More On Sperm Stealing To Force Men Into Child Support
It happens. How often? Too often if you're the guy who's now "Daddy!"
I posted this on my linkies post in response to a comment sneer about my earlier post on this, "I Hope You Stop Giving Out Horribly Sexist Advice!", with a reader of my column screeching at me for daring to tell men this:
Of course, the single worst form of birth control is trusting that a woman -- especially a woman longing for a baby -- is actually taking or using hers. A mitigating factor is whether she's shown herself to be ethical. Consider whether that describes your girlfriend. If not, you might want to make that a requirement for any partner of yours -- before you find yourself reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" aloud for the 300th time in a week, as it's the only way to keep your toddler from screaming like a goat being slaughtered.
I also link to a paper I heard presented at an ev psych conference that found that more than a third of women surveyed had risked getting pregnant without the consent of or even the discussion with their partner.
Shawna Cohen tells one of these stories where a pregnancy occurred at Mommyish:
Here's how it happened, according to Houston Press. Joe Pressil began dating his girlfriend, Anetria, in 2005. They broke up in 2007 and, three months later, she told him she was pregnant with his child. Pressil was confused, since the couple had used birth control, but a paternity test proved that he was indeed the father. So Pressil let Anetria and the boys stay at his home and he agreed to pay child support.Fast forward to February of this year, when 36-year-old Pressil found a receipt - from a Houston sperm bank called Omni-Med Laboratories - for "cryopreservation of a sperm sample" (Pressil was listed as the patient although he had never been there). He called Omni-Med, which passed him along to its affiliated clinic Advanced Fertility. The clinic told Pressil that his "wife" had come into the clinic with his semen and they performed IVF with it, which is how Anetria got pregnant.
The big question, of course, is how exactly did Anetria obtain Pressil's sperm without him knowing about it? Simple. She apparently saved their used condoms. Gag. (Anetria denies these claims.) [tagbox tag="IVF"]
"I couldn't believe it could be done. I was very, very devastated. I couldn't believe that this fertility clinic could actually do this without my consent, or without my even being there," Pressil said, adding that artificial insemination is against his religious beliefs. "That's a violation of myself, to what I believe in, to my religion, and just to my manhood," Pressil said.
The answer: Make dating ethical women a priority.
"Sperm-stealing Tabasco sauce!"
!!!
!
Don't believe it can't be done!!
Crid [CridComment at Gmail] at August 28, 2014 8:01 AM
" Make dating ethical women a priority." Of course the problem is how do you tell. I'm sure he thought she was ethical until he found out.
Also different people ave different ethics. For example, stealing to save a starving person perfectly ethical, except starving is rarely an all or nothing thing, but a gradual shift from hungry to very hungry, to very hungry for a while to starving.
Basically after how many days of non-eating = starving.
Likewise to some stealing sperm becomes ethical to some.
Joe J at August 28, 2014 8:29 AM
Make dating ethical women a priority.
Too bad they don't make nail polish that shows the ethics (or lack thereof) of the wearer.
Why, yes, I have trust issues. How did you know?
I R A Darth Aggie at August 28, 2014 9:23 AM
ah, "ethical"...
but obviously this woman was in it for the long game... like many con artists- they are charming and good at what they do. You may be able to spot a crazy one, maybe... but one who has made it their mission to have a specific outcome and make you the unwitting mark?
OTOH... there is enough back story to wonder what ELSE was going on. At the time of the article would be 2011, and there is an indication that the two had an altercation over jealousy, or something something. It's hard to put the pieces together, but apparently after the time the twins were born, he allowed them to live with him, something, something, for some years... The altercation really came about when he found the receipt and figured out that he had been duped.
so... you know there are states where that would be common law marriage. Certainly a woman living with a guy who gets jealous when said guy has other girlfriends must think they have a relationship... even if he doesn't think so.
Regardless, the outcome doesn't appear to be known. Id have to wonder if she decided to have MORE children with his still stored sperm, if he could be successfully sued for THAT child support TOO.
