disappointed.
Ingrid at August 29, 2010 8:52 PM
I would defer to the experts on this, and basing this on an average over something that grows exponentially makes ZERO sense.
In any case, it is far and away more plausible that the well-beyond-ridiculous idea that 2/3 of the people born on this planet are alive today.
Patrick at August 29, 2010 9:36 PM
Keith Olbermann graduated from Cornell too, so I'm not putting much stock in the Ivy League appeal to authority.
MarkD at August 30, 2010 10:09 AM
"Also of note us that there are several different astrology methods of reading, some that are far more precise and take into account more areas. Supposedly, most astrologers only know and do the basic, simplistic reading where many things are disregarded. Whether this is entirely true or not, I have no idea."
True or not, it's completely irrelevant. Historical astronomers (like Kepler) often ran astrological charts as a side business, but that anyone can still believe in astrology in the modern world never ceases to amaze me. Tarting it up with details does nothing to the underlying ridiculousness of the concept.
Or maybe I'm just annoyed at the number of times I've had to explain that I am not an astrologer and that astronomer is a whole different thing altogether.
Astra at August 30, 2010 11:44 AM
Ahem. Olbermann, IIRC, graduated from the agricultural side of that school. Apparently there is one side served by the short bus.
Radwaste at August 30, 2010 4:26 PM
Does anyone here know about the theory of Eternal Return?
Feebie at August 31, 2010 12:50 PM
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