It's God's Fault
Via my man Gregg, Buffalo Bills wide receiver Steve Johnson dropped what would have been the game-winning touchdown against the Pittsburgh Steelers -- but, you have to understand, it really wasn't his doing. He blames...God!
@steviejohnson13 I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!!!!! AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME!!!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS??? HOW???!!! ILL NEVER FORGET THIS!! EVER!!! THX THO...
Beyond the fact that there's no evidence there is a god, I just love the notion all these people have that god is supremely interested in their little lives. I'm going out to the discount Paris drugstore to buy sunblock. I think there's a very, very, very good chance that god will not have me run over by a French taxi for refusing to believe in god -- or anything -- sans evidence.
Ah, the all caps tweet. There's really no better way to convey one's anger over the interwebs than a sticky Caps Lock button and multiple exclamation points.
I love this: YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS???
Well, yeah, dude. Since you believe God has a vested interest in your life, you might want to read your Bible. It's all about having crap happen to you and learning things. Why you need a higher power to make you learn from your life, I don't know, but I digress. Since I'm the generous sort, I'll see if I can divine the lesson you were supposed to learn from your incomplete pass. Through much thought and reflection, I've come to the conclusion that the answer is...HOLD ON TO THE DAMN BALL!!!! See, I can do angry Caps Lock, too.
I also dearly, dearly love this: ILL NEVER FORGET THIS!! EVER!!! THX THO...
To paraphrase one of my favorite "West Wing" moments, it's the ellipsis that makes it art.
NumberSix at November 29, 2010 1:00 AM
You will surely be familiar with the behavioral work of B. F. Skinner. He did experiments on superstition, using pigeons (for example). In a nutshell: if you feed the pigeon at intervals that have nothing to do with the pigeon's activities, the pigeon will invent completely wild correlations.
Here's how it works
Food appears. The pigeon was doing something just at that time: perching, flapping, hopping, whatever. It will tend to repeat that behavior, in hopes of prompting more food. Since it spends more time repeating the behavior, the food tends to appear while it is doing so. Which confirms the bird's view that this behavior causes food to appear. The result is a cycle that winds up strongly reinforcing some completely meaningless behavioral pattern.
This is the basis for much of religion: "I prayed for X, and I got X, wow, praying really works!" However, humans are smarter than birds, and occasionally a contradiction raises its ugly head. The question now is: will he wake up? Or will he go back to hopping on his left foot with his head tucked under his wing, desperately believing that this produces touchdowns?
a_random_guy at November 29, 2010 2:28 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/11/29/its_gods_fault.html#comment-1790522">comment from a_random_guyThat would be B.
Amy Alkon at November 29, 2010 3:20 AM
Maybe he GOD (tm) felt he needed to be taken down a peg or two. Maybe he broke a commandment hey he is a football player I bet he broken the sabbath one a couple of times. So GOD felt he needed to punish him
I love the leaps of logic and self deception some religious people go through that as long as they have Jesus/Allah/Buddha in their mind and heart or that they pray to said deity. That is all I need to do - he/she or whatever will be good to me and let things slide in other areas. Okay I stole something but I believe in Jesus and he will forgive me - he has too. I took the Lord name is vain but I believe in God and he will understand that I only disrespected him a little. People rules are rules either follow them or not but do not expect to not to have things slide because of a factor.
You can not arrest me officer for stealing I am tax payer and a citizen. Blah Blah Blah.
Why are you sueing me for a couple of downloaded Metallica MP3s - I did buy one of their CDs years ago. it is fair right!? It balances out.
Holy Leaps of Logic Batman!
John Paulson at November 29, 2010 4:03 AM
I would say something about how it's clear that God hates the Bills given their Super Bowl disappointments of a couple of decades ago, but since we all know that those were caused by the Cigarette-Smoking Man from X-Files...
