Sure, but, assuming one of you has a job... don't you have a chance to miss them?

And I LOVE sleeping with my husband. It's awesome.

Please don't call him "Pookie," or her, either, espcially if one or both of you are from the Philippines. There, "pookie" is colloquial Tagalog for, well, what women have one of and men have none of.

Regarding togetherness, I think it helps if both people have places or times where they can be alone and unbothered by the other. My wife knows not to pester me when I'm watching the game, and if she's watching Asian TV, she knows she's safe from me.

I hate pet names. She called her last boyfriend "pookie", she calls you "pookie", and she'll call the next one "pookie" too. She's not talking to you, you're just the current, entirely replaceable "pookie of the moment". On the positive side, I suppose it prevents her calling out the wrong name during sex... Pet names = ick

My husband told me he likes pet names because they help him with intimacy, and he asked me which one I'd like. He gave me a few options. I said pet names are like nicknames: You really can't pick your own. So he picked one for me, but he never calls me that. Ever. I guess I just don't lend well to pet names.

He and I have been married for six months, living together for about 2 years, and I still like it better when he's there than when he's not. Both of us are ridiculously easygoing, though.

Pookie is awful. I call my husband "babe". Or Dave. Since that's his name.

His ex girlfriend thought that sharing everything meant achieving true intimacy, and that not sharing something was a barricade against relationship happiness. One time she said that they should keep the door open when they went to the bathroom. He figured that meant #1. Well. One day he went in to do a #2, shutting the door behind him. She barges in and he's all "WTF?!" and she says something to the effect of "I'm going to watch you while you poop b/c it'll bring us closer together". I laughed hysterically at this story and didn't believe it really happened.

She was batshit crazy. Which worked out just fine for me.

I have some pretty clear House Rules which include things like keeping the bathroom door shut and politely fumigating it with Febreeze when you're done. Also. If you miss the toilet that's understandable - but please wipe it up. I can't imagine having him wipe up my urine so I'm not sure why guys think their ladies would want to.

I 100% agree with needing your own space. My clothes are all in the guest room and he keeps all his in the office (re: HIS office). He'll get annoyed if I am a bit sloppy with putting my clothes away - which I am admittedly lazy about. Yet, he gets to trash the office? I made this point to him, about how it wasn't fair I didn't get a space to do what I wanted with and he does. He didn't think of it like that but since then he's laid off a bit. If we have company I clean it up but sometimes I like to allow myself to be a little lazy about stuff, yanno?

Come on, does calling somebody "Honey" really suck away their individuality and sexuality?

I live in the South, so maybe this is a regional thing, but when you walk into a restaurant with sit-down service (and sometimes, without), you'll be greeted with a "hey honey" or, "sugar", or "sweetie".

Old RPM Daddy got there first. I knew my husband was accustomed to spending time in his library every day, and that hasn't changed, and it's fine with me.

The thing is we really like each other. We have been overly comfortable (by these author's rules anyway) for a long, long time.

I still look forward to seeing him every night, and I am not about to "fix" something that isn't broken.

Now maintenance is another thing. When we notice we've started living like frat boys (again) we tidy up the place, have a nice date which actually involves dressing up and going outside and commingling with other people, etc. before retreating back into our lair.

And oh yeah, we don't have pet names. We call each other whatever silly-ass endearment comes to mind.

Maybe tonight I'll call him Pookie just to see the look on his face.

I call my wife "woman" and she calls me "asshole"... seems to work for us

It's one thing to call your partner Babe or Honey, but please stay away from the cutsie names. Especially in public. And for God's sake, don't insist that your partner call you one of those names in public.

My wife and I are exceedingly easygoing. she is the first woman I have ever been with that didn't see my picking up a book or a newspaper as a signal to ask question after question.

We have our time apart, but we can spend an evening together doing something together or we can respect that the other wants to read a book and find something to do on out own.

My wife has a small cleaning company and keeps the apartment immaculate. I am not allowed to clean (although I did when she was laid up after an operation).

And get this. A couple of weeks ago, I was installing roll out shelves in a cabinet she had asked me to make and just before noon, she reminded me that my football game was about to start and I should pack up the tools so I don't miss the kick off. This one's a keeper!

