Unless he's going to a college like I went to, that had a 6-1 guy to girl ratio while i was there. I know they were trying to lower the ratio, but even with significantly lower standards for girls, they weren't going to even it out. Suckiest thing about an engineering school.

So, what's with going after the e-mail order girlfriends?

That was my first question. College is widely regarded as the best time in your life to meet people. William is right that he could be attending a school with a seriously out of whack ratio of men to women, but most colleges aren't like that. Even if his school is, there are always friends of friends, acquaintances, acquaintances of acquaintances, and that cute girl over by the salsa at the Lambda Chi party your friend invited you to.

This line of his was especially troubling:

I've experienced the online/in-person divergence before

What? His age isn't mentioned in the letter, but he certainly sounds like he is of the traditional college age. So why the hell has he spent so much time on the online dating scene? He's experienced the diversion before, so I conclude there were times that he didn't. I therefore further conclude that he's spent too much time thinking he can order the perfect woman for him off of Amazon.

Dude, Amy's right. Snap on a set of her pink tiger-print balls and actually strike up a conversation with a girl you see in the real world. There's no better opening line for a college student than that thing you both have in common: college. This is likely the time in your life that it will be easiest to meet women, so take advantage.

The potential problem with his most recent online date isn't really the core issue here, but I have to say that he should be wary of a woman who posts blurry photos of herself. Women post the photos that are the most flattering, even if some take it too far and they're ten years out of date. Either she's hiding something or she doesn't care enough to show what she actually looks like. Either way, it's trouble.

Meet her for drinks and if she's far from your ideal, don't invite her to stay on for dinner. Or, do the 'I'm wearing this color shirt, what will you be wearing?' thing and don't put on the shirt until you've thoroughly scoped her out and made sure she looks closer to Heidi Klum then a Hobbit.

I wonder if my Facebook commenter friends will ever join the discussion. I post your articles every week and one person commented on the comments of this week's column.

Here's what I'm reading between the lines of his letter.

"My friends and family say I'm being shallow, that I should focus on how good a person she is. I'm not bad looking, but I could lose 10 pounds, so I see their point. But I'm a smart guy with a promising career ahead, and I really desire an attractive woman (at least better than average)."

"My friends and family are constantly trying to tell me I'm not hot enough to bag a girl that looks like a porn star, but I prefer to spend all my time online fantasizing rather than getting my ass to the gym in order to make myself attractive to hot girls. I expect them to notice my mind and career prospects even though I'm judging them solely by their looks."

Yeah, I've known guys like this before. We would not be doing him any favors by telling him anything other than "Put the keyboard down and back slowly away from the computer. Go to the gym." And of course, Amy's advice is the capper-- "Talk to the girls around you!" There's a reason he keeps trying to meet girls online rather than in the real world. He needs to address these issues or he'll never find happiness.

There's a reason he keeps trying to meet girls online rather than in the real world. He needs to address these issues or he'll never find happiness.

Exactly! And as Mr. Zappa once said, "The crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe."

Guy sounds like he's got some issues other than just lazy-ass syndrome.

I have an aquaintance who is a fairly successful artist (sculptor). One night, after he brought around a woman he was dating, who was, by most men's standards, pretty, in that girl-next-door kind of way, he told me he just didn't feel it for her. And I said, "Well, being an artist, you're even more afflicted by the visual than the average guy. You're a perfectionist about proportions." He was suprised I got that. Then, he looked down at his pudgy stomach and said, "Yeah, but I've let myself go. I need to get in shape." I agreed.

I just saw him a few days ago, with a lovely blond on his arm, and he was all bulked up from working out. It was nice to see a guy understand that he has to pull his own end of the bargain if he wants a really hot girlfriend.