Seriously, seeing stuff like this reminds me why I get so uncomfortable when I see a singer/actor/athlete praise God in his/her award/victory acceptance speech. Are you implying that God hates the losers? It also reminds me why I generally avoid praying to have specific things happen -- i.e., I pray for guidance and for knowledge of the right path rather than for a specific occurrence to happen. Ultimately, Steve Johnson may benefit from having dropped this pass -- if it inspires him to work on his catching skills in practice, the extra tidbit of skill could prove the difference in a Super Bowl (to use an extreme example). That doesn't mean dropping this pass hurts any less *now*, of course, but sometimes the things we hate the most at the time they occur end up being among the best things to have happened to us.
And sometimes this isn't the case AT ALL. Maybe this was just a failure brought on by the statistical inability of any player to catch 100% of touchdown passes. But Steve Johnson seems quite content with the unfairness and the unpredictability of the world when it allows him to be wealthier than 99.99% of people in human history because of his ability to tackle guys and catch balls, so he might want to consider having a bit of humility when the odds bite him in a minor way. Either way, I think he should take this as a sign -- from God, the universe, the football gods, his fans, whatever -- that he needs to PRACTICE.
marion at November 29, 2010 4:24 AM
Methinks everybody's making a bigger deal out of this than Stevie Johnson is. He's just angry, frustrated, and embarassed. Johnson's Buffalo Bills had made a stunning comeback against a much more powerful Pittsburgh team, and in the last seconds, forced the game into overtime. Johnson could have won the game for them if he'd held onto that pass in the end zone, but he dropped it. The Steelers won the game with a field goal after that. Mr. Johnson will get over it long before everyone's done laughing at him here.
By the way, if the Almighty is frowning on any team, it has to be the Redskins. Or maybe Cincinnati.
Old RPM Daddy at November 29, 2010 5:07 AM
Normally I try to be respectful of people's religious beliefs, regardless of what I believe, but when I read about this yesterday, I had to laugh. A friend from high school posts similar things on Facebook. His business is failing and he constantly posts basically begging for money to have his lawn mowed, his electric bill paid etc. His one post actually read, "I trust in God and that after my 45 minute nap, HE will have changed my circumstances. My lawn will be mowed and my electric bill will be current. Praise Him!" My own comment, "That's a lot of pressure to put on God. Why not mow your own lawn with that free 45 minutes you have," got me unfriended.
Kristen at November 29, 2010 5:49 AM
Dude, you play for Buffalo. We need Andrew Luck in the draft, and a few more linemen. If you had caught the ball, we would be out of Luck, pardon the pun.
MarkD at November 29, 2010 5:51 AM
God probably made a killing.
Hitler is God's bookie... imagine the anguish.
Ben David at November 29, 2010 6:04 AM
> Ah, the all caps tweet.
Yeah... Quite beyond the phenomenology of it all, is their any finer example of tawdriness in 2010 than tweeting a complaint to the Almighty about a sports loss?
Crid [cridcomment at gmail] at November 29, 2010 6:37 AM
God's a Steelers fan? You'd think God would be a Saints fan.
Conan the Grammarian at November 29, 2010 8:51 AM
Maybe this was just a failure brought on by the statistical inability of any player to catch 100% of touchdown passes.
I'm not a Bills fan, but from what I've read, he's taking up a couple of other players' statistical inabilities, too. His teammates say he lacks focus.
NumberSix at November 29, 2010 10:54 AM
As the ball is snapped, Johnson takes off for the end-zone and prays; Oh God please let me run fast and beat the defenders to the end-zone. As the quarterback lops the ball into the air Johnson looks over his shoulder and prays; Oh God please let his throw be accurate! It’s a little far ahead of me; please let my feet move just a little bit faster. And as the ball arcs down into his hands and he pulls it into his body he cheers; Oh yes! I am the MAN!!! Then God gets pissed and the ball jumps out of his gloves, Johnson trips over his own feet, does a tumble and ends up on his ass with the ball in his lap – incomplete pass.
