Too Fast Times At Ridgemont/Santa Monica High
I'm at my fave cafe. Girl, about 16, is sitting at the next table. A pack of cigs and Alcoholics Anon blue book are on on table, along with a notebook she's been writing in. A woman in her early 20s sits down and starts talking. It's her sponsor. Sad.
Yes, but not as sad as it would be were she still using.
Beth Cartwright at August 18, 2012 9:38 AM
Sad? She is taking responsibility and changing the course of her life by getting sober. My niece was in AA in high school, she is now 28 and just got her degree to be a Nurse Practitioner, she works in Boston Childrens Hospital in the pediatric ER brain injury department. We are so proud of her and the strength of her self-will to get sober early in her life. What would have become of her if she continued down the road of alcohol and drugs, now that would be a sad story.
Ruby at August 18, 2012 9:42 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2012/08/18/too_fast_times.html#comment-3309143">comment from RubyWhat would have become of her if she continued down the road of alcohol and drugs, now that would be a sad story.
Well, obviously.
I guess I'll have to explain the subtext behind the post: If you have already crashed and burned by age 16, what age did you start getting drunk, 10? 12?
Amy Alkon at August 18, 2012 9:55 AM
What is sad is a 16 y.o. girl dealing with serious addiction. Cigarettes won't kill her as fast as alcohol.......
I am convinced that the upswing in addiction and depression in teens has to do with the demonization of saturated fats.
David H at August 18, 2012 9:57 AM
In the case of my niece, she was about 14 or 15 and came from a very loving, hands on mom and dad household. On top of the drugs/alcohol problem she was anorexic and almost died (that was sad).
With so much drugs and alcohol thrown in the face of kids today most everywhere they interact, many of them give way to the temptation. It makes me happy whenever someone has the strength and will to stop, especially if they're young and just getting into it.
You didn't have to explain your subtext.
Ruby at August 18, 2012 10:02 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2012/08/18/too_fast_times.html#comment-3309165">comment from RubyRegarding recovering from addiction, here's my show with addiction treatment specialist Dr. Fred Woolverton:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon/2012/03/12/advice-goddess-radio-amy-alkon
I hope to have Dr. Stanton Peele on in the near future.
Amy Alkon at August 18, 2012 10:20 AM
I'm with you Amy. Its very sad to see and its becoming a more common occurrence than some like to believe. I can only hope that this girl is getting the right help and support. If so, she may be ahead of her peers in that she will be gaining great tools to deal with real life issues. I do hope that will be the case.
Kristen at August 18, 2012 10:25 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2012/08/18/too_fast_times.html#comment-3309171">comment from KristenShe seems in good hands vis a vis what I heard from her sponsor (I wasn't trying to eavesdrop -- they were sitting right next to me and talking in normal tones). But, as Woolverton points out, people need to resolve the underlying issues that lead them to try to avoid suffering (a normal part of life) with substances.
Amy Alkon at August 18, 2012 10:34 AM
I hear stories in AA about a lot of people who start drinking and drugging at a very young age. Unfortunately, getting sober at 16 doesn't happen for many of them.
Steamer at August 18, 2012 12:08 PM
Gee. This can't be. The line here is that legalized substances are dealt with responsibly by users, and therefore there is not even a need for regulation.
Radwaste at August 18, 2012 1:14 PM
My best friend died in her early 30s, after a lifetime of alcohol and drug abuse. She started drinking when she was about 10 (possibly sooner, but I can't recall).
During summer visitations, her father and step-mother would send her down to the corner store daily for booze and smokes. They always gave her extra to buy something for herself, and eventually she stopped buying candy and started buying Peppermint Schnapps.
At the time of her death, she was early 30s, recently released from prison, and trying to live a drug-free life. She worked as a dog-groomer and was taking courses at the community college, trying to identify a career goal that didn't preclude felons with drug and money related convictions.
Her mother called me one morning. She was at the hospital and getting ready to send her daughter's body off for organ retrieval. K had just collapsed in the kitchen, right in front of her mother. Doctors said it was a seizure that left her brain dead.
It was very shocking. I'd always kept a little red flag in the back of my mind, a sort of preparation for the likelihood that her lifestyle would kill her (whether OD, murder, etc.). I didn't expect it during a time when she was legitimately trying to get her shit together.
Meloni at August 18, 2012 1:26 PM
I cleaned up the day I started college. Never been to a high school reunion.
Actress wassername, Barrymore did OK, no adult (substance) weirdness.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at August 18, 2012 2:20 PM
Where were these girls when I was a teenager?
