The National Day Of Parental Paranoia
That would be Halloween. Lenore Skenazy writes in the WSJ:
Even when I was a kid, back in the "Bewitched" and "Brady Bunch" costume era, parents were already worried about neighbors poisoning candy. Sure, the folks down the street might smile and wave the rest of the year, but apparently they were just biding their time before stuffing us silly with strychnine-laced Smarties.That was a wacky idea, but we bought it. We still buy it, even though Joel Best, a sociologist at the University of Delaware, has researched the topic and spends every October telling the press that there has never been a single case of any child being killed by a stranger's Halloween candy. (Oh, yes, he concedes, there was once a Texas boy poisoned by a Pixie Stix. But his dad did it for the insurance money. He was executed.)
Anyway, you'd think that word would get out: poisoned candy not happening. But instead, most Halloween articles to this day tell parents to feed children a big meal before they go trick-or-treating, so they won't be tempted to eat any candy before bringing it home for inspection. As if being full has ever stopped any kid from eating free candy!
So stranger danger is still going strong, and it's even spread beyond Halloween to the rest of the year. Now parents consider their neighbors potential killers all year round. That's why they don't let their kids play on the lawn, or wait alone for the school bus: "You never know!" The psycho-next-door fear went viral.
Then along came new fears. Parents are warned annually not to let their children wear costumes that are too tight--those could seriously restrict breathing! But not too loose either--kids could trip! Fall! Die!
Treating parents like idiots who couldn't possibly notice that their kid is turning blue or falling on his face might seem like a losing proposition, but it caught on too.
...We can kill off Halloween, or we can accept that it isn't dangerous and give it back to the kids. Then maybe we can start giving them back the rest of their childhoods, too.
The only danger my kids face at Halloween is if they don't immediately surrender all the Smarties to me. If I was to protect based on verified observed danger, it's the trees that need to go. (One broken arm, one teeth-loosening face-plant, and a bruised kidney from a back splat onto live oak roots.)
Mary Q Contrary at October 28, 2010 8:52 AM
The psycho-next-door fear went viral.
And yet, how many times have we heard on the news, when some mass murder or other horrific man-caused event has occured, that "oh, he was a quiet fellow, never caused any trouble and kept to himself"?
I R A Darth Aggie at October 28, 2010 8:56 AM
"Parents are warned annually not to let their children wear costumes that are too tight"
Not a problem here in Winnipeg. Costumes are bought/made large enough to fit over parkas.
Steamer at October 28, 2010 9:21 AM
I never understood the whole "candy inspection" thing. Unless the "crazy neighbor" was stupid enough to open the candy bar or leave a razor blade sticking out of the popcorn ball, you're not going to find anything...unless maybe the family pet it some sort of poison sniffing dog. I think parents just want to take stock of the candy for themselves. That's what I would do. Ohk, honey....you didn't know you're allergic to Smarties? Here, let mommy take them."
Mary Q, I went to my sister's house the other night and let her kids rifle through the candy I bought for the trick or treaters at work. My neice pulled out the bag of Smarties and said: "EW, who likes Smarties?!" I snatched them from her and said: "I do, these actually aren't getting put out for the kids. They're alllll mine!" Kids these days...no respect for the candy classics.
Kimmy at October 28, 2010 9:48 AM
There was a great comment in the Wall Street Journal, where Skenazy's opinion piece appeared. It was from a mother who valiantly protects her children by testing their candy before she lets them eat it. Her testing method? Taking a big bite out of each piece. She went on to say that Snickers and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups were especially problematic and had to receive a particularly thorough examination (eating the whole thing), and that licorice and hard candy were never a problem and could be left untested.
alittlesense at October 28, 2010 10:02 AM
When my kids were small, I believe the hospital used to let you come down and have the candy x-rayed. Like that radiation would be good for them. So silly.
lovelysoul at October 28, 2010 10:42 AM
I love Smarties.
Just to feed the flames of fear: Here's one I never heard anywhere else. When I was a kid, there was one year where I heard of a man who heated pennies in a frying pan and tossed them out to trick-or-treaters. He didn't throw them at the children, he just flipped them onto the sidewalk so kids could burn themselves picking them up.