...Or, Johnson just needs more practice holding onto the ball, he is a receiver and all. I saw most of that game, and I have to say if the Bills were playing good, or had God’s blessing (whatever) it wouldn’t have been tied at the very end of the game. There is a reason football games are 3 hours long. Each game has many chances for one team to our-shine the other, and for every missed opportunity there will be consequences. I’m sure Johnson didn’t mean to blame God, and he was just upset at the missed opportunity; like God follows Steve Johnson on twitter ::eyeroll::
Miranda at November 29, 2010 11:34 AM
Wow.. no mentions yet of Jeff Stilson's comedy routine yet eh? I remembered seeing him on HBO or something years ago and saying this (found via google):
I'm trying to wean myself off sports, it's too time consuming. I don't watch football anymore, I gave that up. I got tired of the interviews after the games, because the winning players always give credit to God, and the losers blame themselves. You know, just once I'd like to hear a player say, 'Yeah, we were in the game, until Jesus made me fumble. He hates our team.'
I just think it's hilarious that it finally happened.
Miguelito at November 29, 2010 2:32 PM
For once, God is blamed for the loss of the game, instead of always being credited with helping the team win!!
Jennifer at November 29, 2010 3:38 PM
Awright I confess: I prayed that Johnson would drop the ball, and my prayer was answered!!
I hate those stoopid Buffalo Bills.
o.O
(Go Raiders!)
Flynne at November 29, 2010 5:12 PM
Go Steelers!
Ok, now that I have gotten that out of the way, of course God is a Steeler's fan. How else would their mysoginistic, sex predator QB have survived a head on collision on his motorcycle, while not wearing a helmet? I think God likes Gary Busey, too, tho I have no proof :P
Kat at November 29, 2010 6:43 PM
God's a Steelers fan? You'd think God would be a Saints fan.
God was angry at New Orleans for daring to name a team the Saints, and thus cursed them for decades. Then, the suffering from Hurricane Katrina softened God's heart, and he sent the Saints Breesus, which allowed them to rise up at last...
...plus, y'know, Tracy Porter apparently spends his time studying game film of opponents rather than issuing incoherent tweets.
marion at November 29, 2010 7:10 PM
"Then, the suffering from Hurricane Katrina softened God's heart, and he sent the Saints Breesus, which allowed them to rise up at last..."
Only to lose to the Browns in a truly epic Superbowl hangover.
"How else would their mysoginistic, sex predator QB have survived a head on collision on his motorcycle, while not wearing a helmet?"
It is amazing to me how many peeple in Pittsburgh wanted Rothlisberger off the team after the accusation. Apparently the old "Steeler's code" still means a lot to a lot of people. They say the mass "get rid of the bum" attitude shook him up enough that he's shaped up and become a real team player. Still, I wouldn't mind paying $25k to smack him myself. Nor would I wail and gnash my teeth if he were to get booted from the team. (Now, if Troy Palomalu were to do something like that my little heart would be broken)
Elle at November 29, 2010 11:01 PM
"Now, if Troy Palomalu were to do something like that my little heart would be broken"
Is that because you dig his hair?
Sorry. You can slap me now!
Old RPM Daddy at November 30, 2010 4:47 AM
Ha! No because I dig his ability to intercept the ball. Although that mane is truly epic.
Elle at November 30, 2010 7:51 AM
What makes you think there's no evidence for God? I argued myself into belief in God because of the evidence. That's not an uncommon phenomenon.
What would count for you as evidence for God? If I provided scientific evidence, would you say that science cannot by its nature prove God? Ditto for historical evidence? How about logical evidence, i.e. philosophical arguments? What evidence would it take to convince you?
Jim S. at November 30, 2010 10:34 AM
God is in the tweet-tales.
Conan the Grammarian at November 30, 2010 12:48 PM
"Ha! No because I dig his ability to intercept the ball."