On-line dating is way more common and accepted in the younger crowd than it is for the older crowd.
Second, the line "But I'm a smart guy with a promising career ahead," shouts Engineering school to me. With as William said can have a 6-1 ratio. Which sounds bad but is actually worse since you have to realise that most of those women are already in a relationship. so it is more a 12-1 ratio of single guys to single girls.
Going to the kegger, you may find 50 guys 10 girls, 8 of whom are taken. The other 2 are fending off 40 guys advances.

There's nothing wrong with using dating sites to weed through potential mates. Far better than meeting some random coed at a bar where everyone is downing shots.

The beauty of online dating is that you can find out ahead of time whether you have any common interests or goals. You just can't make it ALL you do. You don't "meet online" You meet face to face. Online dating is a misnomer. You don't date someone online, you pre-screen them.

But fuzzy photos are never a good sign. Few attractive woman only have fuzzy photos of themselves. He should ask her to video chat, or text him spur of the moment photos. He can do that of himself too, so that if she's not going to have interest, they don't need to bother meeting.

"You're in college. Never again will you be in a place so swarming with dateable women -- women who'll want to know stuff like "You goin' to that kegger?" and "Oh, cool, you're poli sci, too?" as opposed to "How do you feel about dating a single mother?" Grow a pair and lean over in class and talk to girls."

Lol .. LW, I have to second this ... my biggest regret is not just having a whole lot more fun with women when I was younger! (Not that I didn't, but I could've had a helluva lot more.) Grow a pair ... I was super-shy and had serious self-esteem problems, but if I could 'grow a pair' anyone can.

I'm totally willing to admit I'm in a minority, possibly because I come from a fairly well-to-do family, have a good education, and own my own home. But really, even at the advanced age of 44, I still notice a man more for his looks than what he's driving (okay, if he has a really nice motorcycle, I'd notice that. Or a sweet 1972 Charger. But a Lexus? Booooring.) If he's a brainless twat with good bone structure, i won't want to date him, but given the choice between a smart, sexy truck driver and an overweight boring banker, I'd take the hottie. Is this just because I can pay my own mortgage so I don't need a man to do it? Not arguing with Amy's contention that most women aren't like me, just genuinely wondering what the thinking is. (And yes, the super hot, super smart, super rich guy would be awesome . . . just saying that I'm more likely to notice sexy and smart over rich, nit that I don't like rich. FWIW).

*not* not "nit*. Darn undercaffeinated fingers.

"Meet her for drinks and if she's far from your ideal, don't invite her to stay on for dinner."

Yup, it's as simple as that. What's with all the agonizing? If it doesn't work, you move on to the next one. Heck, line up a dozen more. It's almost as if you've pinned all hope on this one person.

"I just saw him a few days ago, with a lovely blond on his arm, and he was all bulked up from working out. It was nice to see a guy understand that he has to pull his own end of the bargain if he wants a really hot girlfriend."

I agree! I hate how so many men just let themselves get ugly and pudgy. Funny how seldom one hears women admit this openly though.

I'm a 51 year old woman, and I've always dated hot guys (always younger). I attribute it to having a weak stomach, and am revolted by the idea of a not-hot guy touching me. Due to the Freakonomics of supply and demand, I've got a good selection to choose from, because I've always been found attractive by men, and I keep myself in tip-top condition. (I was a Sunshine girl when I was 21, and am in better shape now than then) I've also always supported myself and I like my independence.

My boyfriend started getting a potbelly, and I told him I don't like it, so he is going to get rid of it. I'm not going to be 'too nice' and pretend it's not there. He doesn't want to see a look of revulsion on my face, just pure animal lust!

I always figured that you have to see them naked in bed, and money can't change the way they look there.

"I always figured that you have to see them naked in bed, and money can't change the way they look there." lol

Yeah, it's important to note that, in those studies, they didn't show them naked, just sitting in expensive cars.

"I always figured that you have to see them naked in bed, and money can't change the way they look there."