We don't do pet names, we do appreciation combined with flirtation. He fixes my car, and I tell him there's nothing sexier than a guy with mad skills and rough hands. We go to a movie and he asks what I want to see, I tell him "Expendables" rather than "Eat, Pray, Love", which gets me recognized as the coolest hot chick he's ever known.

Keepin' it fresh after 16 years, and embarrassing the hell out of our kids in the process. Doesn't get better'n this.

Oh, and no dropping a deuce while the other one is trying to brush their teeth. That's just wrong on so many levels.

From the comments on the book ...

Maybe the late, great Rodney Dangerfield was right when he said, "My wife and I take separate vacations; he eat our meals apart. We sleep in separate bedrooms. We're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together!"

I don't hit her in the face, and she doesn't kick me below the belt.

Karate class. Which we also do together. However, our work schedules don't exactly mesh so we each get our alone time. Our gym routines are different, so we aren't together there even when we are there together. It works for us.

yeah, some of this stuff is good... but you have to be careful. That you don't discover that the reason they prefer you to have your own spaces, is becasue they actually would prefer it if you were gone.

all the cool stuff about being independent and doing your own thing was neat until I discovered that it meant that she was interested in having kids and having her lifestyle paid for. What she wasn't interested in was me, except where I would be legally bound to pay for it all. some things are warning signs, and what they say could just as easily be a warning as a good relationship.

I'd say if you do that stuff unmarried? Probably dandy... once you get married, you should keep a closer eye. But yeah, not when either are in the bathroom... that should defineitely be alone time.

When I get married we are have having separate bathrooms. Do you people know how MUCH makeup I have?

When I get married we are have having separate bathrooms.

Separate bathrooms contributes substantially to marital happiness.

I think many of the problems caused by people living together have more to do with unrealistic expectations. I know women in their 40's who have no sense of themselves and define themselves by their relationships. That gets old fast and I can see a man feeling smothered by that. I haven't lived with a man in 10 years, since my divorce, and I have trouble sometimes imagining sharing my space with anyone again. Its a hard question because I'd like to have a relationship in the future but I'm not sure if I want to live with anyone or marry anyone again.

I don't know about the specific advice to avoid pet names, but the broader point regarding the dangers of becoming too familiar may have some merit.

A lot of people I know go through the same cycle over and over. They fix themselves up, meet someone, move in together, gain 30lbs, stop having sex, break up, and repeat the same pattern all over again.

Many people seem to go from dating to cohabiting very quickly, and I wonder whether this is partly motivated by their desire to avoid the work of dating. Because the change they go through once they're settled suggests that they need to put a lot of effort into keeping it together.

I married late, after a lot of failed relationships. What I finally learned was to be as polite to your husband as you would be to a best friend. So I say please, thank you and treat him practically like a guest. We've been married 17 years.

Basically, the deal is, take pleasure in making the person you're with happy.

Amen. And remember to play together. It's really easy in long relationships to forget the importance of going out and doing things in a spirit of fun and adventure.

When we were still dating, I found out my husband was actually very offended I hadn't given him a pet name. To him, it meant that he was more to me than just "Jeremy" and he had levelled up to a "sweetie" or whatever. So now he's "pumpkin". I haven't heard my name since we got married. I think I've been "sweetie" and "wifey" ever since. ^_~ Doesn't bother me, though it took a while to get used to, tho. And I still use his name frequently, as I think it's odd to just call someone "pumpkin" in a serious conversation.

Alone time is important, as is having your own space. I allow my sweetie to go out with the guys at least once a week, and I go out with my girlfriend once a week (usually). He has his own room because he's a collector, and I don't clean or step foot in there.

On the other hand, we go to bed at the same time every night (even if one of us has to get up cuz we can't sleep), and we almost always shower together (I think its sexy). We eat dinner together, even if one of us is working late, and we don't have a TV in the bedroom. So we have ample togetherness, and easy "retreats" as well. It's all about balance.

I once heard a co-worker talking to the phone, and saying stuff like "Yes, my own. I know, my own, but--" etc. My own this, my own that. I thought it was cute for a pet name once, but sheesh.

When she got off the phone I teased her about it. Turned out she was talking to someone called Maione. Pronounced my own. I was a little relieved.