I'm a Bengals fan. I'm a little too aware of Palomalu's pass coverage skills, although he's the least of Cincy's problems. *Sigh*
"Although that mane is truly epic."
That's what the Head and Shoulder people think, anyway. I wonder who pays him more: the Steelers or Proctor and Gamble?
Old RPM Daddy at November 30, 2010 1:30 PM
What would count for you as evidence for God? If I provided scientific evidence, would you say that science cannot by its nature prove God? Ditto for historical evidence? How about logical evidence, i.e. philosophical arguments? What evidence would it take to convince you?
Posted by: Jim S
I dont know, how about some ACCTUAL evidence instead of retorical questions about different types of evidence? Or is that too hard?
Seriously, list your evidence and see what happens - fyi philosophical arguments are not proof of god, the only thing they 'prove' is man's ability for abstract and circular reasoning
lujlp at November 30, 2010 4:37 PM
lujlp: I asked "what evidence would it take?" because for many people no amount of evidence would ever convince them that God exists, they simply assume it a priori.
So here is some evidence for God's existence. It is a type of cosmological argument that is very popular among philosophers today.
1. Everything that begins to exist has a cause. (This is the principle of causality which science presupposes.)
2. The universe -- matter, energy, space, and time -- began to exist. (Big Bang cosmology has established this. The evidence for it includes Einstein's relativity equations, the cosmic background radiation, etc.)
3. Therefore, the universe has a cause.
4. A cause exists independently of its effects. (Again, the principle of causality.)
5. Therefore, the cause of the universe exists independently of matter, energy, space, and time.
6. Therefore, the cause of the universe is immaterial, spaceless, timeless, and incredibly powerful.
Note that the only contentions in this argument are scientific in nature: the principle of causality is a metaphysical principle which science must presuppose. Big Bang cosmology has been established by scientific evidence. And the universe is matter, energy, space, and time by definition.
Jim S. at December 1, 2010 2:01 AM
Let me put it this way: given the scientific definition of the universe as matter, energy, space, and time -- and given the principle of causality, which science must presuppose -- any scientific evidence showing that the universe began to exist is scientific evidence for the existence of God.
Jim S. at December 1, 2010 3:09 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/11/29/its_gods_fault.html#comment-1791715">comment from Jim S.given the principle of causality, which science must presuppose -- any scientific evidence showing that the universe began to exist is scientific evidence for the existence of God.
We've got a lunch, so I'll be brief, but it's not hard to decimate this.
1. What caused god?
2. "any scientific evidence showing that the universe began to exist is scientific evidence for the existence of God" - uh, no. There COULD be evidence for the existence of naturally grown purple pumpkins, or a giant green omniscient gorilla, or god, but until there IS actual evidence, I'm not going to worship purple pumpkins, giant green omniscient gorillas, or participate in the gullible childishness that is belief in god.
Amy Alkon at December 1, 2010 3:24 AM
1. This is already answered. Everything that begins requires a cause. It is no part of the principle of causality to suggest that everything that exists requires a cause. It's the "beginning" part that brings causality into play, not the "existing" part. So unless we have a reason to think God began we cannot apply the principle of causality to him.
2. You don't really answer my claim. Given the scientific definition of the universe and given the principle of causality, any scientific evidence for the beginning of the universe is evidence for the existence of God. You don't counter this with invalid comparisons to ad hoc ideas.
Jim S. at December 1, 2010 5:31 AM
Many years ago, I read a book about a conflict between the gods and men. At the end of the conflict, the gods were defeated and straggling back to Olympus.
In the course of the conflict, the truth that man had created the gods was revealed - demolishing the long-believed belief on both sides that it had been the other way around.
Haphaestus was deeply shaken by this realization and kept shouting, "If they created us, who created them?" He never got an answer. Nor, I think, will we.