Lol .. I sometimes wonder how many of all the married couples having 'problems with their sex life' and agonising over all the possible psychological etc. causes, actually just need one or both of them to get in physical shape and get themselves attractive. It's like this elephant in the room that nobody wants to admit is a factor. Like we're terrified of the 'shallow' label or something.

Chrissy, you had me at 'sunshine girl' ... I'm a hot and always younger guy, can I get your number ;) (kidding)

LW: Either you she floats your boat or she don't. It's not personal, it's just life, no use agonising over it. As a friend of mine sometimes says, women are like busses, there's one along every 10 minutes. The older (and more successful) I get, the more true that seems.

"But I'm a smart guy with a promising career ahead, and I really desire an attractive woman (at least better than average)."

Dude, I get it. You're planning to be rich and you think this entitles you to a trophy wife. Many people before you have made the same life choice, so that's cool.

HOWEVER, comma, right now you're just another schlub in school, so you might want to stop selling your future self and start marketing what you've got at the moment, whatever that happens to be.

I think Melissa G may have you nailed, but I don't really know you well enough to say for sure. If your friends say you're being shallow...uh, all of them, or just some of them? Might be a red flag, or maybe you're just touchy about being called shallow?

Regardless, water tends to find its own level, and with the exception of the rich and famous, most people tend to date other people who are in the same "class," if you will, of attractiveness. If you're aiming for women outside of your personal level of attractiveness, you really need to bring your A game, which typically doesn't include talking about how rich and awesome you're going to be IN THE FUTURE.

You gotta be awesome NOW, because with the economy in the shitter, it's impossible to know what your future holds. Apparently the current unemployment rate is screwing over even college graduates with theoretical "promising careers."

which typically doesn't include talking about how rich and awesome you're going to be IN THE FUTURE.

Exactly. This approach might work for him if he's OK with women telling him how beautiful they are going to look in 10 years.

That said, don't date people you're not attracted to. Being shallow's OK.

LW, it don't matter if those pictures are crystal clear. If you've been through this before, you know how people lie.

Until you meet this woman face to face, you don't even know if she exists, let alone what she looks like. That fuzzy picture could even be a new ploy in on-line deception (I'm still in yesterday's conspiracy mode here). As far as how good a person she is, well you don't know that either. You gotta meet her and get to know her. Just like in real life.

So pull on your big-boy pants (god, I wish that line was mine)and go outside and interact with some real wimmins. Or hey! You could even write about your doubts To This Girl!

And while I'm ranting, thanks to the posters who remind men it wouldn't hurt for them to try to look good, too.

Sometimes I wonder how many men read Amy's comments and decide they don't need to give a shit about their appearance as long as they have enough money.

It's true, you will get women if you have money and power. But if that's all you have, at some point you will find them with the young stud or studs with whom they're sharing the sex and your money.

On the one hand, it's good to have standards and go for them. On the other, if your standards are too far out of whack with reality, you're gonna have trouble meeting them.

"I might be rich someday" isn't gonna cut it. And in the mean time, he should practice dating. He doesn't have to marry his college sweetheart, but it is good to get some experience. I don't just mean sexual, I mean heck abstain till marriage if you want... but practice socializing, being in a relationship, experiencing a bit of heartbreak.

Anyhow, if you find yourself attracted to a pool of people so small it is unobtainable, maybe something else is going on. Maybe it's an excuse.

This approach might work for him if he's OK with women telling him how beautiful they are going to look in 10 years.

Thread Winner!

I've had people counsel me that I ought to lower my standards. I've asked them "What's the point of dating women that I can't get excited about?" Every one of them has agreed that I had a point.

I agree that there's nothing inherently wrong with being shallow, but he should at least be honest about it.

Sack up, dude.

Ask for a clear picture in all due haste, be clear about why it's important to you and how important. You might find that a lot of women don't like this approach, but if this is who you are, you might as well be up front about it.

