I got threatened by a secular humanist the other day for a bit of satire I did. Really. No lie. This isn't really as funny as being about people simply not "getting it".

Tweet, tweet.

Internet

I thought porn was one of the benefits of the "Internet."

Here's a funny idea, but not sure if viable or interesting to you.

You routinely come up with clever phrases, descriptions, etc. that are not only hysterical in the context of your column, but also stand on their own. For example, recently I laughed so hard at "weapons-grade slutty". And I suddenly wished that I could buy a tote bag or a bumper sticker or a refrigerater magnet with "weapons-grade slutty" printed on it (okay most likely the magnet). If it ever became feasible for you to sell merchandise with some of your quotes and what-not on them, I would definitely buy.