Conan the Grammarian at December 1, 2010 8:59 AM
Hey Jim S.: This is probably the wrong site for making arguments like yours, if for no other reason than it's nearly impossible to get people to agree on what the discussion is really about. You can't argue for or against the existence of God without a reasonably common definition of God to argue about. The usual result is fifty or sixty comments, some impassioned, some merely glib, and most unrelated to any other.
Old RPM Daddy at December 1, 2010 2:08 PM
Sorry Jim hat not evidence, that is supposition and conjecture. And didnt we already establish that phlisophical 'evidence' wouldnt be accepted?
Someone tried you agument, and alot better then you did, a while ago.
Amy already superimposed your agumnet on god. Ie if god exisits then what caused god?
But your argument assumes that existance 'began' at some point and is not an endlessly reapeating loop that has always existed.
We've bearly scratched the surface of the knowledge science holds, 50 yrs go the big bang wasnt even a theory, 500 yrs ago the earth was the center of all creation, 1000 yrs ago the gods required blood sacrifce in order to return the sun each day. 100,000 ys ago man didnt even posses the brain power to concive of anything beyond day to day survival.
And finally
1. Everything that begins to exist has a cause. (This is the principle of causality which science presupposes.)
2. I -- began to exist. (The fact that I am here now establishes that I came into being sometime ago in what we refer to in our 4 dimention context as "THE PAST")
3. Therefore, the I have a cause.
4. A cause exists independently of its effects. (Again, the principle of causality.)
5. Therefore, the cause of the ME exists independently of matter, energy, space, and time.
6. Therefore, the cause of the ME is immaterial, spaceless, timeless, and incredibly powerful.
See how stupid your argument is?
Now, you said you had scientific proof as well?
lujlp at December 1, 2010 2:36 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/11/29/its_gods_fault.html#comment-1791987">comment from lujlpOh, and is god Jesus, Allah, Zeus, The Great Pumpkin, or some other "diety"?
Amy Alkon at December 1, 2010 2:43 PM
lujlp: The only contentions in the argument I gave are scientific ones, not philosophical ones. (And no, we didn't establish that philosophical evidence wouldn't count. You just asserted it.)
My argument doesn't assume that the universe began, it gives evidence for it, namely, Big Bang cosmology. The idea that we're cycling through universes has been rejected by most cosmologists since the 1970s, although it has its occasional comebacks. I'm not sure what your point is about the Big Bang only having been discovered in the 20th century; we only discovered evolution in the 19th, but that doesn't call it into question.
The obvious problem with your argument is premise 5. Why would your cause have to exist independently of matter, energy, space, and time? It only has to exist independently of you. In other words, you didn't cause yourself, something else caused you.
Ms. Alkon: The argument is consistent with the Gods of the Abrahamic religions and some monotheistic forms of Hinduism. It is inconsistent with other religions. And I see again that you resort to making invalid comparisons to ad hoc ideas. That doesn't refute the argument.
I didn't mean to hijack the thread, this is just a subject that I know quite a bit about from both sides of the aisle.
Jim S. at December 1, 2010 3:11 PM
Jim the problem with your argument as I said assumes that the universe has a begining and is not a naturally occuring phenomena. What scant evidence we have been able to collect has been seen only form the perspective of our world, and with a few minor execeptions, still wholly contained within the gravataional sphere of our solar system. We literally have NO perspective on the universe.
Some cosmologists are now theorising that high eneregy membranse colliding are what cause the big bang event. So you would have to change your argument to something created the energy which after a certian time, and so on and so forth.
You are also now making the argument that you are not specifing any ONE god - just a deity of some sort or another. If that is true, which I seriously doubt, then why are you so invested in making us belive there is a god?
After all if you belive in an unknowable creator and not one of the thousands of knowable deities worshiped by man at one point or another, then an atheist is exactly what you want of people.
Because if you ever do find proof of a god they are the only ones who egos are not going to get in the way of them looking past their preconcived notions of what god is or should be.
lujlp at December 1, 2010 4:24 PM
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