A Therapist On The Psychology Of Muslim Culture
Psychologist Nicolai Sennels has worked with numerous Muslim clients (more than 100, he says) and writes a very interesting analysis about psychological differences between Western culture and Muslim culture. Here are a few excerpts:
AngerMuslim culture has a very different view of anger and in many ways opposite to what we experience here in the West.
Expressions of anger and threats are probably the quickest way to lose one's face in Western culture. In discussions, those who lose their temper have automatically lost, and I guess most people have observed the feeling of shame and loss of social status following expressions of aggression at one's work place or at home. In the Muslim culture, aggressive behavior, especially threats, are generally seen to be accepted, and even expected as a way of handling conflicts and social discrepancies. If a Muslim does not respond in a threatening way to insults or social irritation, he, not "she" (Muslim women are, mostly, expected to be humble and to not show power) is seen as weak, as someone who cannot be depended upon and loses face.
In the eyes of most Westerners it looks immature and childish when people try to use threatening behavior, to mark their dislikes. A Danish saying goes "...Only small dogs bark. Big dogs do not have to." That saying is deeply rooted in our cultural psychology as a guideline for civilized social behavior. To us, aggressive behavior is a clear sign of weakness. It is a sign of not being in control of oneself and lacking ability to handle a situation. We see peoples' ability to remain calm as self confidence, allowing them to create a constructive dialogue. Their knowledge of facts, use of common sense and ability in producing valid arguments is seen as a sign of strength.
The Islamic expression of "holy anger" is therefore completely contradictory to any Western understanding. Those two words in the same sentence sound contradictory to us. The terror-threatening and violent reaction of Muslims to the Danish Mohammed cartoons showing their prophet as a man willing to use violence to spread his message, is seen from our Western eyes as ironic. Muslims' aggressive reaction to a picture showing their prophet as aggressive, completely confirms the truth of the statement made by Kurt Westergaard in his satiric drawing.
This cultural difference is exceedingly important when dealing with Muslim regimes and organizations. Our way of handling political disagreement goes through diplomatic dialogue, and calls on Muslim leaders to use compassion, compromise and common sense. This peaceful approach is seen by Muslims as an expression of weakness and lack of courage. Thus avoiding the risks of a real fight is seen by them as weakness; when experienced in Muslim culture, it is an invitation to exploitation.
...HonorHonor is a central concept in the Muslim culture. Many Danish newspapers experienced mass rage from Muslims, when they published and re-published the Danish Mohammed cartoons. They have realized that Muslims are very easily offended.
What kind of honor needs to be protected by threats of terror and boycotts? Is this really honor? Maybe if seen through the glasses of a culture based on a book written 1400 years ago. However, when seen from the perspective of modern Western psychology, it surely is not. From our perspective such behavior is closer to being dishonorable.
Having to constantly keep up one's appearances, becoming insecure and reacting aggressively when criticized is the result of low self esteem. Unfortunately the Muslim culture tells its men that criticism must be taken completely personally and met with childish reactions.
True self confidence would allow the individual the ability to think or say: "Ok. You have your own opinion about me or my religion. I have another opinion, and as I trust myself, I will not let my view of myself, or my central values, be disturbed by you." Knowing one's own strengths and weaknesses and accepting them is the core and basis of good self confidence.
If you had ever spent time in a Muslim community you experience this very clearly. You would find yourself constantly trying not to offend anyone and you'd treat everybody like a rotten egg. Jokes, irony and, especially, self-irony is as good as non-existent. It creates a superficial social environment where unhealthy hierarchies appear everywhere because nobody dares to, for instance, point out the weaknesses of childish men and make fun of the powerful. There is an old Danish fairytale about a little boy that points out the nakedness of the King; "He has no clothes on!!" embarrassing the proud King wearing his non-existent magic clothes, which are only visible to "good people" (actually, the King was just naked - because the tailor had cheated him!). Such a story could never have been written in a Muslim culture.
Many young Muslims become assailants. This is not just because of the Muslim cultural acceptance of aggression, but also because the Muslim honor mentality makes them into fragile, insecure men. Instead of being flexible and humorous they become stiff and develop fragile, glass-like, narcissistic personalities.
Unfortunately, most journalists and media people use the term "honor" when describing cases of violence where the offender makes excuses for himself by stating that his honor was offended. Since the concept of honor is completely integrated in the social rules of Muslim culture, it is seen to be justifiable when honor is threatened. This extends to beating or killing women who want to claim such basic human rights as to choose, for themselves, their own sexual partners. By using this term, as used by the offender, the media automatically takes the perspective of a clearly psychopathic and narcissistic excuse for treating other people badly. Instead, we should take our own Western culture as a basis when describing such crimes. Terms like "family execution," "childish jealousy," "control maniac" or "insecure" would be much closer to our cultural understanding of such behavior.
