Girl's got issues, honey, but so might you. Imagine how you'd have felt if you went to happy hour and she just didn't show, never mind didn't text you. (I knew one girl who actually planned to meet a guy at happy hour, made me go with her, and then, when she saw the guy, chickened out. Wanted me to tell him she couldn't make it, and I was all "how obvious can you be?" Of course I didn't do it, I left. But anyway.) Consider this a bullet dodged, and forget about it. Plenty o' fish, and all.

(Amy, new trick question?? But hey, at least milk is wet!)

At least she texted him and told him she was cancelling. It's more than some people would do.

More likely, since she's searching online, she found someone she thought was better suited, and decided to meet him instead.

Yeah, the odds of her having several dates lined up in a short time frame are high. If one of them was a third/fourth/whatever date it may have meant she switched from "Went on a few dates with" to "In a relationship with a guy" just hours before she was supposed to meet you.

Some people go on a date, and then don't date anyone else until it is clear that it's not going to work out. IE, if they want a second date with the person, they don't make plans with other people. Some people do the opposite, go on lots of dates, and don't stop doing so until it's clear there is an "official" relationship.

-Nicole

Three hours doesn't seem like a whole lot of lead time, but it's better than the last minute, anyway. But here's the thing: From what I can see of it, meeting somebody on line means you didn't really meet anybody. I suspect the LW is taking this a little more seriously than the girl is.

Here's the other thing: Since the LW didn't really meet anybody, he really doesn't know who was at the other end of the line. He might have dodged a serious bullet without even realizing it.

Explanations rarely help anyway. If she had told this guy that she wasn't over his ex, would he be any better about it? Probably not; he would think her timing on the cancellation was too late for the reason that it was - or something else.

People always want to explain no, but the importance you place on the reason for no is not going to be the importance the other person places on it, versus the importance of the event. So don't explain. A simple "I'm real sorry but I have to cancel/can't make it." is all you need to say, unless you want to make the other person feel worse (they are being devalued against whatever you are explaining).

Again, this is most of the time. Sometimes it's necessary, but people do it too much when then shouldn't.

I think Nicole nailed it anyhow, so it that what this guy would rather hear?

This isn't just a dating issue, it happens in the workplace, too. I go to work on some broad's horse, and find out she moved him the month before-- or, the horse died and she still didn't tell me. Bottom line is, we've failed to establish RESPECT, and the other person feels none. I get bashed on here for referring to the dating gurus, but this is an issue they spend a lot of time on. Men don't have to be victims of this cr@p.

Men don't have to be victims of this cr@p.

Neither do women, chief! But we are, a LOT of the time. It goes both ways, darlin'.

(Are you a blacksmith?? I miss my horses! But I just couldn't afford them anymore. CT is just too dang expensive! I had a Welsh Cob and a Quarter Horse Palomino, and I loved them both, but it got to the point where I could either pay my rent or their board, and I didn't want to live in the barn!)

I'm with some of the other folks here. Sometimes they just blow you off without even bothering to send a message. And almost never do you get the real reason why they did it. The bottom line is the date's not going to happen. Anything beyond that is meaningless fluff, and can possibly be misinterpreted. If she offered up that "haven't gotten over my ex" explanation, the guy might think he still has a chance.

I have a friend who has tried time and again to navigate the yucky world of Match.com, and one thing seems constant with her interactions: nobody has the balls to actually dial the phone and make a call (including my friend!) It's all texting. And miscommunication. And half the time the date doesn't even happen because of some poorly written non-punctuated mess of a 'conversation' that doesn't even make sense.

My view is that if you don't find it worthwhile to actually pick up the phone and hear the inflections in a person's voice, then you don't actually find yourself or the other person worthwhile to have a relationship with. How the hell do you start a romance via text?