That was before the days of parents going out with their kids, so if it actually happened, it probably wouldn't work today.
We don't get too many kids, but I always stock up on Halloween. The ones who do come know we have the good stuff.
Pricklypear at October 28, 2010 11:22 AM
I'm lazy so I'll probably just leave a bowl of candy out at the door. I live in a neighborhood with lots of kids this year so hopefully there will be no candy left over because I'll eventually eat the leftovers. I've left candy out at the door two years now. 1 for 2 as last year someone took the whole plastic pumpkin full of candy in less than an hour after I put it out.
Sio at October 28, 2010 11:49 AM
Too many idiots read Hansel and Gretel and too many other horror stories when they were growing up and lack the facility for discerning fantasy from reality.
You've probably met several. We call them "Progressives".
brian at October 28, 2010 12:15 PM
*****I never understood the whole "candy inspection" thing. Unless the "crazy neighbor" was stupid enough to open the candy bar or leave a razor blade sticking out of the popcorn ball, you're not going to find anything...unless maybe the family pet it some sort of poison sniffing dog. I think parents just want to take stock of the candy for themselves. That's what I would do. Ohk, honey....you didn't know you're allergic to Smarties? Here, let mommy take them." *****
No kidding. I'm 44, my dad "inspected" our candy just so he could pick out the good stuff for himself. He was lucky in that I hated those black and orange wax paper wrapped maple candies, and he LOVED them. He always got a good haul out of my bag. We always fought over the Snickers, though. :D
He was a opportunist, for sure.
Ann at October 28, 2010 12:40 PM
Well, there IS one big danger on Halloween - cars!
All too often, drivers simply cannot see short (i.e., under 5 feet), unaccompanied kids whose costumes do not glow in the dark. Keep that in mind.
BTW, columnist Derrick Jackson DID once find a razor blade in his daughter's candy (pre-1993), which she got either from a party thrown by the local parents or from trick-or-treating from familiar houses - it was apparently INSIDE one of the mini-bags! (M&Ms. Jackson contacted the factory, too, just to let them know.) But I certainly don't assume that that happens more than once a year or so in the entire U.S., or we'd HEAR about it, wouldn't we?
lenona at October 28, 2010 12:58 PM
I always inspected my kids' candy as well. There were two reasons for this. The first was so I could pick out the stuff I wanted. The second was so I could restock the supply with all the stuff that none of us would eat.
sara at October 28, 2010 1:58 PM
Not too many kids in our neighborhood, so my wife usually takes the kids to another area for trick-or-treat, a kind of commuters' Holloween. I'll sit on the stoop with the candy bowl for what few kids we will get.
Off on a little tangent: When I was small, I remember other kids talking about the "really rich family" who always seemed to live just outside convenient trick-or-treating distance, which distributed "great big candy bars" and "whole cans of soda" to the little beggars. I never knew where this house was, and of course learned to identify urban legends when I heard them, but I guess everyone has stories like that.
Old RPM Daddy at October 28, 2010 2:40 PM
"And yet, how many times have we heard on the news, when some mass murder or other horrific man-caused event has occured, that "oh, he was a quiet fellow, never caused any trouble and kept to himself"?"
There was a shooting at a school down here in San Diego a few weeks ago where children were hurt, but none killed (thankfully). I was shocked to hear the reports later that the guy was, in fact, a complete nut job and not the usual like you mention. The guy was known for randomly yelling obscenities and such out the window apparently.
He's the first one I've seen described as http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/2010/oct/09/accused-school-shooter-described-angry-loner/ an angry loaner vs the usual nice, quiet guy.