Thing is, this is a low probability, UNLESS it happens to you, then it's 1:1. The probability goes up if you are rich, of course.
It's amazing how many things can be rationalized.
SwissArmyD at August 28, 2014 9:43 AM
Yeah the long com huh ? Do you mean by this guy?
“He injected her with hormone shots,” Deyon said. “How could he not know? They were in a relationship and were trying to get pregnant the old-fashioned way, and they couldn’t.”
Plus, the lawyer said, the clinic required a sample of the father’s blood and the procedure was paid for with Pressil’s insurance and credit card.
Pressil, 36, of Elmont, has filed suit, saying he was shocked to learn Burnett, 34, was pregnant since he’d always worn protection."
Ppen at August 28, 2014 10:31 AM
You can't get a clinic to use random discarded condom sperm. Didn't that raise anyone's alam bells?
The only time I've known it to happen was with a mafia man in prison in Italy and with his consent. Though both he and his gf deny they paid off the jizz bank.
By the way she was a fucking stripper. Who'd a thunk she wouldn't be the most reliable of broads?
Ppen at August 28, 2014 10:42 AM
This is an aside, but having been through IVF, I have to say the Pressil's story sounds like a load of dingo's kidneys to me.
First of all, sperm don't just keep like that. A lot of condoms have spermicide in them and sperm have to gotten to the andrologist relatively quickly if they are to be any good. When I was making my "donations", I had to be in the building or the adjacent hotel and they wanted it right away. They will not take sperm from a condom for a variety of medical reasons.
Second, no one just walks into a clinic and does IVF. IVF involves massive testing of both parents, a series of hormone shots and office visits followed by a medical procedure under sedation. Maybe he means IUI (artificial insemination) but even then, clinics do checking and the same need for the sperm to be fresh and in a sterile receptacle apply.
The quote from her lawyer in the comment above sounds right to me. I think his story is almost certainly fiction.
Mike at August 28, 2014 10:45 AM
I agree the story sounds like crap as well. I used to work at a fertility center that did IVF procedures. Both partners are required to be involved unless using anonymous donor sperm which came frozen from another facility with full paperwork. IVF is very involved and time consuming with tests and meds and procedures. It's not something one could easily sneak, especially with allegedly stolen sperm. Even assuming they'd accept a random condom full of sperm in the first place (they would not) she would have had to basically rip it off him and rush it to the clinic within 30 minutes for it to be considered viable.
I think what is most likely here (assuming he swears the pregnancy was without consent) is that they started the IVF process and for whatever reason he bailed on her during the cycle and she proceeded with the implantation anyway and he assumed she wouldn't because he told her not to. But....I think he's just a whiny sack of shit trying to get out of his responsibilities.
I think there are at least an equal amount of men who claim to have been deceived into pregnancy as women who deceptively caused a pregnancy.
BunnyGirl at August 28, 2014 11:02 AM
The answer: Make dating ethical women a "priority. "
Make prosecuting fraud a priority.
Jim at August 28, 2014 11:40 AM
Well said, BunnyGirl.
Not to mention: Why would a woman, even one who didn't know how fast sperm can die or that condoms often have spermicide in them, NOT just try to inseminate herself in her own bathroom? Saves a lot of time.
lenona at August 28, 2014 11:51 AM
"I couldn't believe it could be done" he says. Funny, I don't believe it either.
Having sex only with people you trust is pretty good advice for both genders.
Jenny had a chance at August 28, 2014 12:18 PM
I just googled out of almost morbid curiosity, and couldn't find anything more recent than January 2012 (and only one piece that even bothered consulting Omni-Med, which of course says this is nonsense, he signed consent forms and had blood drawn at their facility). Does anyone know how this was ultimately resolved?
Jenny had a chance at August 28, 2014 1:03 PM
Pepper sauce!
Spicy!
