EARLIER TODAY: Advice Goddess Radio, Today, 1-2pm PT, 4-5pm ET: Dr. Richard Wiseman--How Action, Not Brooding, Changes Your Feelings & Your Life
Amy Alkon's Advice Goddess Radio: "Nerd Your Way To A Better Life!" with the best brains in therapy and research.
Psychologist and researcher Dr. Richard Wiseman will be with us all the way from Britain for a not-to-be-missed show on his book, just published in America, "The As If Principle."
He will lay out the science that shows that it is not thinking yourself into new behavior that helps you change but behaving as the person you want to be. In other words, "Behave as if..."
This will not only be a fascinating show, but an extremely valuable and practical one, laying out a simple principle, well-supported by research, that can easily be used to increase motivation, overcome depression, lose weight, stop smoking and even slow aging.
The research shows, for example, that you can measurably improve your mood by smiling and laughing, and that you can improve your relationship simply by acting loving. You can even cure phobias by practicing behaving, physically, as if you are not afraid -- not grimacing at a spider, for example.
Listen live at this link at 1-2pm Pacific, 4-5pm Eastern, or download the podcast afterward:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon/2013/01/13/dr-richard-wiseman-action-not-brooding-changes-yr-life
Don't miss last week's show with sex therapist Dr. Brandy Engler. Dr. Engler is unique in that she opened a sex therapy practice for women -- expecting to slowly get get clients -- and quickly amassed a full list of clients: all men.
This is your chance to go inside her sessions -- to see into the erotic minds of men. And not pervos or deviants, but regular guys. Men we all know.
Beyond the men, she takes us inside the minds of the women having sex with these men -- or refusing to -- and find out why, and what it takes to balance love and eroticism in a relationship.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon/2013/01/07/dr-brandy-engler-inside-the-erotic-minds-of-men-women
Engler and New York Times best-selling biographer David Rensin have just published a fascinating book about her sessions and her insights, The Men on My Couch: True Stories of Sex, Love and Psychotherapy
Listen at this link or download the podcast:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon/2013/01/07/dr-brandy-engler-inside-the-erotic-minds-of-men-women
Join me and my fascinating guests every Sunday, 7-8 p.m. Pacific Time, 10-11 p.m. Eastern Time, at blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon or subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher.
I LOVE this book and this may be the single most practical show I ever do.
I've written about this principle in my column (see bit about Dana Carney's research):
http://www.advicegoddess.com/ag-column-archives/2012/12/the-happiest-pl.html
Before I ever read the research that supported it, I knew intuitively there was something to it, advising people to behave lovingly to their partners and love would follow.
It really is a remarkably successful practice, behaving "as if..."
Amy Alkon at January 13, 2013 7:59 AM
What my I was saying about my relationship philosophy:
Try to say "I love you." everyday to your partner with a sincere thought behind it, not as a platitude.
If you can't then look at the "Why not?"
If it is #1 -- get out before you have kids.
If it is #2 -- talk to her about it.
If it is #3 -- talk to her about how you are feeling. Then decide between the two of you which person is wrong.
The big thing is to talk.
The show was good, as usual. I'm going to have to get his book.
Jim P. at January 13, 2013 2:11 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/01/13/earlier_today_a.html#comment-3553063">comment from Jim P.Thanks so much -- and good thinking.
Amy Alkon at January 13, 2013 2:43 PM
Amy, I think you should remove the links from someone else's comments, and do so for two reasons.
1. You don't permit unauthorized advertising on your site, and routinely remove spam and similar messages from anonymous sources.
2. You don't permit commentary which suggests violence against gays, minorities, women, children or any other dangerous conduct.
The YouTube links from "FoodForThought" under this post at 7:03 AM & 1:43 PM are deceptive and dangerous in their proscriptions. (They're also irrational and paranoid, but that's beside the point.)
If such a commenter wanted to identify their own site for links to such things, the offense might not be as grievous.
See my own comment at January 12, 2013 9:39 PM.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at January 13, 2013 2:52 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/01/13/earlier_today_a.html#comment-3553094">comment from Crid [CridComment at gmail]Thanks for the note, Crid -- but please post on-topic, not on the radio show.
I see all the comments, even ones that are on lower posts.
I've put a note on those comments, in heavy bold type and explained why I'm not removing them.
And I almost never remove posts. I only remove posts which call on people to be violent, or where people assume another person's identity (other than, say, Florence Nightingale, or someone we all know they are not).
Otherwise, I subscribe to Brandeis' notion of sunshine making the best disinfectant.
Amy Alkon at January 13, 2013 3:13 PM
To Act As If. Also called fake it till you make it, by DH and my's marriage counselor a few years ago. It does work!
Momof4 at January 13, 2013 7:28 PM
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