At it's essence, it is something I would like to try, but probably not for long. Which, I suppose is known as swinging. My wife is awfully conservative, although, when we got together, it seemed as if she wasn't quite finished with her post-divorce-requisite sleeping around. It hasn't affected our relationship in the least, but sometimes I wonder if she would like some variation in the sex department from time to time.

I may have gone off-subject, but it felt like the thing to say.

I should add that, at some point, I should bring this subject out in the open with her, one way or the other. A few weeks ago, on a road trip, we played 20 questions with each other and she asked me if there was anything sexual that I wanted to try; like the dumbass I am, I just laughed it off and said that she doesn't want to know. I learned much from being married the first time, but apparently, not enough.

The left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing.

(perhaps the closest I get to an open relationship)

My guy friend told me he wants to fuck around but doesnt want his wife to fuck around. He then asked me how he can meet such a woman?

Riyadh. Lotta guys like that over there, I'm sure they've got it all figured out.

(But if he figures out that she's into it too, Orange County.)

No long term relationship, open or otherwise is a sex buffet for women. We are not wired that way. The older I get the fewer men, I find interesting enough to sleep with.
And I think a lot of my minor promiscuity before marriage was driven by looking for something that a one night stand didn't give me.

Men aren't women, and they may turn an open relationship into a sex buffet, as long as they are young enough or rich enough to pull it off.

Imagine a world where a man created an app that pulled in the photos of women on Facebook so the community could rank them and, if known, could provide insights into their personal issues?

http://www.businessinsider.com/lulu-a-women-only-app-that-rates-men-2013-4

Without the women knowing about it, of course.

Dang. I'm so vanilla.

I dunno, all most of my poly friends seem to have major drama going on. I think the amount of drama in a relationship increases exponentially per person added.

Just think of all the regular relationship stuff... balancing work and home, which set of in-laws to spend the holidays with, finding time to do fun stuff, finding time for chores... now add in more people.

And they all SAY they're not jealous but freak out whenever their partner sees something new, because there's always some little detail which means that the partner "Isn't doing poly right" but fact is anyone can find a detail anywhere because apparently everyone's list of implied rules is long and intricate and not the same as anyone else's.

Amy -
Is your relationship open, or closed?

No, poly is NOT for everybody.

My own marriage opened up after my wife came out as bisexual and we agreed she needed to explore that part of her personality.

I don't know how long a relationship has to last to be considered "stable," but we've been working under this model for over ten years.

Our lives do not, however, look like most people expect them to. You see, almost all women, both gay and straight, don't date to have fun. They date because they are looking for "the one."

This means that the pool of women interested in dating middle-class 40-somethings is very limited. Most of the time my marriage looks like everyone else's.

I do have one steady girlfriend I go on vacation with once a year for the past ten years, but most of the rest of the time it's just the two of us.

Lamont

> she needed to explore that part of
> her personality.

She needed to explore that part of her personality; She needed to explore that part of her personality.

She needed to explore that part of her personality.

came to the conclusion that sexually open relationships are too much for most people.

If true, that doesn't surprise me. On another blog I frequent, there are a fair amount of people who are in poly relationships and say they manage quite well. But, of course, even if it's true that a poly relationship works for a lot of people, those "lot of" may still be a minority of all those who have tried it.

I don't think I could be in an open relationship where my girlfriend or wife slept with other guys. I was in a relationship once, about ten years ago, with a woman who was bi and would, on occasion, sleep with another woman. Not only did that not bother me, I found it hot.

Ppen: My guy friend told me he wants to fuck around but doesnt want his wife to fuck around.

I'm sure a lot of guys would love to have that kind of an open relationship.

The guys who really fascinate me are the ones who are the opposite of that: they're not interested (or not that interested) in fucking other women, but they want their girlfriend or wife to fuck other men. It's a real turn-on for them.