Thrilled? The appropriate response used to be 'I'm a married woman', 'What kind of a woman do you take me for/' or some variation thereof. She's thrilled that a guy who knows she's married is asking her to cheat on her husband, what a guy!

LW, if you could, for even one second, take this seriously rather than laugh in Rockerboi's face, I feel really sorry for your husband. Marriage is work. It is not set in stone, it takes 2 people working together as a team, best friends for life. I would never, ever cheat on, or lie to my best friend. Especially not for a fling with an STD-waiting-to-happen.

You already had your ego stroked, now grow up and get back to your husband. Make him breakfast, be extra cuddly. you don't have to tell him why he's getting the extra TLC, but you do owe it to him.

Oh, and never, ever tell him. That would be stupid.

I want you to imagine saying all this to your husband. I want you to picture sitting down with him and saying, "honey, I love you, but this famous guy wants me to have a fling with him and I am seriously considering it. I know that I love you, and you love me, and all that stuff. But this guy is FAMOUS! I mean, how can I pass up the chance for meaningless sex with a STAR?!"

If that doesn't make you sick to think about, imagine the reverse. Imagine HIM saying that to you. If you still don't feel absolutely awful, then you are a horrible person and never should have married him.

Is he married too? ...Or is he the only single one in the band?

Thousands of girls want his attention. And you have it! That's awesome!

Do you really need more than that? You ALREADY have his attention, which is obviously a huge ego boost. That's great! Sleeping with him won't give you his attention, you already have it!

Every troubadour needs a "Belle Dame sans Merci"

Oh, and if you sleep with him you are no longer the "Belle Dame sans Merci", but just some girl he banged.

Hey LW imagine having this conversation with your dh, "Guess what honey, I've picked up an STD and now you have it too. Don't worry though, I got it from the lead singer of our favorite band, so it's like you slept with him too! Isn't that great?! Let's post it on Facebook so all of friends can be jealous of our good luck." Duh!

Been there, done that. I wasn't married, but still. Rock stars are no better than any other guys. More people are aware of them, that's all. And I've known some rockers who are absolute shits. Get over yourself, LW, and pay more attention to the man you're married to.

Sheesh.

"I'm shocked and thrilled, to say the least."

Why? Is this a better man than your husband? How could you know at this point? All you know for sure right now is that he has no qualms about sleeping with a married woman, and presumably, would have no qualms about sleeping with another one.

"Don't worry though, I got it from the lead singer of our favorite band, so it's like you slept with him too!" You got me laughing, Sheep Mommy!

Oh, I ain't even done yet. This irritates me. Even the LW's pen name irritates me. Chosen? Chosen like what? Bacon? Chosen by whom? Some dude who, if it weren't for a guitar, would just be some schmuck hitting on a married woman? Chosen! Cripes!

Divorce now, letterwriter. If you love your husband, you should make sure he is freed from the self-absorbed narcissist lacking any self-awareness that he was duped into marrying.

Hopefully the next woman he marries will not be nearly so willing to have on-the-sly sex with strangers. (Famous does not mean he is not a stranger, you know.)

NicoleK says it best. If you want to be "somebody," be the girl who turned down Johnny Whatshisface.

That's the only way he's going remember (and maybe even want) you forever.

I would tell my husband that rock star boy propositioned me, because early in our relationship we agreed to disclose these things. That will keep you from doing anything dumb.

I say sleep with the rock star, but charge him. Might as well make your status as a whore official.

And letting your husband know that your are a narcissistic bitch would be helpful to him now rather than later after your destroyed his soul.

...he was just a guy with dyed black hair who played music.

Ian Astbury? He IS a nice guy, from what I remember. He just got married to Aimee Nash of Black Ryder fame. A lot of 'em are really just nice guys, and some of them aren't. Depends on their mood, I guess. (You know, just like anyone else!)

Gross.

I have worked in a titty bar, and have friends in the local music/concert production crowd, so I know plenty of girls who've slept with famous men. It's not special. And if you come to your senses and decide to stay away from this guy, he'll be just fine because a stripper in the next city will keep him occupied. Of course, that was going to happen anyway.

