Curl, Interrupted
The girl I'm dating wears hair extensions, and feeling them creeps me out. She's very pretty, and her hair is lovely without the extensions. Can I tell her they make me uncomfortable?
--Mr. Natural
When you're running your hand through your girlfriend's hair and a bunch comes out in your palm, it can be hard to keep straight whether you're making out or snaking the shower drain.
Your girlfriend joins an increasing number of women in planting non-native foliage in her hairgarden, probably because men tend to be attracted to long, lush hair. It's actually an evolutionary sign of good health. (Hair suffers when a person eats poorly or has a disease.) Because complaints are most productive when reconstituted as compliments, start by telling your girlfriend she's a natural beauty (as opposed to "If I wanted a girlfriend with interchangeable hair, I'd date Mrs. Potato Head"). Add that you'd love to run your hands through her real hair, and ask whether she'd consider going without the extensions. If she agrees, be sure you effuse when she's hair naturelle so she's inspired to keep it up. All in all, a little mystery is a good thing in a relationship, but it's best if you're wondering whether your girlfriend got her pretty hair from her mother and not suspecting she hired somebody to take a big scissors to Seabiscuit's tail.
I sometimes understand why someone would do this. I have to admit, though, that it kinda turned me off when a guy friend of mine got hair extensions. This was back in the late 80s when big hair bands were all the rage, and he played guitar. So I understand why he did it, because he thought his hair wasn't long enough. (Mine was past my shoulders anyway, almost to the middle of my back. He asked me out and I said, "oh honey, I'm sorry. I don't date guys with hair longer than mine." Then I laughed, and he finally got it, and he laughed. We went out for almost a year before I caught him cheating on me! LOL! Those were the days...)
Flynne at October 21, 2014 7:08 PM
Yeah, I had hair extensions very briefly back in the '90s when I was in the Naked Lady Industrial Complex (dancing at a "gentlemen's club" where the more you looked like a Barbie boll, the better your tips). I did look fabulous in a plastic sort of way, but they just felt *horrible.* Lumpy, unnatural . . . and as they grow out they constantly have to be fussed by a hairdresser. Plus, the weight of them on your regular hair, to which they are attached, can cause it to break and thin. Bad scene all round. And nobody ever wants to be forced to say, "Oh baby, I want to run my hands carefully *over* your hair." I hope.
Anathema at October 22, 2014 7:20 AM
The one asset I have in abundance is hair. Whenever something gets lost in our house, first we search through my hair. It actually could be there. My husband insisted I get it straightened because "I was scaring the children". When I wanted to make my own chocolate bar at Hershey's chocolate factory, I had to wear 2 caps. Even then, I probably shouldn't choose the food service industry.
Laura Hope at October 23, 2014 4:22 PM
Flynne, I'm sorry you caught that guy cheating on you. That's gotta hurt. He not only has the big hair, but he also has the promiscuity of a stereotypical rockstar. Musicians aren't exactly known for their high-fidelity.
Patrick at October 23, 2014 5:04 PM
"Musicians aren't exactly known for their high-fidelity."
No offense Patrick but that is complete bullshit.
Maybe the so-called "rockstars" are known for being womanizers and sleeping around but the average musician shares little in common with that very small group.
In terms of professional or hobbyist musicians, I have never seen a single study or poll to backup such a claim.
Massage Therapy -- THAT is a demographic to be weary of.
Seriously.
I-dated-a-whore at October 23, 2014 10:58 PM
Thanks, Patrick. We managed to remains friends, anyway, and I'm still trying to figure that one out!!
And, not to offend you either, I-dated-a-whore, but another really dear musician friend of mine, with whom I was in a couple of bands, once told me, "all musicians are sluts". I gave him the hairy eye-ball, and he amended that to "all rock musicians are sluts". Once more, the hairy eye-ball, and he amended it even further to "all local rock musicians are sluts". And with that one, I had to agree. Both male and female. We were all in each others' pants at one time or another. Mostly the guys, but a few of the girls,too. This was when we were younger, back in the 70s, 80s & 90s; nowadays, not so much anymore. I guess because we're older now? And more settled? Who knows? But I can't speak for the younger musicians in our area. Who the hell knows what they're doing! lol!
Flynne at October 24, 2014 5:29 AM
I dated a lot of musicians and a lot of them are slutty. I don't know if it's the need for attention(which was definitely an issue with one in particular) or maybe its just how available casual sex is when you're in a rock band in the NY/NJ area, but in my experience, rock musician = promiscuous.
linny at October 24, 2014 2:17 PM
I hear you Flynne. No offense taken. I'm smiling at the "hairy eye-ball". :)
Also, my apology to Patrick. I did not intend to sound rude towards you. Musicians might be sluts but we are 'sensitive' sluts.
I-dated-a-whore at October 25, 2014 2:33 AM
maybe its just how available casual sex is when you're in a rock band in the NY/NJ area
Very much this, I firmly believe. In general, I think that nearly all men will cheat if they can do so without much effort. I've never cheated on either of my wives in a combined 36 years of marriage--because I'm not the kind of guy women throw themselves at, and I'm too lazy to go out and get one to sleep with me.
Rex Little at October 25, 2014 7:02 AM
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