He winds up with this -- but the entire thing is worth reading.
...Since the Muslim world is already here - in thousands of Muslim ghettoes in Europe, Australia and North America - the possibility that violent conflict will happen in Western cities all over the world is very great.We need to understand the Muslim culture much better if we want to be able to stop such a catastrophe. We need to understand that it is not possible to integrate masses of Muslims into our Western societies. We need to understand that our non-confrontational Western ways of handling conflicts make us look weak and vulnerable to Muslim leaders. We need to understand that Muslim culture is much stronger and more determined than our guilt-ridden, self-excusing Western culture. We need to understand that Muslims will only feel at home in a Muslim culture and this is why their religious demands for Islamization of the West will never end.
Are you taking questions yet?
Crid at July 24, 2016 1:19 AM
Superfreek Moozlims!
Crid at July 24, 2016 4:10 AM
Plus, seriousballs, why are you looking to a therapist for insight on world events?
Crid at July 24, 2016 4:12 AM
Because he has far more -- intense, daily -- experience with Muslim culture than you or I do.
Amy Alkon at July 24, 2016 6:24 AM
No therapist who wasn't a quack, would have treated a hundred patients who all happened to be Christian, and then opine that he knew all about *Christian culture*
Because there is no such thing as *Christian Culture* and there is no such thing as *Muslim Culture*
Also remember anyone who seeks out a therapist has already sell selected themselves for being screwed up. Not exactly a random sample.
Muslims, like Christians come from many different cultures, and both religions have been either imposed on or adapted into various diverse cultures with varying degrees of success.
He would have been somewhat more legitimate in talking about *Arabic culture* but that would have been reinventing the wheel, and would exclude a large number of his patients who were not actually Arab, but perhaps Kurdish, Turkish, or from various other Asian or Middle Eastern countries or ethnicities.
There are a number of good academic studies about Arab, and Persian culture, but in a huge effort to generalize and turn his conclusions into a Readers digest pile of crap, I am sure he didn't bother to break down his clients into the various cultures that they came from. Because 100 Muslim patients sounds so much more authoritative than *I treated ten Arabs* and *seven Turks* etc.
PPen tried to point this out to you, but I guess nothing gets in there anymore that doesn't reinforce what you have already decided is true.
Isab at July 24, 2016 9:17 AM
I quite think that "Christian culture" actually is Westernized culture. We do tend to handle conflict the way Jesus taught, and it is why there is such a different mindset when it comes to settling conflict. There is a Christian/Western expectation to GROW UP, put away childish things. There is a Christian/Western expectation to bear fruit in your life, to strive to have love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control, and gentleness. So we are peace-makers, patient in dealing with others. Not quick to respond and react in our anger. And when we are angry, to not sin. I would definitely say that the West would seem to most to be a Christianized culture. It may sound better to call it classify it by regional, but to me, Christian v. Muslim is the broadest and most accurate stroke you could name it.
gooseegg at July 24, 2016 11:25 AM
> far more -- intense, daily --
> experience with Muslim culture
> than you or I
So you're supposed to know people before you talk about them with such certainty?
Well then.
Crid at July 24, 2016 11:26 AM
This has a name.
Crid at July 24, 2016 11:55 AM
It may sound better to call it classify it by regional, but to me, Christian v. Muslim is the broadest and most accurate stroke you could name it.
gooseegg at July 24, 2016 11:25 AM
I can't begin to describe how naive, ahistorical and culturally ignorant this belief of yours is.
Let's start with the fact that it totally ignores billions of ethical and kind people on this planet who are neither Christian nor Muslim.
If you honestly think that an Ethiopian Coptic Christian who practices female genital mutilation, has a value system and world view closer to yours than a third generation American Muslim from Istanbul, there is no hope.
Isab at July 24, 2016 2:40 PM
Jokes, irony and, especially, self-irony is as good as non-existent.
So, if I'm in Riyadh, I guess my "Don't you guys find it ironic that there's ham in Muhammad?" line probably wouldn't go over very well.
JD at July 24, 2016 3:53 PM
Well, probably it wouldn't, but I'm writing it down anyway.
Crid at July 24, 2016 5:36 PM
Problem with the threats is when a westerner, not being familiar with the situation, decides he needs to punch loudmouth in the face. The Muslim thinks he's just getting warmed up and the westerner thinks he's about to be assaulted.
There's a saying, "Beware the anger of a quiet man".
Richard Aubrey at July 25, 2016 5:08 AM
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