And if you find yourself heaving like a pathetic groupie every time you get near someone who has a single on the radio, maybe it's time to quit trying to sneak backstage.

I just keep thinking, Hey I'm special I'm the 2,455 notch on his bedpost. Aren't I unique and special.

I like what Amy said, that famous people don't fuck better than non-famous people. I'd argue that they probably fuck much worse, b/c they don't think they have to try.

ITA with everyone else, but also would like to add: "Affair?" He wants to have an affair with you? More like he wants to bang you in the tour bus. I think she's trying to dignify this by using a word that, while describing adultery, generally has been used to describe adultery which is ongoing and involves some emotional involvement. I doubt very much that this is the case with Mr. Indie Musician.

"thousands of women wish they had this guy's attention"

Correction: thousands of women do have this guy's attention. It's a perk of being famous. Do you really want to throw away your marriage just so you can be some rocker's temporary piece of ass?

Spartee has hit the main point, which is that LW doesn't sound nearly mature enough to be married and should either get up to speed in a hurry or cut her husband loose, whether she sleeps with Bon Jovi or not.

(1) I predict disaster. If she declines, he's likely to keep trying. It might be hard on a rockerboi's ego to be rejected.

(2) Ya know what's thrilling? Looking back over years of faithful marraige to your best pal and knowing it was hard work but worth every moment.

Famous people don't fuck better than non-famous ones.

I'm sure that's true, Amy, but she's not thrilled because she thinks he's gonna be a fantastic fuck. She's thrilled because of his status. As you know, status can be a powerful turn-on for women.

In all "fairness" to the wife, it's entirely possibly her husband would be thinking "I love my wife...but you only live once", if a hot woman propositioned him. Of course, this woman wouldn't have to be a rock star in a famous alternative band. She'd just have to be pretty and sexy. Although if she was Kate Beckinsale, that would probably be a nice bonus.

Sometimes I want these letters to be fake so badly my teeth ache.

LW, you are a nitwit. Marriage means sacrifice. One big sacrifice is that you don't get to sleep with other people anymore (unless you both agreed that you could).

I might be wrong, but I'm guessing your husband has had sex with fewer people than Mr. Famous. And he vowed to spend the rest of his life with you. Being "Chosen" for the life he promised is far more impressive than being chosen for a quick shag in a tour bus.

Once again. WTF! This woman is looking for an excuse and/or permission.

When did the world come with some much gray!

Sometimes in life there are simple yes and no rules. Why can I not drive on the left side of the street? Can hit this person because they made me angry. Why can't I just leave my 4 year oids alone for a week with some food and TV.

LW accept the ideal there is no gray. It is black or white. And no there is no permission. Well to make sure double check the wedding license and vows. Maybe there is a loophole.

Maybe there is a spectrum of allowance for infidelity.

From I must have sex with this man or he will destroy the world.

I had to screw him or he would ________ (do something bad).

I had to screw him because _______ something good would happen.

Sorry dear I slept with the whore but she had a special going. Would you believe it only 20 dollars for a blow job.

He was an old boyfriend. We had history.

It was the President and it was my loyal duty to serve my country.

Whoops, I slipped and kept falling on repeatably on his dick. It was an accident.

You now what I see if going to happen. Woman is going to put herself in the situation where she can have sex with rocker boy with permission. She will make sure all barriers are removed. Clear thinking - get drunk. Love towards husband - create a big fight so you are angry and question his love. Emotional - husband is away, so she is lonely!!!

Bad wife, Baddd! No! No! Put the dick down. You promised! Oh okay just this once.

Oh, and never, ever tell him. That would be stupid.

Assuming she followed the rest of your advice, Kat, it depends on the husband. A lot of men would certainly enjoy hearing, "Honey, I want you to know that has been hitting on me, but I told him I was already married to a wonderful man, and while I was flattered, he should go look somewhere else."

On the other hand, some men would go apeshit if she did that, so it would have to be a judgement call.

Ha ha Paulson wins. He totally nails it. She will now have to engineer the perfect situation, so it "just happens", and is not her fault at all.

