Nightlight At The End Of The Tunnel
My boyfriend thinks there's something wrong with me because of how much I sleep. I've always needed to sleep a lot (like, nine hours). I've been tested for everything, and I'm fine. Do some people just need more sleep? How do I get him off my back?
--Duvet-Covered
Okay, so you're the love child of Rip Van Winkle and a log.
Studies on identical twins suggest that our "sleep duration" (how long we tend to sleep) is between 31 and 55 percent "heritable" -- which is to say factory-installed, driven by our genes.
Beyond your boyfriend not being tuned in to the genetics, there's a little-known feature of our immune system -- basically the psychological version of that plexiglass partition in liquor stores in bad neighborhoods -- that may be causing him to worry about your sleepathons. In addition to warrior cells being sent out by our immune system to attack bodily invaders, such as viruses, psychologist Mark Schaller's research suggests we have a psychological warning system -- the "behavioral immune system" -- to help us avoid being exposed to disease in the first place.
This warning system gets triggered by, among other things, atypical behavior -- for example, sleeping far more than most people. To get your boyfriend off your case, you might tell him that being adequately rested is actually associated with lower risk of heart disease, obesity, and psychiatric problems. In fact, it's even associated with less risk of early mortality -- despite the things your boyfriend probably yells in bed: "Hey! Hey! You still alive? Should I call 911?"
I too have always been one to need a huge amount of sleep, even at a very young age. My parents couldn't understand it and used to yell at me to taking naps and called me lazy. When I was in my mid 20's I went to see a doctor about it and he ran all kinds of tests which came up with nothing. I'm in my 60's now and STILL need a lot of sleep. Thankfully I'm retired and no longer have to answer to anybody about how long I sleep or how many naps I take!
Jan at July 4, 2018 10:14 AM
I and most of my family require 8-9 hours of sleep to function. After a few days of getting less than that, we are not human until we get a solid 8 hours in.
My husband and his family, meanwhile, require very little sleep and most of his family can’t sleep more than 6 hours at a time. They’ll party til the wee hours and then want to hit up early mass or be cooking breakfast and singing in the kitchen by 7am. Spending the weekend with them nearly kills me, and they’re wondering what’s wrong with me and why I’m nodding off at the holiday party or in my pancakes.
If LW’s boyfriend resents having to tiptoe around her while she’s sleeping, might I suggest a white-sound machine in the bedroom? My husband could be in the yard with power tools and I won’t hear a thing.
sofar at July 6, 2018 9:46 AM
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