Mess With The Taxpayer-Paid Stupids At DHS
There's a sidebar to the Daily Mail piece I linked on the catatonically stupid drooling morons at the Department of Homeland Security who deported British tourists for supposedly dangerous tweets (one of which is ripped from Family Guy). On that sidebar, there's a list of all the words that get your tweets flagged by DHS, (as if that's a form of security!).
I recommend that you all use as many of these words as possible in your tweets (and then whore for retweets by all your followers) in hopes of making it less possible for government-employed morons to inflict their tiny minds on visitors to this country in the name of "security":
The DHS no-no words include:Illegal immigrant
Outbreak
Drill
Strain
Virus
Recovery
Deaths
Collapse
Human to animal
Trojan
I had a hard time fitting them all into a single tweet in any coherent and slightly amusing manner, so I've split them into two. I hope you'll all tweet them, those of you who have twitter accounts, or retweet my tweets (@amyalkon).
And all you wordsmiths here, do make up your own tweets...in the name of putting actual intelligence into our "intelligence" operations!
And the more, the merrier! Make idiotic invasions of privacy and ridiculous bullying of the state too hard for the dim government functionaries to accomplish!
My two tweets:
We've had an illegal immigrant outbreak of human to animal cheerleader squad drills, with a few naked guys wearing a Trojan.Sex exhaustion virus caused a collapse, deaths, and a total strain on creduility. (Cheerleaders! Away from those goats!)
I know...easy barnyard animal joke. I'm so ashamed. Sort of.
And now for a harmonic convergence of TSA incompetence and homeopathic silliness, resulting in ... well, you be the judge:
http://www.cnn.com/2012/01/30/us/new-york-bomb-scare/index.html?hpt=hp_t3
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at January 31, 2012 12:08 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2012/01/31/fuck_with_the_s.html#comment-2946527">comment from Gog_Magog_Carpet_ReclaimersTSA: "It's a bomb! Eek!" Next step: "Okay...we'll ignore it for six hours while we stick our hands in granny's panties looking for nuclear warheads."
Amy Alkon at January 31, 2012 12:14 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2012/01/31/fuck_with_the_s.html#comment-2946553">comment from Amy AlkonUh-oh...seems l forgot "recovery" in my tweets.
Amy Alkon at January 31, 2012 12:42 AM
There's no recovery in this economy. ;-)
Jim P. at January 31, 2012 4:45 AM
"Okay...we'll ignore it for six hours .."
That's the really amazing part. They're so blase' about security, so accepting of the fact that this security theater is such utter nonsense, they don't even take action when they think they've got a real bomb on their hands!
I'm beyond disgusted with these morons.
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at January 31, 2012 10:45 AM
I didn't realize saying "cheerleader" was the mark of a terrorist. But I'm not surprised.
Cousin Dave at January 31, 2012 7:07 PM
Gloves are off! I'm going to challenge all my friends to this. Hell, they already pull me out of line every other time I fly anyway. :D
Daghain at January 31, 2012 7:09 PM
Trojan to drill illegal immigrant then collapse from human to animal outbreak of virus strain that causes death then recovery.
knobody at January 31, 2012 8:08 PM
Sounds like fun. However, I'll wait until I'm at home for this one.
mpetrie98 at January 31, 2012 9:06 PM
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