50 Pounds Overweight? Your Husband "Should" Want You Anyway
Just posted another one of my Advice Goddess columns, my response to a silly letter in response to a previous column. The letter writer ends her screed with:
For a few extra pounds to prevent a man from seeing why he fell in love with his wife is barbaric. If you're really in love, you transcend the external. If this woman can find it within herself to love the stuff she's made of, she'll attract attention she never thought imaginable -- the sort only unconditional self-acceptance brings.
An excerpt from my response:
If a woman's sex appeal sprang from inner beauty, Eleanor Roosevelt, who looked like a scone in a housedress, would've been Playboy's hottest selling cover girl of all time.
And a note to those of you who'd like to read me in their local papers, which is how I earn my living. Please e-mail the features editor at your local daily and/or the editor and/or publisher of your local alt weekly. Tell them you'd like to read Amy Alkon's column in the paper, tell them why, and give them my e-mail address (adviceamy at aol dot com) and the address of my site, advicegoddess.com. Many thanks.
>> a scone in a housedress.
That's gonna stick with me all day.
PS- I like jiggly women, but 50 pounds would really be pushing it. Unless she was on top.
eric at April 30, 2008 7:38 AM
"Scone in a housedress" reminds me why I'm a fan. That has to be two thumbs up from Strunk & White !
Radwaste at April 30, 2008 9:26 AM
Most Women are clueless on this subject. I was watching that sex therapist woman on late night cable take calls (Sue Johansen??, I think is her name) when she took a call from a woman who was complaining that her husband had lost all interest in sex.
Know-it-all Sue started interogating the caller about her Husband and their situation. Is he depressed? Is he under a lot of stress? Have you tried romantic dinners? Date nights? and several other inane questions all the while I was almost screaming at the TV: "Ask her if she gained 50 pounds!!"
None of the answers explained the no-sex situation so Sue just shrugged and apologized for not being able to help the woman while implying that her husband must have some serious problems. She then just went on to the next call.
Never asking the obvious (to me and every other Man) question.
And she's the "expert" sex therapist.
I will add one thing in defense of women. If hubby has packed on 50lbs too then he has no business being upset about her weight gain.
sean at April 30, 2008 11:37 AM
> If you're really in love, you
> transcend the external.
1. Says who?
(I mean, as you survey world literature and culture as you see it, is there any good evidence for this belief, or are you just hoping that it's true?)
2. Is "love" only about being "really in love"?
3. Whaddya mean, "transcend"?
4. Whaddya mean, "external"?
I don't like this person.
But I agree with Eric, though. Fat women are only good for two things: Sex and conversation. During both encounters, the object of the game is to slap and shove things back into a pleasing proportion....
Amy, how can you make a living publishing a conventional personal advice column when so much of your private energy seems to go to broader topics?
Twenty years ago I used to love arguing about the attitudes of fat girls on computer fora... But, y'know, I was just a kid in my middle 30's.
When you write so much on Islam and so forth, do you risk alienating your core audience?
Crid at April 30, 2008 11:54 AM
Unfortunately, I've never been a very good whore, sexual or otherwise. My attitude about sex is that it's least costly if I give it away for free (as opposed to those women who marry some troll for money, and then spend their lives trying to come up with reasons to avoid fucking him).
And with everything I write, my questions to myself are along the lines of: Is it true, is it defensible, is it rational, is in interesting, and is it entertaining. I try to have everything be all those things. Now, I don't do advice columns on bestiality or stuff that would get me fired from a bunch of papers. That just seems counterproductive and silly. But, I take issues I think are interesting, and which I think a lot of people have the wrong idea about, and try to lay them out there in a way I won't get my ass fired.
Sometimes, I just can't help writing stuff like this, though:
http://www.advicegoddess.com/ag-column-archives/2007/05/diddle-he-or-di.html
And now I no longer run in C-Ville Weekly, although the editor says it's not because of the complaints angry (and wrong on the research) feminists sent in about what I wrote.
Amy Alkon at April 30, 2008 12:00 PM
"Is he depressed? Is he under a lot of stress? Have you tried romantic dinners? Date nights? and several other inane questions" Sean
the part that the late night people missed, is that these are questions you ask women... You can ask men too, but they don't get you to the heart of the matter... take that romantic dinner, shove it off the table, and hop up on the table? THAT will get his attention... Date night is a babysitter that stays over so you two can get a room somewhere...
seems like it is assumed that either guys are easy to fix with this problem, or you should overthink it... If he's been working 16hrs. a day for the last week, and you say: "don'cha want me anymore?" Shyeah, problem...
None of that is mentioning the issue with how all the 'interesting' clothing has been pitched, how alluring that full length flannel nightie, and toe socks is... espcially when you don't make a pass at him until 5mins before he has to go to work... although, maybe that only happened to me.
SwissArmyD at April 30, 2008 1:39 PM
Sue the sex therapist was probably not allowed to ask 'are ya fat', so had to dance around the issue. Just a guess.
Chrissy at April 30, 2008 4:17 PM
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