It saves a lot of time.

side topic .... dont think that engineering degrees are all they are cracked up to be. They are right up there with IT. Every company in the US is ponying up to this offshoring trend, and engineers and computer geeks are at the top of the list of jobs they want to ship to India

In defensive of online dating in college: I'm a college student, and recently I tried online dating for about a month. (I deleted my account after 4 weeks because I started exclusively dating someone I met on the site). I go to a big state university so meeting people isn't the problem: it's meeting guys that are actually that are interested in more than a hook-up or one-night-stand. Especially since I tend to be attracted to athletes or traditionally "hot" guys--the last couple guys I dated were on the football team--and these guys can sleep with literally anyone they want and thus have zero incentive to settle down. The guy I'm dating now was also the sleep-your-way-through-college type, but now he's working fulltime and settled down and therefore more on the same page as me--but I would never have crossed paths with him if I hadn't been looking online. So even though LW probably has different reasons than me for online dating, I can relate to why a college student might take this route.

In terms of being shallow, I think it's everyone's prerogative to be as shallow as they want. Everyone has different ideas of what they find attractive, and chances are there's someone out there that you find attractive who is also attracted to you. On the other hand, it's important to be realistic about what you're bringing to the table, and accept that you don't automatically "deserve" a hot girl just because you have a high paying job (or a great personality, or a compassionate spirit or whatever)-ESPECIALLY when you're still in school and haven't actually landed that high paying job yet.

Oh, and I have the obvious and easy answer to the LW's dilemma: friend her on facebook. If she's anything like the normal college student, you'll get to see at least 100 hundred pictures, and if not, well that should be a big red flag.

How is it that no one has mentioned the fact that this woman lives three hours away? Supposing she is as good looking as you hope she is, which she is not, how are you going to get to know her when she is three hours away?

Although I'm sure there is a lot of anecdotal evidence out there that the online dating thing works for some people, let's face it -- it's typically silly and a waste of time.

Do things that you like to do in terms of hobbyist groups, etc. There will be a like-minded person there to meet and date. She will be real and local. Don't do it for the purpose of meeting women, do it because it is something you like to do and you want to get the heck out of your house.

Thinking you can meet someone meaningful while you are sitting in your house, alone, typing at your computer, and in your underpants is just not likely to work. Get out of the house and be social.

The college experience offers a lot more of these types of opportunities than most environments. My son, who is in college, has been having a lot of fun taking free salsa dancing lessons in the evenings. It's fun in its own right and has born fruit as a source of lovely, active, interesting young women to date.

"Thinking you can meet someone meaningful while you are sitting in your house, alone, typing at your computer, and in your underpants is just not likely to work."

Yes, it does. I have three friends who are in relationships now with people they first "met" online. It is tremendously expedient, and expands your prospects far better than joining hobbyist groups.

So much socializing is done online now. There are countless stories of lovers uniting and reuniting on Facebook, for instance.

This doesn't mean they don't see each other in person, or have real life relationships. The online networking just provides the introductions. Frankly, the ignorant remarks about online dating annoy me. If you haven't tried it, don't knock it.

For instance, one of my artist friends has very specific, high brow interests - theater, classical music, and fine art. He's tried joining artsy groups to meet women, to no avail, yet he could type in those keywords on a dating site and, within seconds, find all the ladies in his area interested in those same things! For the past year, he's been exclusively dating a woman he met online who loves to attend concerts and art shows with him. I think they'll probably marry, so online dating sites do work.

"This doesn't mean they don't see each other in person, or have real life relationships. The online networking just provides the introductions. "

True-but probably not when the person you're talking to lives 3 hours away. I mean, this guy has a whole internet of women out there, and he can't even find someone in his own state, let alone with a decent picture? Something isn't adding up. I'm not knocking online dating (I did it!), but I'm guessing that in this particular case the LW would benefit more from going out developing his social skills, as Amy and JonQ suggest.

