> Many people of a certain age (certainly over 50)
> go absolutely ape if somebody says "No problem"

Ahem.

"Absolutely ape" overstates things, especially for those of us raised contexts –and nourished in careers– of service to youth culture.

"Aggrievedly simian", maybe.

Hmm. As one of the Over 50 set, I have no problem (heh) with "No problem" vs. "You're welcome", and I'm as likely to use it as one of the whippersnappers.

I say what my grandfather said… much obliged.

I think "You're Welcome" might carry a slight connotation of condescension, or "you owe me", but it sounds to my ears as higher on the politeness scale than "No problem."

I tend to say "No problem", or even "No problem, shit-for-brains."

In the category of miscellaneous verbal courtesies, "very good" and "very well" are under-appreciated. I wish they weren't thought of as talking white. I wish a LOT of things weren't thought of as talking white.

"No problem," "You're welcome," "Any time..." They're all fine with me if the person's intentions are polite. I'm 31. We're teaching Baby A "You're welcome," not "no problem."

I can understand why someone might find "no problem" to be less polite when it comes from a waiter or CSA- Like, it's not a problem for you to do your JOB? Well good for you! When I've had service-industry jobs, I always said "You're welcome," especially with boomers and older people.

Funny how it's changed during my lifetime. I grew up with "You're Welcome!" but now use "No problem!" all the time.

I like what they say at Chic-fil-a:

"It's my Pleasure"

People who are going to go ape over "no problem" as opposed to "you're welcome" are going to find something to go ape over. Does one sound nicer? Yes. But aren't there bigger problems in the world?

Ah, I'm 56 and find myself saying "No problem" more and more. To quote John McWhorter "Language always changes".

In some other languages the response usually translates to "It's nothing" or "It makes nothing" or "Doesn't matter". Wonder how people would respond if we said something like that!!???

As another over 50 year old, I do prefer "you're welcome" over "no problem", but it's not a big deal. At least there is an acknowledgement of the "thank you", much better than a grunt or a "yeah" that I've heard on occasion.

I tend to be a bit formal with strangers (courtesy of an early British upbringing, in Ascot no less) so I agree with Bryan - "my pleasure" is my standard response most of the time. "No problem" annoys me slightly but not enough to care much.

On the other hand, under certain circumstances the quintessential Aussie saying "no wucking forries" can work too...it all depends on who you're talking to.

And I must admit I have no idea how to spell that to get the accent across, so just in case I'll point out it's a spoonerism where the last word is "worries".

I honestly don't understand people who can't handle "no problem". Like someone said above, isn't there enough in the world to get upset over? Especially as far as manners are concerned - I mean, I'm grateful if someone says "have a nice day" anymore.

Of course, I'm an under-30, too. In my job (which involves one-on-one customer interactions all day), I tend to go with "No problem", "you're welcome", and "My pleasure" in that order. You get a "My Pleasure" if it really was fun to help that person. The other two are interchangeable.

Personally I find flipping out over the use of "no problem" ruder than the use of "no problem" in the first place.

I don't see what the big deal is. I think "no problem" is nice. It's indicating that if you put yourself for someone, you're letting them know it's "no problem."

Off-topic. Jules Manson, DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!

No one really goes ape over "no problem," but at first it seems to imply that there could have been a "problem," which may be overstating the value of the favor conferred.

Just sayin.

People who are going to go ape over "no problem" as opposed to "you're welcome" are going to find something to go ape over.

Yes. People have too many good things in their lives and not enough trouble if they're getting their panties in a knot over this. If someone actually flipped out on me over "no problem," I would probably still be polite, but I'd be thinking: "Sorry I troubled you, asshole. I take it back. It was a huge fucking hassle."

If something is well-meaning, accept it as such as move on. There's no point in looking for offense where none was intended.

To me this is a contextual thing that underlies how consumer culture has changed.

Who is doing the thanking? and why?

Once upon a time... if you were purchasing something you thanked the person you purchased FROM... and they said "You're Welcome".

Somewhere along the way, it became fashionable for the VENDOR to say thank you to the CONSUMER... ie. "Thank You for your Business".

and here we have a bit of an issue. "Well Come" implies coming into something like a business to purchase items. At some point this saying went to the end of the transaction, rather than the beginning, the "thank you's" got kinda moved around...

"You are Well Come" is in that way quite formal too...

So. If a business person says Thank You to ME, it hardly makes sense for ME to say "You're Welcome"

Feel Like Chip n' Dale yet? 'Thank You' "Oh, No, No, No, Thank YOU."

