The TSA Redecorates -- In Pink! (How To Have Your Rights And Your Genitals Violated In More Comfortable And Pleasing Surroundings)
It only seems like a post from The Onion. It's actually a post on Fodors.com, by Seth Miller, "TSA to Design Calm, Stress-Free Checkpoints."
Of course, the way you "design" these is by letting me go straight through from the door of the airport to my gate, without violating my right not to be searched without reasonable suspicion that I have committed a crime.
And frankly, the current prison-like setting of the TSA checkpoint and the prison-like manner in which I am force to "spread 'em" and be groped by a matron in a prison guard costume are completely fitting.
Of course, gullible and apathetic Americans will probably cheer the redecoration and not see that it's yet another push to make them increasingly docile when their rights are being taken from them.
Here's an excerpt from the post:
Plush couches, wall art, and soothing ambient music are not what travelers typically think of when approaching the TSA screening checkpoints. For passengers at two airports, however, that's exactly what they will find, thanks to a partnership between Marriott's SpringHill Suites and SecurityPoint Media. The two have partnered up to transform the pre-screening waiting area and the post-screening recomposure area into relaxing, comfortable environments, hoping to lower the stress levels of travelers. The new checkpoint layouts are available today at the E18 checkpoint of Dallas-Ft. Worth International Airport and at the E checkpoint at Charlotte-Douglass International Airport....While waiting in line prior to screening passengers will no longer have TSA screeners barking information; the rules and reminders will be provided via recorded messages interspersed with ambient music. There will also be video displays showing TSA reminders, estimated wait times, and sponsor messages. Couches and tables comparable to a hotel lobby will greet those same customers as they exit the screening area; that should be much more comfortable than the metal benches (or nothing) commonly available.
Here's a picture. 
Will getting groped (when there's no suspicion that you've done anything beyond buying a ticket to visit your mom) and having the Constitution ignored in pink light make you feel better?
What if they served snacks?
Old RPM Daddy (OldRPMDaddy at GMail dot com) at October 30, 2013 8:20 AM
Sounds like it might be time to boycott Marriott.
Grey Ghost at October 30, 2013 8:20 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2013/10/30/the_tsa_redecor.html#comment-4017161">comment from Old RPM Daddy (OldRPMDaddy at GMail dot com)What if they served snacks?
Barium enema?
Amy Alkon
at October 30, 2013 8:34 AM
Interesting. The famous Sheriff Joe Arpaio and some prisons in Texas use pink clothing and prison cells as a humiliation technique. I'm sure the TSA researched the color scheme to maximize compliance and reduce pushback. God, I'm glad I don't have to fly these days.
Canvasback at October 30, 2013 8:45 AM
"There will also be video displays showing ... sponsor messages."
Anybody else pick up on the forced advertising fed to a captive audience?
flbeachmom at October 30, 2013 9:00 AM
Good morning, gentlemen. This is a twelve-story block combining classical neo-Georgian features with the efficiency of modern techniques. The tenants arrive in the entrance hall here, and are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort and past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last twenty feet of the corridor are heavily soundproofed. The blood pours down these chutes and the mangled flesh slurps into these...
jerry at October 30, 2013 9:22 AM
I wonder if they're using Baker-Miller Pink
Pull quote: "It was found that this pink color was associated with a short-term decrease in aggression."
Scott_K at October 30, 2013 10:12 AM
Barium enema?
Please don't be giving them ideas. I'd crack a joke, combining the TSA with an ObamaCare health screening, but they'd probably think that was a grand idea, too.
I R A Darth Aggie at October 30, 2013 10:27 AM
@IRA: "I'd crack a joke, combining the TSA with an ObamaCare health screening, but they'd probably think that was a grand idea, too."
You'll find out when your doctor asks about your hemorrhoids, but you don't remember ever mentioning them.
Old RPM Daddy (OldRPMDaddy at GMail dot com) at October 30, 2013 11:12 AM
Well, this month is National Breast Awareness Month, isn't it? Oh, wait...
Cousin Dave at October 30, 2013 11:22 AM
Egad. This makes the NFL's October color campaign look positively refined.
Astra at October 30, 2013 3:22 PM
I'm sure the Islamist terrorists are going to care a lot about the calming effects when they drive a Freightliner truck bomb into the crowd waiting at the gate in the days before Thanksgiving or Christmas.
Jim P. at October 30, 2013 5:52 PM
Well, Jim, when that happens we will all have to be searched for truck bombs – even people in Volkswagen Beetles.
Because little old ladies with Volkswagen Beetles are likely to be carrying weapons of mass destruction for terrorists!
Radwaste at October 31, 2013 3:07 AM
All the dystopian futures are coming true. Have a joy joy day fellow citizen.
cbc at October 31, 2013 4:57 AM
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