Crid [CridComment at Gmail] at August 28, 2014 1:28 PM
> Thing is, this is a low probability, UNLESS it
> happens to you, then it's 1:1.
Nope... This is horseshit from top to bottom.
> It's amazing how many things can
> be rationalized.
Point taken.
Crid at August 28, 2014 3:41 PM
Found another story on this stating the man was charged with assault after she caught him cheating and tried to kick him out of their residence. As best I can tell, this was not too terribly long before he filed the lawsuit although no exact dates were mentioned, just a month.
BunnyGirl at August 28, 2014 3:49 PM
See that girl at the bar? Yeah, the one with the tight sweater? Damn, she looks rational!
Ima buy her a drink. Maybe a house.
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at August 28, 2014 4:23 PM
I don't believe anyone can be trusted that far in sexual matters. As long as the law offers women a free meal ticket, many of them will take it.
The right answer is to eliminate the child support law in favor of what we had 100 years ago: if you want child support, get his signature on a marriage license before getting pregnant. Marriage exists in the first place in order to be exactly that formal, public agreement.
In the meantime, I suggest that men do what I have done: get a vasectomy, but don't tell new friends about it right away. Let those women who think they can take advantage of you never find out why they didn't get pregnant.
jdgalt at August 28, 2014 7:25 PM
This is an aside, but having been through IVF, I have to say the Pressil's story sounds like a load of dingo's kidneys to me.
Chiming in to add my voice to this chorus. Sperm just don't stay active all that long outside the body. Fertility clinics report their success rates to national entities including the CDC; they're going to do everything in their power to get the best sperm sample possible. Plus, they never would have proceeded with IVF or IUI without having a sperm test run on the guy in the first place, not to mention the umpteen consent forms they would have required before moving forward -- oh, and did I mention that the government would have SHUT THEM DOWN if they had been working with human tissue without having very recent STD test results from all sources of such tissue? The reason there's been nothing written about this story in the last three years, methinks, is that it fell apart on closer inspection. The guy sounds like a jerk who decided to make a wild claim to counteract charges of abuse. I feel profoundly sorry for those two little kids.
THAT HAVING BEEN SAID, can women use sperm that has just been ejaculated into a condom to impregnate themselves? Yes, they can. And they have. Amy's main point is a valid one. Yes, I know -- the crazy is HOT!!! Resist the temptation. Women who see out-of-wedlock pregnancies as being major disruptions to their lives exist. They are not rare. Try prioritizing that quality when dating someone. (And if you are 100% sure you don't want kids? Vasectomies come in handy.)
marion at August 28, 2014 8:59 PM
So everyone agrees!
It's important that today's stylin' manly-men get all paranoid about women who want to steal their goo!
Because there are women out there who will do that, fellas!
There's not enough jizzmo-juice to go around!
Well, not that, actually... The problem is that *your* squirts are so powerful and promising and meaningful that snarly women can't resist them!
So, the issue isn't any weak-headedness on your part... Perish the thought! No narcissistic tendencies nourished by your own social cowardice or anything... It's certainly NOT the case that your interpersonal incompetence has sent you into a lonely, demented spiral of somatic preoccupation, or anything like that.
No, the problem is that women want to STEAL YOUR GOO.
And boys, that is A THING THAT HAPPENS.
So...
So you'd better be ready for the sperm-stealers.
Because like someone said, the odds may be
But when YOU'RE the one, then you are so fucked.
Worry about this, men. I implore you.
LOSE SLEEP OVER IT.
Crid [CridComment at Gmail] at August 29, 2014 1:53 AM
This is the boyside version of "Honey, does my ass look fat in these pants?"
Only it's even more pathetic, which I'd not have thought possible.
Crid [CridComment at Gmail] at August 29, 2014 1:54 AM
No Crid,
You see women will dig for that precious goo-incrusted condom when you ain't looking and fill herself up with your jizz and another mans jizz too because they're just as likely to commit paternity fraud.
