Sex Degrees Of Separation
I've been seeing this fantastic guy, "Eric," for three months, and we're starting to feel like a couple. But a year ago, before we met, I made out with a friend of his at a party. I don't want Eric to find out and think I hid anything from him. How should I go about telling him?
--Uncomfortable
What barely happened in Vegas should also stay in Vegas. Yes, you and your boyfriend's friend had that special sort of attraction that leads two people to leave a party and never bother seeing each other again. Assuming there's no danger you'd run off with his friend, running off at the mouth would just give your boyfriend an icky visual to replay in his head and probably an icky feeling to go with it whenever you and his friend are in the same room. It's also unlikely that anybody would disclose this to your boyfriend, and even if they did, what would you be guilty of, pre-cheating on him? ("A year ago, my third eye was acting up, and I failed to foresee meeting you before I got a little drunk and made out with somebody you knew.") In general, it's best to avoid offering anyone details from your sex life unless they are your gynecologist or could catch something from you that would lead to a visit from a guy in a beekeeper suit from the CDC.
No no no. Don't tell him. How silly. And here's the thing: if he does find out and goes ballistic on you for something you did over a year ago, consider it a red flag and move on.
Seriously. People really worry about this kinda stuff? No wonder we're all screwed up.
Flynne at April 16, 2014 6:17 AM
Sayeth Flynne:
Well told, Flynne! As Miss Alkon says, I can't figure out what her self-declared crime is supposed to be. What makes people invent crises when there really aren't any?
Old RPM Daddy (OldRPMDaddy at GMail dot com) at April 16, 2014 8:21 AM
Freinds for a guy can range from "that guy who gave me a beer as I was walking down the beach" to "Sorry dad I'm giving my kidney to my freind Steve"
Its kinda lake how when you ask a woman if anything is wrong and she says nothing. It might mean "nothing" it might mean "I swear to god if you look at me crosswise I'll kill you and your whole family"
So,
1. Why the hell do you feel guilty for nothing more than kissing another guy once 9 months before you met him?
2. What kind of freind is this guy to your guy?
3. Has this friend ever mentioned it?
4. And finally and most importantly why the hell do you feel guilty for nothing more than kissing another guy once 9 months before you met him?
lujlp at April 16, 2014 1:34 PM
How should I go about telling him?
How about charades?
JD at April 18, 2014 9:25 AM
Maybe via interpretive dance?
Pinkie LeStrange at April 20, 2014 10:45 AM
Perhaps she's so worried about this because there's a bit more to it than what comes across from the letter?
Lobster at April 20, 2014 6:10 PM
Nurse! I need 10cc's of Drama, stat!
Now continue injecting that into the relationship every 22 days.
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at April 21, 2014 12:05 PM
As in the case of the male LW a few weeks ago that Frenched a girl at a party, if you are sure that it's in the past and not something you're likely to do again, then leave it alone.
Cousin Dave at April 23, 2014 8:26 AM
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