Naomi Wolf Is Such A Nitwit
There's a piece by her about female rivalries in the November Bazaar. She writes "I've seen this dynamic again and again. When there is a female rivalry, it is not done with dispatch; blood gets left on the floor."
I know she means it to be a metaphor, but it's exactly the wrong one. Women are sneaky in their rivalries; men are more direct and the ones who would be likely to punch a rival in the mouth. As I've learned from evolutionary psychology research (and by being a living, breathing human being): Women fight wars of words, men fight with their fists.
Who's afraid of Naomi Wolf? Naomi Wolf? Naomi Wolf?
I would have agreed that this was the prevailing trend, although the lines seem to be blurred more and more these days.
Patrick at October 28, 2010 1:04 AM
Is the "blood on the floor" metaphor exactly wrong because of the connotations with menstruation?
Robert at October 28, 2010 2:16 AM
That's not the context, Robert.
Amy Alkon at October 28, 2010 7:12 AM
One thing I'll never understand is how two women can attack each other so visciously, get everyone else in their world involved and take sides, then make up like nothing ever happened.
A friend of my wife's a few years back actually started calling in the middle of the night making death threats to her and myself (I had nothing to do with their fight) and today they send each other flowery little emails about yoga and puppies.
Eric at October 28, 2010 11:11 AM
dunno, Amy... I've seen a lot less metaphor lately, and a lot more women actually getting physical. Which is bad because you neve know if they will try and guilt you, or whack you with something. But you're right about wolf.
SwissArmyD at October 28, 2010 11:25 AM
Immaturity. That shit they told us when we were kids about how girls mature faster than boys? Bullshit on stilts.
I've met my share of immature men, but the sheer volume of women I know who are 40-going-on-13 is staggering.
They do it because they think they can get away with it. And when it's "just words" there's no real fear of punishment.
Which is why men tend not to do that shit. A punch in the face is a real consequence for "just words" in man-land.
brian at October 28, 2010 12:12 PM
Brian's being just a little harsh. A little. I've been surprised how many woman made it past 30 but still thought it was cool to cry at work... Including women I'd admired (theretofore). None of them are presently employed as managers.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at October 28, 2010 1:19 PM
I have met few women who can actually lead.
Some may hold an office of authority, but that is different from actually leading.
One exception was an executive in a large corporation. She was a leader. Beyond that, I cannot think of any I have met personally.
Spartee at October 28, 2010 2:16 PM
>>Immaturity. That shit they told us when we were kids about how girls mature faster than boys? Bullshit on stilts.
Women naturally want the things that we associate w/ maturity - kids, a home, a stable lifestyle etc. Even when they're very young. But that doesn't mean that they're actually mature enough to maintain these things.
If my daughter had her way, she'd have a baby and her own house already, and she's just 15! But god help the guy who had to take care of her.
Norm at October 28, 2010 4:32 PM
I'm with Brian's general contention; the thing about girls maturing faster than boys is hogwash. They do gain social adeptness faster and thus can appear more mature. But social skills isn't all there is to maturity.
Cousin Dave at October 28, 2010 5:43 PM
I have two women who work for me who alternate between being best friends and arch rivals. I can never figure out what state they are in.
A couple of years ago they spent a summer refusing to talk to each other. I finally had a meeting with them and told them it had to stop or I would fire them. I later discovered that they would only appear to be civil in my presence, but continued the blood feud as soon as I left. Later that fall they could be seen giggling together like old school chums.
Now, I have had several male employees who don't like each other. They are cool towards each other, and they may mutter unflattering comments about each other, but never have they stooped to the childishness of speaking to each other through an intermediary while in the same room.
AllenS at October 28, 2010 11:27 PM
We've never stereotyped women as the rational sex.
There is a reason.
Robert at October 29, 2010 5:17 AM
As a woman, and the mommy of two boys, I can definitely say that girls don't mature faster than boys do. What girls do is develop the ability to sit still and pay attention sooner than boys. I think that may give the appearence of maturity to some.
I don't tolerate bitchiness and competition with female friends. I actually kicked one friend to the curb last year because it had become obvious that she had to be the prettiest/thinest/smartest girl in the room or else she would come unglued. Grow the f*ck up, would ya?
I, however, do not get how men can forgive so easily. I've seen some of my husband's friends do some really hurtful things to one another, and they all shrug their shoulders and say "Stop being such a dick, man." And that's it. Seriously?
Maybe my friend's husband and I came to the right conclusion. He said all women are crazy. I told him I'd give him that if he'd give me that all men are irretrievably stupid. He agreed. I agreed. So there it is.
UW Girl at October 29, 2010 10:13 AM
It's pretty plain to me that women and men are about equal in their level of competitiveness, but vary greatly from each other in the methods of and the prizes for which they compete. Neither women nor men seem comfortable about the things women compete for. Women's priorities--relationships and the subtleties of social status--are viewed as petty and small, despite our being wired to value and work for them. Most women like to airily declare themselves above such chicanery, and the men get to feel superior for having different hardwired interests.
Inapt metaphor aside, Naomi Wolf objects to female competition because she objects to any form of competition. In their unending quest to deny biological reality, liberals have decided that the official truth is that we (meaning mankind) are by nature peaceful and cooperative creatures. Indeed, they say, refusing to compete for what you want is the best strategy for getting it! Then they gently explain that it's better if we all cooperate and are nice. The countless centuries of war and violence and man's inhumanity to man are but an easily overcome bump on the road to enlightenment. Everyone just be nice!
L at October 29, 2010 11:23 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/10/28/naomi_wolf_is_s.html#comment-1773121">comment from LIt's pretty plain to me that women and men are about equal in their level of competitiveness
It might seem plain to you, but it seems unlikely to me. Male competitive behavior is fueled by testosterone, which women have far less of.
Amy Alkon at October 29, 2010 2:02 PM
We're not stupid, we just don't give a fuck. When we turn all your clothes pink? It's not because we don't know how to separate whites and colors, it's because we don't want to do the laundry.
brian at October 29, 2010 7:18 PM
"Women are sneaky in their rivalries"
Amen Amy. I work with 90% males and in my department there is only one other female. She has never said a word to me about how I do my job but she tried to get me fired and complains to everyone about me. Since everyone else is male their reaction is to just ignore her. I think they get annoyed. Anyways I eventually won her over to some degree but I do notice a difference in how the other dudes treat me and how they treat her. I always get a happy helpful response when I need help....her not so much.
purps at October 30, 2010 12:28 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/10/28/naomi_wolf_is_s.html#comment-1773429">comment from purpsYou could even generalize to "men tend to be direct and competitive, and women tend to be indirect and coalitional." (Women try to cooperate.)
Amy Alkon at October 30, 2010 12:30 AM
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