The one thing the LW is not saying is, "I'm tired of this six-month nonsense. I want something that's going to last a lot longer, maybe the rest of my life." Until he says that, he doesn't really have a problem. However, it appears as if he's concerned about how it looks to his friends.

it appears as if he's concerned about how it looks to his friends.

I don't know; guys don't usually get concerned about stuff like that.

The way his friend's comment is written, it doesn't look like criticism, just a wry observation. Did he say it in a critical tone? If not, why is the LW taking it as criticism? Does he really want to change his pattern, or is he feeling outside pressure (from parents, or "society", or whoever) to do so?

If he does want to change the pattern, I suggest he start by looking back at his 6-month breakups and see if he can find a common thread which indicates why they happened. Did the women want more of a commitment than he was willing to make, and move on when he made that clear?

If he's been dating childless women in their late 20's or early 30's, there's a good chance that they had baby rabies, and didn't want to waste time with a guy who wouldn't sign up for fatherhood. He could break out of that pattern by going younger, older, or dating single/divorced mothers. (The best relationship I ever had was with a divorced mom two years older than me, and it started right at the LW's age.)

If you don't want a committed relationship, then no problem. Make it clear to the women. Bear in mind, you will hurt a lot of women no matter how clear you make it. There's this cliche in our culture that men are not into commitment and need to be tricked into it somehow, and if a man says no he really means yes. Many women buy into this idea. You will hurt them. If hurting women bothers you, then this is something you will have to think about.

If you DO want a committed relationship, then think through what it was about these women that made it not last. Do you have a pattern? Are you attracted to a certain "type"? Are you looking for the wrong things? Do an assessment.

It may just be that you haven't met the right one yet. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you catch a Prince... not sure what the male equivalent is... you have to kiss a lot of corpses before you find one that will wake up and be your Princess?

Or it may be that marriage is something you want "some day" but you're not ready yet, in which case, take some time to get ready if it's something you want in the long term. Don't wait TOO long because unless you're super rich or something there won't be a lot of fertile women lining up to date you when you're in your 50s, and so if a family is part of your long-term plan, plan accordingly.

Assuming that a long-term relationship is something that LW is seeking (which isn't clear to me), then one thing I might suggest is to do something different in terms of how and where you are meeting women. Because whatever the LW is doing now doesn't seem to be resulting in satisfactory mates.

I'm thinking maybe that long-term relationship he had in his twenties ended badly.

I knew one guy who told me he screwed up his relationships after a few weeks because he got tense, knowing it was going to go to hell, and he wanted to be the dumper instead of the dumpee.

I was joking with a bartender about guys who break up with their girlfriends just before birthdays and holidays. He rather sheepishly acknowledged he was one of them. He said he didn't know if it was because spending holidays with a girl seemed like a commitment, or because he just didn't want to be obligated to buy a gift.

I was supposed to have a plan? Nobody could have planned this. No complaints, but "Life is what happens while you're making plans."

I like that LW.

36, 6 months max.

Not bad not bad.

My newly divorced neighbor and I often commiserate about meeting suitable ladies. He's having a blast reading the modern dating gurus. One observation he's made, though, is how women seem to be the real commit-o-phobes nowadays. At our age, most men genuinely want someone for the long run. I told my (ex)trophy wife exactly that, and she dumped me, after, um, about 6 months. It was just before Christmas.

As Steven Wright mentioned... "My friend has a trophy wife. Apparently it wasn't first place."

Meanwhile - Mr. Clooney, there's no need to lie about your age. Nobody cares when you look like that.

Six-seven months is when the relationship starts being a relationship, and you know the person well enough to get a gauge for if it'll actually work long term. You don't have to be a commitment phobe, just not a commitment seeker to consistently end relationships around here. Being a commitment seeker is, in my biased opinion, just as bad as being a commitment phobe. Maybe he's neither.

Most of the "great women" I know would steer clear of a guy who isn't interested in more than 6 months with them (and has proved it by past performance). That doesn't mean they're asking for a lifetime commitment, either--it just says something about a guy who consistently jumps ship so fast.

This pattern doesn't seem so strange to me, for someone in their mid 30's. Like others have stated, it's around that age that people are more marriage minded and by 6 months that's likely to become a pertinent question. He's not saying that he has a hard 6 month rule, but that's about the length of his average relationship. I don't find that too surprising. It's probably better that he knows what he wants rather than lead women on or stay in a relationship out of convenience.

isn't anyone else going to mention the fact that maybe his friend isn't, perhaps, really a friend? If a "friend" of mine said that to me, I'd definitely consider the source. sarcasm isn't a quality i admire, especially when i'm expressing happiness about a relationship to someone i trust. not that LW doesn't have issues w/ commitment; maybe he does. but it sounds like he's letting this particular interaction be his moral compass. what about his own?

Amy is in rare form again - Restless Boyfriend Syndrome, etc. LOL!

Interesting Rachel, personally I love it when people bust my non-existent balls.

Amy, love your writing. You are a light unto the nation. This advice is good too, but I wonder what you'd write if it were the gender reversed equivalent.

To be specific, Feminists emphasize that men aren't "owed" sex or relationships by women, but few are opposed to the idea that men "owe" commitment in exchange for sex (or relationships). For example, do you believe that men are required to call after a one-night stand? Perhaps, a "how's it going" would be polite, but many, many women still feel betrayed if men refuse to continue the relationship after a hook up. Accusations of immorality abound.

Anon's and Pikachu's comments sort of reflect my own. At six months or so, a person has a really good idea of whether their new friend is marriage material. I think it's perfectly reasonable for this guy to end relationships that aren't going to go anywhere. Why waste more time?

ON the other hand, if he's dumping ladies who he likes and could see a future with, that's another story. He might want to do a little soul searching in that case.

"I want to spend the rest of my month with you" made me laugh...aloud.

Long-term relationships, preferably in marriage, are better for raising any children that might ensue. Let's just hope LW brings his condoms to the party, shall we?