Fight with hubby? Check.
Evening spent with group, including rocker? Check.
Somehow finds herself next to rocker all night, laughing at his jokes? Check.
Coyly speaking to him, as the group dwindles.(Whoops we are all alone in the bar now! How did that happen?)
Share cab ride but stop up to his place to grab a copy of their latest CD, pre-release.
Oh, maybe one drink before she goes home to deal with her frustrating husband. Sigh!
Then...well, it just happened, it was not her fault!

Of course, she was luckily wearing the new thong underwear she had purchased using cash that morning and which will be thrown away before she calls the cab to ride home.

Ha ha Paulson wins. He totally nails it. She will now have to engineer the perfect situation, so it "just happens", and is not her fault at all.

Fight with hubby? Check.
Evening spent with group, including rocker? Check.
Somehow finds herself next to rocker all night, laughing at his jokes? Check.
Coyly speaking to him, as the group dwindles.(Whoops we are all alone in the bar now! How did that happen?)
Share cab ride but stop up to his place to grab a copy of their latest CD, pre-release.
Oh, maybe one drink before she goes home to deal with her frustrating husband. Sigh!
Then...well, it just happened, it was not her fault!

Of course, she was luckily wearing the new thong underwear she had purchased using cash that morning and which will be thrown away before she calls the cab to ride home.

A shallow, wanna be star-fucker. What a great catch!

Not.

It might be a contest that Mr. Rock Star is having with someone in the band...."who can fuck the most married chicks?" ...regular banging when you don't have to work for it can get tiresome, you have to create obstacles to keep it interesting...

Why not ask her husband what he thinks? The odds are that it would be a one-time thing. I mean, rock stars who try to bang married chicks are generally not looking for a long term relationship. It represents a much lower probability of the kind of emotional involvement that ends marriages than, say, getting drunk and banging the neighbor.

If a famous hottie wanted a one-off with my husband, I'd tell him to go for it. A marriage certificate is not ownership papers.

She should be ready to accept the consequences, but if she's thinking about it to the point of writing an advice columnist, she already sees infidelity as a grey area. Might as well let her spouse know who he's married to.

One day the Mrs. comes home from work and mentions casually that [second-tier country music star] had tried a few pickup lines on her.

"Looks like none of them worked," I said.

"Well, at least he tried."

The difference here, I suppose, is that she wasn't a fan, whereas the LW seems to be.

Somehow, I don't think this woman is a terrible person for being tempted by status. She has, at least, a trace of a conscience that's telling her not to do this to her husband. Amy answered well, trying to tip the scale in favor of the angel sitting on LW's shoulder.

We're all tempted. What matters is how she deals with it. If she can say no to Roxtar, the question remains, can she live with herself if she does?

Or will she forever be looking resentfully at her husband, while she fantasizes that her affair with Roxtar might have blossomed into a full-blown commitment?

If she anticipates the latter, get a divorce from hubkins. If she wants to take a chance that an affair will blossom into something long-lasting, then he deserves the chance to find someone to whom commitment actually means something.

Some things to consider: 1) her chances at landing this guy are almost nil; 2) even if she does, he's a guy who sees nothing wrong with having an affair; 3) good mistresses rarely make good wives. Consider Henry VIII and his tempestuous second wife, Anne Boleyn. Her fiery nature made her an enticing mistress, but a less-than-desirable wife. Can't shed too many tears for history's most famous homewrecker.

I agree with JD, if her husband had the opportunity to have sex with a really hot woman, he would seriously consider it and would be in the same situation as the LW is now.

Long term relationships are doomed to fail unless there's open communication, and there will be adultery at some point one way or the other. You may as well talk about it and figure out what to do as situations arise (read 'The Ethical Slut' for more tips!)

Why do you assume that there will be adultery in all marriages? I haven't cheated on my husband in the 22 years we've been together, and I'd bet next month's mortgage he hasn't cheated on me. (He's remarkably easy to read.)

We have very open communication; we talk everything out. Doesn't mean we're having sex with other people.

Divorce your husband, he doesn't deserve you. He deserves an adult wife.

Hilariously, some couples actually have celebrity exceptions to their fidelity. As in, each partner gets to choose one or two celebrities that they would be allowed to have sex with, if given the opportunity.

Usually it's something of a joke, though.