How To Have A Kid Without Getting A Divorce To Go With
I just posted a column on the subject, Four Wettings And A Funeral. An excerpt:
I know, having a baby looks so idyllic in picture books. The stork drops him off one day, and then on the next page, he's 5. In real life, there are back-to-back trips to Poison Control, meaningful conversations about the day's shade of poo, and hopes that people will think you're just holding the baby for some other lady when he's screaming his lungs out on a plane.
You have to have sex. Whether you want to or not. Whether you get off or not. Pretty much never go longer than a week if someone isn't puking.
Get a sitter at least once a month. It's cheaper than a divorce, so no "we can't afford it" lines.
DO something not kid related every day (if you don't work). Even if it's just flipping through Cosmo after the kid is down.
AN easy in-house date is finding a tv series you both like and netflixing it so it's available when you are, and watching it together after kiddie bedtime while eating something a little special that you don't do every night. Maybe take-out if you're tired. Bonus: it gives the 2 of you something to talk about together the rest of the week, thatr isn't your kid.
Best advice I got after having a kid: "you're going to be tired anyway, you might as well stay up and watch Leno." Of course, it doesn't have to be Leno.
momof4 at November 27, 2012 4:08 PM
Even some of us "child-free" friends are willing to pitch in a hand. While still married, I watched others' kids for evenings and overnights on many occasions. The parents got a much needed break to maintain or rekindle their connection (and subsequently be an appropriate example for the kids to learn from and model) and I got to play with the kids and remind myself why I didn't want that as a full-time job. Win-win.
Thinking back, I was pretty paranoid about watching them. One was between 6-9 months old when I watched her, and I literally was unable to sleep more than 15-20 minutes at a time without going in to make sure her chest / back was rising and falling in the manner of the living.
Meloni at November 28, 2012 11:51 AM
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