I think online dating is great, but agree 3 hours distance is pretty strange. You should live close enough that you can meet the day after you connect through email. But if that's how far you are, then, make the drive already.

When I was online dating, I took down my picture because I had too many guys emailing me stupid crap: "U r hot. I am 2. Let's get 2gether!" along with a picture of them standing in front of their sports car. Ugh. Maybe some women find that an irresistible turn-on, but I preferred to date someone who had actually bothered to read my profile, not just "wink" at me because I was blonde and not overweight.

Taking down my picture (and my weight stats) reduced the number of hits I received, but the quality of those remaining was much higher.

However, once a guy did email me, I asked to meet him right away. Yes, I did want him to find me attractive; and I wanted to make sure I found him attractive too! Even beyond that, there's such a thing as "chemistry," where you just click with someone, that you can't tell from even the clearest and most honest photo.

"Taking down my picture (and my weight stats) reduced the number of hits I received, but the quality of those remaining was much higher."

Problem with taking this approach is that you may be screening out the legit guys along with the creepers. I always deleted any messages or winks from guys with no picture, because it sends up a red flag (what are they hiding?) and honestly I didn't want to waste any time talking to a guy that I wasn't immediately attracted to. I guess it depends how much of a priority looks are for you-they are for me, so I expect to be judged by the same criteria.

I don't get why it's shallow to care what someone looks like AT ALL. Would you go shopping blind? Just throw clothes in the basket, without looking at the color or style?

We all prefer different styles of people, and I think you can tell a lot about who someone is by looking at their eyes and features. I also liked seeing photos from their lives, which gives you an inkling of what they like to do and what kind of friends they have...or, more importantly, if they have friends. lol

It's only shallow if you can't tolerate any imperfections. But most of us weed through photos accepting that no one is perfect. We may think, "He's a little overweight, but he has a great smile," or "She has a big nose, but I love her hair and eyes." We decide what imperfections we can live with and what features attract us.

But if you're saying to yourself, "She doesn't lool like a supermodel", then you're being too shallow.

"I think online dating is great, but agree 3 hours distance is pretty strange. You should live close enough that you can meet the day after you connect through email"

A friend of mine met and 'dated' his now-wife online while on different continents and timezones. They're now happily married with a third child recently arrived. Still, that might be the exception.

"along with a picture of them standing in front of their sports car."

There are decent men with sports cars. Or was it more their attitude?

"but I'm guessing that in this particular case the LW would benefit more from going out developing his social skills"

Well, maybe some people just don't have great in-person social skills, and using the Internet helps people like that find someone. Call it a cop-out if you will, but my above-mentioned friend had problems with anxiety, and I guess it was easier for him to chat to people online, and it worked out for him.

So much socializing is done online now. There are countless stories of lovers uniting and reuniting on Facebook, for instance.

When I was dating, people suggested meeting men "doing what I do," meaning join interest groups and such. Well, what I did was soapmaking, candlemaking, scrapbooking and crochet. The only people I would have met in those groups were women.

I tried online dating when I realized that I do, in fact, spend a significant amount of my time online. I never would have met my husband in any organic way. He lived a 2-hour drive away and was in a completely different field. Fortunately, he was specifically looking for women in nearby states because he had grown disenchanted with Jersey girls.

My best friend met her husband of 10 years in a chat room in college, and he lived 5 hours away.

Online dating isn't bad, even if you're a college guy with access to lots of college girls. It just has its own tricks, just like traditional dating.

I live in a very small community, so when I dated online, I typically had to date men who were at least an hour away. There were few men to choose from in my own town, online or otherwise.

It was difficult. The worst part was that I couldn't just meet them for coffee to see if we clicked. When we met, it required enough effort - a long drive - that it didn't seem right to just cut it short. I ended up having awkward dinners with many guys that I knew within the first few minutes weren't right for me, or sensed I wasn't right for them.

