Get thee to the mall. Seek out that temple of tackiness, Spencer Gifts. Get thee a can of "Bullshit Repellent" spray. Waft it gently over the heads of the skatepunks. . .

Alternately, for next time. . .hit up Amazon for a 5-kg bag of Haribo Sugar-free Gummi Bears. Place large quantities of same in disposable bowls, and bring out to the 'boarders. Allow them to gorge themselves on the candy. Wait 30 minutes. And Enjoy the Resultant Spectacle. But keep the garden hose handy . . .

" . . . hippos having rough sex."

Ah, you've met my new upstairs neighbors then?

Finally, after a couple of months of the ceiling and windows shaking I summoned up the courage to ring their door bell when the hanging lamp in my dining room started swinging yet again.

I'm not sure who was more embarrassed, me or them? But, they've been very quiet since.

Had neighbors way back when that their bedroom backed onto our living room. I had to explain the guy that when they sat on the bed the headboard would bang against our conjoined wall. He finally got it.

For the skateboarders -- get an air horn, go outside, and set it off whenever you hear the clack.

Unfortunately, air horn and other methods are either illegal or assault others and I would like to avoid both jailtime and being a bigger asshole than the assholes.

I had kids park on my sidewalk then eat and when they were done throw all the Del Taco trash all over my yard.

Ah, yes - another advantage of living in the big city: the ambiance!

Different strokes, etc., but even when I was a teenage boy I didn't see the thrill in skateboarding up, down, over, whatever, a two-inch curb over and over and over.

"vengeful monsterbrats"

You mean like this ass:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8ypNfoWfvI

Pissed off because his "fun" was ruined. What he did, as far as I am concerned, was a crime!

PS We were raised to be considerate of other people,

I have to agree. I think it's about how kids are raised.

You have no idea how fucking annoying that is until you hear that SLAM! every 15 or 30 seconds or so for a prolonged period of time. And no, I do not live in or near a skateboard park.

Last summer, there was a kid doing this at a bus stop near my house. It's about a block away but, even from that distance, I could hear it inside my house and, yes, it was very annoying. Fortunately, he didn't do it for that long and it wasn't a regular thing.

Speaking of assholes... we got about 3-4 inches of snow in Seattle last night. I was watching the news when I heard a crunching sound, and then the sound of a car speeding off. Hmmmm, I thought, that doesn't sound good, so I went outside and, sure enough, someone had skidded into the left front of my car, smashed the lights and then took off.

So I'm at a friend's house in a very nice neighborhood of McMansions and expensive cars and a bunch of a-holes pull up and start drinking beer, blasting their radio and throwing the empties on the sidewalk.

So I snap a leash on the pit bull and walk her out to the sidewalk and stand there staring at them, dog straining at the leash, glaring.

The guys see what's happening and I say it's rude to disrupt the street and worse to leave their empties. "So - you gonna pick that up? Yeah, that one too. Don't forget the wrapper. Thanks."

The nasty loudmouthed girl started to get snotty and then saw the dog. The boys picked everything up, told the girl to STFU, apologized, and left.

The pit bull was EXTREMELY upset. She wanted to lick them all to death and maybe get free tummy rubs.