It's on her, yeah... but it would be a kindness for you to end it knowing she wants more. And it's an unkindness to continue. Is she letting you take advantage? Absolutely. Should she grow a pair and move on? Yes. Does that change the fact that you're taking advantage? No.

Women don't need to "grow a pair." We already have a pair -- maybe not the same pair, but still...

Dude. Break it off.

If your guy-sense is telling you that she’s hoping to have a deeper relationship even after you’ve told her that’s not happening... Hey, your guy-sense is not that sensitive - if you’re twigging on to her true feelings, they must be obvious to everyone else. No slam - most guys are not too quick on the emotional uptake.

Is she not your friend? Are you not sharing good times and body fluids? Why are you considering stringing your friend along just so you can scratch your jock itch from time to time? Believe me, everyone else who knows her, knows that she feels more for you than your willing to reciprocate. Now that you know, are you going to use your friend like a scratching post even though you know it hurts her, or are you going to be her friend?

She’s not willing to give up. She’s hoping you might change. You know that’s not happening. If you go on with this, that makes you a complete shit of a friend. Break it off. Tell her it’s you. Tell her you need space. Take some space - go celibate for a while. Won’t kill you. That’s what a friend would do.

If you’re willing to knowingly let her take false hope from your continuing sexual relationship just for a convenient fuck... yeah, that’s on you. She’s your friend. Be hers.

So everyones advice is women are to stupid and childish to make their own decisions and men must protect them women themselves?

I'm with you lujlp.

Oh, let's pick this apart:

I've been casually seeing a woman for a year. Early on, I told her I wasn't looking for a girlfriend. I think she was disappointed, but we continued seeing each other nonexclusively.
Was that you, her, or both of you?

She never pressures me for more commitment, but I suspect she's getting more attached.
What leads you to believe that?

I'd like to keep seeing her, but is it on me to break this off?
Why is this a question? If the relationship is going in the wrong direction and you don't believe it should continue, then it doesn't matter whether it's on you. I wonder if the LW is more worried that he might look bad if he breaks up with her. He might, but looking at Minos's comment above, it might be the only way of doing right by the girl.

Maybe she should be trying to find a real relationship with another guy. It sounds like the LW would like the girl to break up with him. That might make it easier on the LW, but again, what's the right thing to do?

One final thought: If the LW's perceptions are accurate, and she really does want more than LW is willing to give, what would we be suggesting to her?

Not just women, men can also be stupid when they're in love, and it's mean to string them along, too.

"She’s your friend. Be hers."

Yuck yuck yuck.

Fucking someone doesn't put them in the best bud status.

But if we were to use the friend equation here her responsibility is equal to his. She knows she likes him and doesn't admit it thusly isn't being honest to her friend. She's lying to him about her intentions. She isn't looking out for him anymore than he is. If she were she wouldn't be after her own agenda (assuming she wants to be bf/gf) knowing full well it isn't what he wants and deluding herself.

It's like those Reddit posts I keep reading over a guy who is friend zoned. The friend (woman) is clear that she doesn't want a relationship but the man insists otherwise and despite his broken heart he continues the friendship at his expense and detriment. It's not her responsibility to break contact. She's being honest.

If a man is telling you in direct words, and that is so rare, that he just want to fuck you then I am not sure what other kindness he can extend. He isn't leading her on giving her false hope.

He isn't stringing her along, like many men do.

I'm beginning to think that if a man can't be blunt to a woman and is still expected to coddle her than I understand why they're not blunt at all.

If he KNOWS that she wants more than he's willing to give, then the honorable thing to do is to break up. That's true regardless of the genders involved, and yes, the same situation does happen to people of both genders. (To take the friend-zone example above - I would argue that the situation is essentially the same. If a woman and a man are platonic friends, and he makes it KNOWN to her that he is in love with her and this friendship is killing him, but he won't stop seeing her - then yes, she has a responsibility as a moral human to cut it off for his own good.)

The difference here is that he doesn't KNOW anything. He only thinks and suspects. But are his suspicions based on real evidence? He doesn't say that she spends all their time together crying or moping. He just has a "sense."

Amy is right. He needs to have another conversation with the woman where he re-states his intentions very bluntly and asks if she's still ok with the arrangement. It's possible that after a year, she has started to assume that his feelings for her must be growing, in which case, he needs to set that record straight.

On the other hand, it's totally possible that this relationship is all she wants, too, and that she's perfectly satisfied. If that's the case, then that's her decision to make - and he should let her make it.

He isn't taking advantage. He's being upfront and honest. She's telling herself a different narrative. That's entirely on her.

Except people in this situation tend to lie about their true feelings ( if they have them).

Come on if you're the type of person who is secretly in love with someone and you know they don't feel the same way yet stick around in FWB for a year then you're probably not going to be honest when they ask you.

Because you're not honest with yourself. You're more afraid of loosing them than hurting yourself.

This isn't about friendship or morality. This is about being an adult and learning to take things at face value.

If someone says they're ok with something then you have to let them make the choice even if it's the wrong one.

The moral thing to do is to be honest. The nice thing to do varies in situations.

"She’s your friend. Be hers."

There's no mention of him butt-banging her and then wiping his manhood on the bedroom curtains so, yeah, he's friends with her.

However, the LW might want to have that status update refresh conversation tout suite.