This ultimately made me a lot more selective about who I chose to meet. I asked for more photos, and I also bought a webcam so I could see and chat with the guys (who had them also) before we met. It made the first meetings much easier because we had both already seen each other so disappointment over appearance wasn't likely.

So, I would caution the LW that he will have the same awkward issue if they do meet. You can't easily tell someone who drives for 3 hrs to see you to turn around and leave if they don't appeal to you. He should invest in a webcam and ask her to get one too so they can chat live. That will give him a better idea whether there's chemistry or not.

After reading all these comments about online dating, I still contend that his online dating skills are not the core problem. There's nothing wrong with wanting a woman he's attracted to. There's nothing inherently wrong with trying to find that woman on a dating site. What is wrong here, in my view, is that this is all he's doing.

Your tales above about online dating successes have come after not having success in the actual world around you, for various reasons, probably time foremost among them. Meeting someone online is a wonderful solution to that. But this guy has not been trying to meet people around him. He's shopping for a girl like you'd shop on the build-your-car page of an auto manufacturer. He wants slim lines, a cushy interior, and preferably not a hatchback.

This guy is probably around 22, in college, and is actively trying not to meet women in person. Like lovelysoul just said, I can't think that a guy scared to actually strike up a conversation with a woman sitting next to him will have much luck when it comes to those face-to-face meetings with the women he meets online. Even if this guy does go to a predominantly male school (which I see no evidence of either way in the letter), there are still females to be had. His classmates have friends and acquaintances he could meet. As most technical schools (if he does attend one) aren't out in the middle of nowhere, chances are there's another college nearby. That means college girls hanging around town. And college parties where there will be girls. And coffee shops where there will be girls. And any number of other venues where there will be girls.

Removing himself from the actual proceedings as much as possible isn't going to help this guy in dating. He'll likely still have the same problem when it comes time to actually meet the online women out in the world. And I'm with the poster above who said that it's strange that the only viable woman he's met online lives three hours away. Methinks this LW may be the teensiest bit self-defeating.

Current stats say 1 in 5 couples met online.
I do think it's more popular in "mature" people.
When you are young you are out more w/ friends-what LW should be doing. If he was w/ 2-3 other dudes, they could talk to little groups of girls. That way when 2 of that group click they can get a conversation going easily as the group feel is an ice breaker.
I am in my 40s and met my fiance online(eHarmony). We're getting married in 2 weeks! Yay!
Online dating gives you choices and helps you to meet people out of your usual circle-my guy lived 50 miles away so we would not have met by chance.
That being said-you still have to be attracted to each other and click, chemistry-wise.
Out of the men they matched me up w/, some were not cute at all & I deleted them quickly no matter how nice they were or successful. I am quite visual for a woman. My guy's looks attracted me(the Brit accent sure didn't hurt either!)but his personality and values are what kept me attracted.
I gained 30 pounds after we moved in together-he hated that(I have struggled all my life w/ weight) but he stuck around b/c of my personality/values. I have now lost the 30 and am still working on it-the white wedding dress really made me get serious! He may be visual but he stayed when he saw what was inside me. He's def. more attracted now that the outside looks as good as the inside!
At LW's age, there are lots of opportunities to meet girls-he just has to put the time in. Join a gym-lose that 10,tone up, talk to the girl on the next treadmill, you never know where or how you will meet the one who is special but you have to try!

Hello all!
Although I read the site almost every day, I seldom comment because i'm at work. However, I have a great story to relate...I'm 41. Now, i'm relativly hot for my age, but, like a lot of women, don't bank on my looks for much of anything. I sing, and about a year ago was looking for a band to hook up with. Every ad I read for a female singer said the same thing "must be easy on the eyes....". While I agree that having a hot woman front a band is better than a homely one, the whole thing got under my skin. The last ad I posted was as follows: "40 year old female vocalist. On stage for the first time at 4 years old, been singing all my life, unfortunatley, i'm a real bow-wow. So, if you don't mind a butt ugly singer with a kick ass voice, please respond....." I actually got a number of responses, the last one being the band that i'm with now! Needless to say, they were more than a little relieved when they saw me for the first time....lolol!