But there's more,
Women are picking nothing but deadbeats as fathers while simultaneously scheming to steal a good mans cum smoothie out of his trash bin.
Ppen at August 29, 2014 7:41 AM
I am no longer hungry.
Midnight snacking averted.
Thank you.
Michelle at August 29, 2014 9:22 PM
NOT the fairer sex AT ALL!!!
(And neither are we.)
mpetrie98 at August 30, 2014 9:01 PM
The answer: Make dating ethical women a priority.
how easy is that? easy enough to find when you are one of 100 guys in line for that ethical woman since 9 out of 10 are unethical? And if dating ethical women is the advice for men, then why have laws for women instead of advising them to date ethical men(i know your advice is to date ethical men, but the govt., media etc want women to be protected at every step even from their own actions by big daddy o the govt. and courts).
And since women are tigresses and men are goats due to the powers bestowed upon them by american sharia, how on earth do you expect the men to find an ethical woman since ethics by and large is pretty much a power play where one does not do things because of consequences they have to face because of their actions which is something possible only when the conflict is between near equals and not between a tigress and a goat?
redrajesh at August 31, 2014 6:18 AM
@redrajesh- 90% of women are unethical and I am guessing out to steal your sperm and your wallet, right? Yeah, you're normal.
Sheep Mom at August 31, 2014 8:22 AM
I'm late to this conversation, but I thought I would add my personal experience to this as well. I cannot believe how many people are okay with tricking a man into being a dad. My husband and I have a son who turned two in May. I want a second child, and my husband has been on the fence, leaning more toward no, for some time now. I can't even remember how many people have heard this and said "well, accidents happen" followed by a *wink wink*... seriously, it's disgusting! Even our family doctor said this! I've always been sure to make those people feel about two inches tall by saying that I would NEVER do that to my husband (and honestly, who wants a child this way?!). I've only had one person also take my side and agree that it was wrong, when someone else suggested an on-purpose-"accident".... most people try to laugh it off like they're just kidding, but it's still really disturbing to me. I will say though, that these are usually people who don't know me very well, and I guess with good reason.
Angie at September 2, 2014 6:24 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2014/08/28/more_on_sperm_s.html#comment-5014424">comment from AngieAngie, good for you, and you're absolutely right on this wink-wink "accidents happen!" business. Disgusting. You don't responsibly bring a child into the world this way and it's simply not right to do this without a man's consent.
Amy Alkon at September 2, 2014 6:38 AM
To Angie: I hate to ask, but why would you be discussing something that personal with people you don't know well anyway? I never would.
It reminds me of all those stories at Bratfree of incredibly nosy acquaintances (not counting relatives, who, unfortunately, often think they're entitled to be as invasive as they want) who DEMAND to know why you aren't married and/or don't have kids - and get all huffy or worse when you say "I never wanted to." I have to wonder where these people live, since the childfree people themselves tend NOT to raise the subject with those who never asked such questions.
lenona at September 2, 2014 9:24 AM
Sheep Mom,
It is not 90% of women that are unethical. But ~66% of people who are unethical. It just doesn't make sense for a man to steal a woman's goo to get pregnant.
Ben at September 3, 2014 9:15 AM
lenona, it's usually at a friend's child's birthday party or something like that, where I'll have my son along, and one of their family members who kind of knows me, like they've seen me around and talked to me at previous birthday parties, but don't *actually* know me well. Or it'll be other moms there that have more than one child. I don't know why people feel the reason to ask, but it's usually an "are you going to have more" to which I usually say, "I'd like to, but my husband will take some convincing" or something along those lines. I realize no one deserves a response, or an explanation to such a personal question, but they're usually people I am not close with, but will eventually have to interact with again. These are the same people who suggest I trick my husband into more children, so I guess asking personal questions that are none of their business doesn't phase them either. If they were complete strangers that I'd never have to interact with again, I might just pretend I didn't hear the question, but I usually just file their behavior away in my memory and keep my distance.
Angie at September 7, 2014 8:14 PM
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