Miguelito at October 28, 2010 4:35 PM
augh the entire time I was growing up, our city banned trick-or-treating on Halloween night. It was during the day (noon-4) and moved to the Sunday before Halloween so that parents could accompany their kids. The idea was that it was too dangerous to let a bunch of kiddos run around after dark, but isn't the spookiness sort of the point? Anyway, they recently changed it to Halloween night, now that I'm too old to Trick Or Treat. Figures.
sofar at October 28, 2010 5:06 PM
I'm with you, sofar...so far...sorry. I loved, loved, loved trick-or-treating when I was a kid, and it was not about the candy. Well, it was a little about the candy. But I loved the whole idea of Halloween. My mom made me awesome costumes. One year, she made me a flapper outfit that I wore three years in a row, and I only stopped because I got too big and it started ripping in the back. And we sold that costume for twenty bucks at a yard sale that year. My dad always took me trick-or-treating if I wasn't going with a friend's parents. And spookiness was the point for me. Thankfully, I was already a teenager when my area started the daylight trick-or-treating and/or before-Halloween trick-or-treating. Scaring yourself by wondering what was going to jump out of the trees (or off the neighbor's porch, in the case of one house that would have life-size scarecrows and zombies and the like, with one of them being a real person that would grab at you as you left) at you was one of the best parts, and I lived in a nice, safe, family-oriented suburban neighborhood.
When I read stories like this, I say a silent thank you to my parents, who were much too sensible to let that crap scare them. I was more likely to be injured tripping over furniture, anyway. Ha! I say "was" like it doesn't still happen.
This reminds me of when we had a pedophile scare when I was a kid. There was a white Cadillac sedan with two men driving around neighborhoods in the area, and we all knew about it. Know what our parents did? Told us to come tell them immediately if we saw a car like that, not to get in the car and to scream and run if someone tried to take us away. We were still allowed to play outside. Well, two friends and I saw the car one day and ran to the nearest house. That parent called the cops and the two men were arrested right there in our neighborhood. I thank the Gods my parents taught me how to be sensible and not paranoid.
NumberSix at October 28, 2010 8:24 PM
My kid loves, loves, LOVES to play outside by himself. I would no more stop him from doing that than I would chain him to the closet door and hand him a pack of smokes!
Ditto for Halloween. My kid, as a TWO-year-old, walked FOUR MILES trick-or-treating. Never underestimate the physical endurance of a toddler after free candy! I'd say that on balance, this holiday does more to ensure the continued good health of my kid than most phys ed classes!
Melissa G at October 29, 2010 4:53 AM
"Like that radiation would be good for them. So silly."
Yes, you are. X-raying doesn't result in contamination. If it did, you'd contaminate others after a chest x-ray.
(note my handle - it's my job)
-----
About Halloween costumes: my amazement is reserved for the parents who let their cuties out in Elvira costumes, or less.
Radwaste at October 29, 2010 6:29 AM
The olny death I can remeber last halloween in the Pheonix area happened when a car ran over a kid.
From what I remember the PARENT decided to jaywalk across a busy poorly lit street.
lujlp at October 29, 2010 9:16 AM
Oh, I had forgotten the fun of getting the crap scared out of you.
One year, one of our neighbors left her teenage son and his friend to pass out candy. One of them dressed up like a scarecrow and sat on the porch.
As soon as the first kid gave you candy, the scarecrow would reach out and touch you.
I have never ran so fast in my life. The kid at the door probably wet himself laughing.
Flash forward about 20 years and a bunch of us dressed up and sat around my boyfriend's lawn scaring the crap out of the kids as they came up to the door for candy. We were the most popular house in the neighborhood, and it was a BLAST. I can't wait to get another chance to do that.
Ann at October 29, 2010 1:51 PM
Ann, I went to a party at a friend's house one Halloween in middle school. I was walking up the driveway by myself and saw Frankenstein's monster standing in front of the house. At first I thought it was a man in a costume, but it never moved, so I thought it was a prop. I was wary, though, and kept my eye on him until I got close enough to decide that it was definitely a prop. Which was when he reached out and touched my arm, sending me jumping about five feet back. Turns out it was my friend's dad, who was tall to begin with, but added 6" platforms to his boots to make him an even 7'. Then the fun part was going inside and waiting until the next person walked up to the house so I could giggle at her screaming in surprise.
NumberSix at October 29, 2010 10:59 PM
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