Because he knows Massachusetts city dwellers no longer know how to use a hunting rifle.

I would have thought Harvard Square was more of a Chivas Regal kind of place.

and ... Why did the turkey cross the road to get to Harvard?

I wanna hear Ole Aggie give a good response. I heard thousands of Aggie jokes growing up. He's gotta have a good one.

I've seen it before. Suicide by Harvard Square.

Not going to last long on the roads around there. If a car doesn't get him the bikes certainly will.

Sorry, it isn't a sheep. I got nothing.

A car might get him/her. A bike? Not. A. Chance. In. Hell.

Turkeys fly quite well.

Awe, with that you made me dig up an old one.

How do Aggies practice safe sex? They get rid of all the animals that kick.

I'll be here at all night ...

... To prove he wasn't a chicken

Turkeys fly quite well.

Turkeys can't fly for shit.

I was walking around in the woods one afternoon and frightened one of them on the ground. You know how little birds just sort of take off from a branch or whatever, and seem to be instantly airborne?

That turkey took off like it had to run a checklist. If I hadn't been startled by it, I could have caught it with my bare hands. Which would be a special kind of stupid, seeing how strong their legs are and noting the size of their claws, but getting into the air was not its best talent.

They can get to the top rail of a fence and into the lower branches of trees to roost, but as a flying animal they pretty much suck.

> Turkeys fly quite well.
>
> ?Turkeys can't fly for shit.

There's a boomer pop-culture reference, a pretty one, standing by the freeway with its skirt flipped over its head.

Anybody gonna go for it? Anyone?

Yeah, I know - WKRP in Cincinnati.

(I never saw that episode - I heard about it via alt.obituaries.)

I may have seen the same turkey, months ago. Don't know if any accidents connected with it would have made the news or not.

(They're a bit of a problem in Brookline, too - they're very territorial.)