The informality of the 'no problem' helps split the difference when both parties say "Thank You" at the same time... you are both really Thanking each other for different things, but since culturally we have become less formal, the informal answer seems better. This may also be due to the fact that you may rarely be talking to the proprietor of a business, who would certainly be interacting with you directly. They would express their gratitude to you in a way that some part timer in walmart wouldn't feel...

Young people in business and other realms do better when they understand that these courtesies are purely mechanical, not emotionally grounded. People in the workplace don't say "Good Morning" as an expression of warm wishes, but merely to acknowledge the presence of the other and permit further communication as necessary. Nobody cares if you're morning's any good.

Introductory electronic exchanges on computer links are called handshakes, and they're part of the protocol.

When a diner receives a soup spoon for an incomplete placesetting, saying "Thank you" to the waiter merely concludes that portion of their interaction. The diner is not concerned with the magnitude of the burden born by the restaurant employee... Maybe finding a clean spoon was a "problem", maybe it wasn't, but the emotional response of the staff isn't the concern of the hungry customer. He's just wants his fucking silverware.

There's certain flavor of pathos found in workplaces with young people who think everyone around them is their Mom & Dad & Siblings. Mildly formal courtesies minimize these embarrassments. Let's all keep our eyes on the ball, OK?

Thanks.

And don't you dare.

To say that a person is welcome indicates positive feelings about the interaction; not being a problem is neutral at best. I try to make my guests feel welcome rather than just tolerated.

welcome: "Received with pleasure and hospitality"
no problem: "has not yet annoyed me"

Excellent point

So, the problem isn't with "no problem." The problem is with "you're welcome."

As SSGB points out, "no problem" simply means that it hasn't yet annoyed me. So, by saying "you're welcome," you're indicating to me that you will repeatedly to do whatever I thanked you for, ad infinitum? If not, why not? SSGB has indicated it was it done "with pleasure and hospitality."

Yeah, right.

So, "you're welcome" is insincere and phony.

Seriously, I admire people who do the reading and finish the math: "No problem" is a threat, as if the customer's needs will never be the first concern.

...a threat, as if the customer's needs will never be the first concern.
"No problem" implies that one doesn't have the typical condescending attitude towards customers, and it's not a problem to address their concerns quickly.
Hence, 'de nada' in Spanish.
Although I have taken to replying to customers with 'our pleasure' as it would seem to be less offensive to the more, shall we say, 'thin-skinned' amongst us.

"It's nothing" sounds different, if only because it comes from another generation. It's not so poised to describe the world as a mountain of hurts, with our customer threatening to unleash them. If you're that concerned about skin thickness in people who bring you money, you might be in the wrong business. That's happened to a lot of us in our careers.

This passage of O'Rourke comes to mind. "No problem" lacks humility's powerful nuance.

I like you're welcome. I like no problem. I don't even mind being given simply a sincere smile.

I have been known to go slightly ape shit or uh, or uh-huh, or yes. I had one supervisor who refused to acknowledge a thank you other than in the way just described and often would only do that after I repeated thank you loudly and clearly. I guess I wasn't very polite. Oh well.

In Thai, it's "My Ben Lye" which means 'no be sweat'. Which is appropriate in a tropical country.

If something is well-meaning, accept it as such as move on. There's no point in looking for offense where none was intended.

Posted by: MonicaP

My God woman, do you realize how many politicans and "Reverands" will lose their jobs if such an idea takes hold?

Y'know, I never thought about it, but now that I've read this article, it will probably annoy the hell out of me. Seriously, I don't think there's anything to be gained by parsing the individual words -- they're both standard acknowledgements of an expression of thanks, and anything beyond that is over-thinking it.

I'm in the under 20's set, and I usually associate "you're welcome" either as coming from a superior (like a boss or professor) or as a sarcastic reply. So, coming from someone in my peer group "my pleasure" or "no problem" as the more polite form. Which just goes to show something, I guess.

I turned on the TV and some program was on...a realiy show of some sort. There was some gansta/hip-hop guy talking and they were sub-titling and translating it. I understood most the words he was saying. He signed an autograph and the person thanked him. He said something like "Yah we Coo" (I assume "Yeah, we (are) cool" but the sub-title was "You are Welcome."

Anything but "whatever" is fine.

Amy you beat me to it. I immediately thought of spanish "De nada" which translates to "for nothing" or basically its nothing or no big deal. I think it is a matter of formality as some have suggested. In a more casual atmosphere there is no problem with "no problem". It is clearly more casual but acceptable in many cases none the less in my view.