Seriously though-- this ties in with the article about young single moms and why they get themselves knocked up-- Having babies brings "meaning" to their lives. Babies give them VALIDATION. Their lives would be bitter and meaningless otherwise, except most of them remain bitter and meaningless even after they have kids. No wonder so many kids hate their parents.
Who's to say that having babies is an acceptable alternative to self-destruction through substance abuse?
What's needed is a way to teach young people how to visualize a future for themselves where they can find their own validation within themselves.
jefe at August 18, 2012 5:01 PM
With at least some of them, it seems to be genetic. We all know the one -- the kid who grows up in a good, loving, functional home. Then at the age of 15 or so, they're at a party and someone is passing a bottle around. Most of the kids drink some, cringe at the taste, and then a few minutes later they think "OK, that's nice." But that one kid... they take that first drink, and BAM! From that moment on, their lives are devoted to obtaining and consuming alcohol or whatever their drug of choice, to the exclusion of absolutely everything else, and all of the love and caring in the world has no effect on them whatsoever. You can lock them up in rehab, you can spend thousands of dollars on getting them therapy, and they'll agree that they made a mistake and promise to do better, but as soon as experience five minutes of freedom, they're right back where they started.
Seems like a pretty damn cruel thing for chromosomes and brain chemistry to do. You can't help but wonder how this came to be, how such a anti-survival characteristic survived the evolutionary process. And while having compassion for the sufferers, you can't help but wonder if there is an upper limit to the number of that that society can support and tolerate.
Cousin Dave at August 18, 2012 5:28 PM
I wonder though how many kids were caught on the third or fifth night and shoved in the programs that really don't have a problem.
Jim P. at August 18, 2012 5:54 PM
I am a heavy drinker. I have been drinking since I was 11 years old when I learned to make my own wine from reading the encyclopedia. I am 65 years old. I was a heavy smoker for twenty years. I quit smoking in1983 because my uncle died from cancer. I drink 3 liters of liquor a week. It does not affect my life one way or another except to make me feel better. Men have an enzyme that allows them to metabolize alcohol that women and some ethnic groups don’t have. Demonization of alcohol is not valid for everybody.
ken in sc at August 18, 2012 6:13 PM
"If you have already crashed and burned by age 16, what age did you start getting drunk, 10? 12?"
I've had dozens of clients/patients whose mothers gave them whiskey in baby bottles to quiet them before they were even old enough to walk or talk.
Ken R at August 18, 2012 10:13 PM
Cousin Dave:"With at least some of them, it seems to be genetic."
Yes. With any addictive substance, some people are more susceptible to addiction than others. Some people consume enormous amounts of alcohol but have no problem going without when they want to; others who drink only moderate amounts experience a withdrawal syndrome if they try to go a day or two without.
The same thing might be true with obsessive behaviors like gambling or shopping.
Many people are genetically predisposed to carbohydrate intolerance and insulin resistance, leading to obesity, metabolic syndrome, type 2 diabetes, heart disease and many other problems. When these people try to restrict their carbohydrate intake they often have a withdrawal syndrome and craving.
Ken R at August 18, 2012 10:42 PM
I started drinking at age 12. By 17, I was a fairly heavy drinker. I moved out of the parental home at 18 and suddenly the desire for heavy drinking was gone. I went about 15 years with fewer than 10 alcoholic beverages total and then started drinking socially. If I had taken one of AA's tests as a teen, it would have said that I was an alchoholic, but after removing myself from a toxic environment, the desire to e obliterated disappeared. Hmmm.
Jen at August 19, 2012 7:58 AM
Gee. This can't be. The line here is that legalized substances are dealt with responsibly by users, and therefore there is not even a need for regulation.
Nowhere in this country is it legal for a sixteen year old to possess alcohol, let alone drink it (outside of the presence of their parents in some places. It allows for kids to have wine with dinner, or something like that). And even though it's illegal, this girl got into trouble with it.
Looks to me that making or keeping something illegal has little to no deterrent effect for anyone wishing to partake, and only serves to make life harder for a small subset of the population.
Do you yell at the kids on your lawn?
Steve Daniels at August 19, 2012 11:37 AM
Steve, pay attention. Because alcohol is legally distributed in the USA by the millions of gallons, it is widely available to everyone.
The argument on this blog has been that widespread availability of drugs would lead to responsible use. Of course the mechanism for this magic was not explained.
Back to the point: when you make or allow something to be widely available, more people avail themselves of it, some of them when they should not. And clearly, laws do not prevent this misuse.
To be consistent, one must recognize that alcohol is a drug - and it's not all a beer ad promises.
Radwaste at August 20, 2012 7:00 PM
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