...as I'm always pointing out, countless studies across cultures show that male sexuality is looks-driven, while women evolved to prioritize money and mojo in men. That's why it's women asking "Do I look fat in these pants?" while the parallel question from men would be "Do I look unemployed on this couch?"

This is why I don't think it's as ludicrous as some people do when TV couples consist of hot chick/fat guy. Of course, on TV it's usually hot, smart chick/fat, stupid, lazy guy. That is the only ridiculous part. My husband is smart, driven, successful, and fat. I didn't marry him because he'd be a good provider; I married him because I fell in love with him.

I fell in love with him, at least in part, because he's a good provider. Subtle but important difference.

People who post fuzzy hard-to-see pics of themselves on dating sites are in the same class as those who post pics of someone else (usually younger, much better looking) and claim it's them. It's dishonest to say the least. I always wonder how that person thinks they will explain it when they meet the date. I know someone who met an online hook-up, and he couldn't believe what she looked like (bad) when she stood in front of him. Of course, he asked what gives, and she admitted that she was using a pic of her daughter on the dating site. Not just dishonest, but imagine what the daughter would think if she found out. What are they thinking?? I guess it's about as good as saying how beautiful they DID look 10 years ago.

I always wonder how that person thinks they will explain it when they meet the date.

That's a good point. I can understand using a photo of you that's you at your most flattering (good lighting and great makeup versus the snapshot your sister took of you at the cookout right after your nephew pelted you in the chest with potato salad-- definitely go with the first option). But in using a photo of someone else or an old photo, you're shooting yourself in the foot early on. I guess the thinking is that he already likes you, so he'll look past the fact that you lied to him before you even met. I wonder if those women would be as forgiving to a man who admitted on the first meeting that when he said he worked on Wall Street, he really does...selling hot dogs from a cart. Ask Fran Fine, it happened to her.

Geese William, you must be getting on in years because engineering schools now have more females than males and it is NOT because the standards are lower for women. The problem that female engineers face is men like you who think that the women only got by because of lower standards. I know many female engineers who faced constant harrassment from men who thought that the women were subject to lower standards despite the fact that these women were at the top of the class.

This little sniveler is not worth commenting on.

I am bald, and have hair growing not only out of my nose but on my back, the top of my ears, and everywhere except out of the top of my head. And still the girls in the gym want my phone number.

That said, I met an Indian hottie through Craigslist, just by running an ad seeking HIQ women. She got it: High IQ. Harvard grad!

However, I did not fall in love through e-mails, or even after banging around. But it was fun.

See why you should avoid the online tango?

BOTU might be there. Even after sweating with his Indian of the moment, who realized "her" mistake, keyword, "was".

Enough already with the "online dating is only for losers" shtick!

I (female), my only child (male), and my best friend (male) are each married to people we met online. Why online rather than a bar, or the library, or a sporting event? Because all six of us are high-IQ (Mensa's "top 2%"). Try finding THAT in random public meeting places -- AFTER you've weeded out the uglies and the borings and the marrieds-playing-single!

Online is definitely the way to go for geekboys/geekgirls and other intellectuals. LW and other engineering-school guys, please do not despair! There are plenty of smart women out there looking for someone just like you. I don't mean the 2s and 3s that legitimately offend your eyes; I'm talking about 7s, 8s, and even 9s who are simply sick unto death of sitting home Friday nights because "Reference books can't be taken out" and "Men don't make passes at girls who wear glasses."

Just one caveat: Online dating's ease of meeting does not automatically translate into ease of keeping. If you have not begun to do so already, use these college years to develop the social skills so utterly necessary to success in the Very Real Lifelong World of dating, mating, family-raising, career-building, and community involvement.